Clay: Aiken for Another Makeover?

Plus: Will Katharine McPhee Outshine Taylor Hicks in Post-'Idol' Stardom?




PEOPLE magazine has a gallery out this week of celebrity makeovers. Clay Aiken heads up the pack, which also includes Jessica Simpson, Beyonce, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Seacrest.

As celeb makeovers go, some of them are good, others are more like good-grief.

All of America got to see Clay's new look last week when he appeared on 'American Idol' in what might have been the gayest TV moment ever.

Question: Was it also the meanest TV moment ever?

More than any other show, 'Idol' has an uncanny ability to make jackasses of people (and if they're femmy guys like Michael Sandecki, even better), while making their dreams come true. It leaves the viewer, well, me anyway, wondering if we should be laughing with the object of 'Idol's' affection, or at them. Is it homophobia or homophilia? And is the joke on them -- or on me?

Look at the early episodes of any 'Idol' season: It's clear that Simon hates sissies. That has a habit of spilling over into the show as a whole. In watching the Sandecki-meets-Clay thing play out, it seemed almost as if 'Idol' was trying to butch Clay up by having him appear next to a nelly screamer.

Which brings me back to Clay's makeover. WHAT IS HE THINKING?

Clay, who was geekier than all get-out when he first came to 'Idol,' got a good makeover during the course of the season in which he won first runner-up, and he and ended up pretty cute. This mop of hair thing he's got going on now, plus the ultra-sculpted eyebrows and overindulgence in Max Factor, make him look plastic and like he's trying way to hard too be something he isn't.

And maybe that's the problem.


PS: From the school of "Ruben who?" riddle me this about this year's runner-up:



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Happy Gay Pride! Mmm, Maybe Not

"A hundred people were not afraid to go out and protest homophobia and fascism."
-- Nikolai Alexeyev, a Moscow Pride Organizer




Gay Pride month officially kicks off this week. Floats are being built. Brunch menus are being planned. All manner of rainbow doodads are being readied to be worn proudly.

And ... Skinheads and militant Orthodox Christians are attacking gay and lesbian marchers. Bricks are being thrown. Gays are being detained by police.

Quite a contrast, eh? And yet, both true, not to mention related.

The violence I'm talking about happened to gay pride organizers in Moscow this weekend. Andy Towle over at Towleroad has a compelling round-up of what took place, which you can read here.

When you're feeling blase about gay pride in any-town-USA, think about our brothers and sisters in Moscow (or Nigeria, or St. Maarten, or... ) and remember that gay pride events -- and being able to be out and proud -- are things we fought for, things we're still fighting for.

Oh, and we still don't have civil rights in our own country.

Maybe gay pride does still matter.

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MEN: Who I'd Want, Who I'd Get

I already miss Wentworth Miller on 'Prison Break' Monday nights more than I can possibly express. I love how he wore his TV-heart on his sleeve when he told the TV Tattler,

"Michael and Sara have a real connection, forged in extreme circumstances, but there are so many obstacles between them."

I swear I felt as if he was speaking right to me [when I substitute "Kenneth" for "Sara"].

I'll continue to pine for Michael, aka Wentworth, who you have to admit is visually stunning. If I weren't already married, he is definitely who I would WANT to date:

And thank god I am married, since based on what my dating friends tell me, this is probably who I'd END UP dating:



'Prison Break' By Donnie7
for the Regrettable Tattoos 6 contest at Worth1000.com

 

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Jared Leto's So-Called Coming Out

NEWS FLASH: Jared Leto Says He's Gay

DOUBLE NEWS FLASH: NOT REALLY.



In an AIM Interview with AOL Music, actor and musician Jared Leto typed these words into AOL Instant Messenger:

ThirtySecondLeto: I’ll give you an exclusive....
TyeinMusic: ooh. lay it on me
ThirtySecondLeto: I’m gay
TyeinMusic: *!*
TyeinMusic: please tell me you're serious
ThirtySecondLeto: as a goose.

Wow. Is he for real?

I only ask that because:

A) Leto has dated some of Hollywood's leading women. On the other hand, so did Montgomery Clift and scads of other Hollywood hotties who were gay.

And B) It seems like such an off-the-wall moment to tell the whole world he loves men.

Leto, who twice has been named one of PEOPLE magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People, is on tour with his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, and he has a new album coming out: 'A Beautiful Lie.' 

So is his coming out a "beautiful lie" to garner some publicity, or a real-life moment? My straight-guy writing partner and I chatted aboutit today in our column, Straighten Out. I wanted to get a straight guy's take on the story. He thinks Jared's coming out is great for straight guys, and the reason is, well, typical for a straight guy.

Personally, I think it would be very cool to add Jared Leto to our gay ranks, but whether Leto is really gay or not, I almost don't care. Why? Because if he is gay, he's said so. If he's not, he obviously doesn't care if people think he is.

Either way, Jared Leto's so-called coming out makes me grin ear to ear.

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Kat & Taylor Neck and Neck? Nah, Probably Not

Plus, the Gayest Moments on 'American Idol' This Season (Bottom of Page)




I think Taylor's fate is sealed as the next 'American Idol.' Simon so much as said so on the show last night. Not that Simon's opinion is the end-all and be-all, but he isn't throwing stuff out like that for no reason. He's sending not-so-subliminal messages to text-messagers everywhere.

Meanwhile, our gay query of the week on AOL Gay & Lesbian also shows Taylor with a solid lead as of 7:00 PM, Wednesday, May 23:



Frankly, Mr. Hicks seems like an odd 'Idol.' I mean, he is an ODD and spastic guy, but he also seems like a weird choice to be the 'American Idol.' Then again, maybe it's a good sign that America wants some diversity by embracing a gray-haired, hoot-n-hollerin' fella who works the stage in a pose that always makes me think he really, really has to find a men's room.

Katharine doesn't have the pipes to be an 'Idol.' Or rather, I think she has them but still needs to train them. She does, however, have THE GREATEST jewelry of any 'Idol' contestant ever, which brings me to  this Week's Three Gayest Moments on 'American Idol.'

Gayest Moment #1: Katharine's Bling



I am totally convinced that Katharine, or 'Idol,' has a drag queen working backstage in the costume department. Her neck this week was weighed down with not only a couple strings of pearls, but a diamond/rhinestone necklace of the sort that only drag queens and real queens own. Although I thought it fell into the drag beauty school of "it's not done until it's overdone," I do admire that Katharine has the GUTS to walk out wearing all that.


Gayest Moment #2: For Crying Out Loud, Dad!


The McPhee Family
One of the few moments in which Kat's dad isn't bawling

What is the problem with Katharine's dad? The man cannot stop crying. What's gay-positive about this is that he's practically single-handedly showing ALL MEN what we gay men -- and straight guys who watch sports --  have always known, and that is that it's OK to cry. Thanks, Dad! It's sweet that he cares. On the other hand, would you please get a grip? When that dam breaks every time Kat opens her mouth, it starts to feel a little less special.

Gayest Moment #3: Taylor Is Trying to Be a Little Bit Rock-n-Roll, a Little Bit Metrosexual



And the problem with that is, it's not working. I'm sorry, but you can't even call that purple velvet jacket he wore last night "gay" for the simple reason that very few gay men would ever been seen dead in it. Taylor is either getting bad gay advice or no gay advice, and both of those scenarios are dangerous. I can only think of two gay people who could pull off that jacket, skater Rudy Galindo and Liberace, both of whom, of course, I adore.

ALSO: See a Recap of the Gayest Moments on 'American Idol' This Season!

This Week's Three, Er, Two Gayest Moments on 'American Idol'
The REAL Reason Chris Was Voted Off of 'Idol'
'American Idol': The Man Show
'American Idol': Paris Burned, Katharine Was Cold, Cupcakes Are Just Right
My Big Gay Prediction: 'Idol' Will Go Man-on-Man, & Elliot Will Win
This Week's Gayest 'American Idol' Moments (April 20)
The Gay Agenda: Get Mandisa Booted Off 'American Idol' (Check!)

Bonus Link, File as 'Kinda Pathetic': 'Idol' Reject Clark Peddles CD

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Tags: American Idol, Reality TV, Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Taylor Hicks

When Did You Know You Were Straight?

You may have heard mention of the fact that my hunky straight boyfriend and I have started a new weekly column. Well, unless you want the Gay Secret Police (lavender jackboots!) to break into your bedroom and tattoo the URL inside your eyelids, I recommend you get with the program.

Who knows, you may even enjoy it! This week, I ask Jeff when the definitive moment was that he knew he was straight. Every gay person alive has their own moment, but I had no idea that straight folks ...

Almost ruined it for you! Check it out for yourself.

Straighten Out!: When Did You Know You Were Straight?

 

Is Madonna Still ALL THAT? Pretty Much

The gay globe is abuzz today with this and that about Madonna, who launched her new tour yesterday in L.A.
See: Towleroad | PerezHilton | Popwatch | AOL Music News | Queerty, with a P.S. to Queerty -- congrats on FINALLY adding Comments to Queerty, boys.

The Confessions tour sounds over the top. I wasn't planning to go. I saw her last tour and am not a huge concert fan, but based on what people are saying, I may have to reconsider.

The big hullaballoo -- of which there's always some when Madonna mounts a show -- centers around the fact that she crucifies herself. People are crying blasphemy!

First off, it's Madonna. She doesn't care.

Second, does blasphemy really MEAN anything anymore? I guess it's in the eye of the beholder. 'The Da Vinci Code' isn't blasphemy. It's fiction. Madonna's stunt isn't blasphemy. It's showbusiness.

This, people, is blasphemy:

'Superman Returns' by DaveKennedy
for the Directors Cut 7 contest on Worth 1000.com

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World's Gayest Fight Scene, Plus, What Bananas Mean

Here are two accidentally-gay video clips bobbing around the electronic swimming pool.

Courtesy of WFMU's superlative Beware of the Blog, behold the world's gayest fight scene:

Click to Watch.

It's a little grosser than I usually go for, but I couldn't resist these highlights:

1) Hellooo, the Michael Douglas lookalike (MDL) tongues a KNIFE ... Hmmm, what could it mean?

2) MDL's opponent checks out his own bulging biceps right before he rips his own shirt off and thinks, "I'd kiss you both, but I have to hand out a beatdown first."

3) One of the guys has a gleaming, clean chest, and the other is just-so-perfectly clipped. They make an adorable couple, really.

4) The glistening grapplers grab for what seems like an eternity. I think they're enjoying this. Wonder if they're members of the East Coast Gay Wrestling Club?

5) A back-flipping, one-armed woman saves the day!


The next unintentionally gay video clip comes from Kirk Cameron and Kiwi preacher Ray Comfort's 'Way of the Master Series,' a multimedia extravaganza intelligently designed to make conservative lockstep Christianity so palatable and nonthreatening that one minute you're in front of your computer watching a video and next thing you know, you're throwing science books on a bonfire.

Click to Watch

Comfort explains that we were all created by a divine intelligence simply because our hands can grab bananas.

Comfort seems a little TOO comfortable with his banana if you ask me, and I can't tell if Kirk is really nervous or really turned on, or both.

If seeing this video totally freaks you out and you feel weird holding and peeling a banana forevermore, check out my esteemed colleague Joe Loong's discussion on a whole other way to peel bananas that works just as well.  Who knew?

More Video: Check out AOL Viral Videos for What's Burning Down the 'Net

 

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'Will & Grace' Finale, Finally

Tonight's the night. 'Will & Grace' will quip their last quip. Jack will fling his last flaming one-liner. Karen will sling her last vodka stinger.

Seasoned columnist Gail Shister at the Philadelphia Inquirer has good roundup today of various opinions about the show. I'm not just saying that because I'm quoted in her article (though it was cool to be included). She interviewed a lot of people and incisively encapsulates the impact and significance of 'Will & Grace.'  It's good to be reminded of what there was to love about this show since, for me, I will miss what it was, but not what it became.

Shister writes that the show "proved that a broad audience would embrace a show with a controversial theme -- as long as it was well written, well acted, and knocked our socks off." She then adds, "'Will & Grace' knocked our sex off, too."

See what Gail Shister and a few others have to say about the end of the first really, really gay show on primetime, then tell me what you think.

· 'Will & Grace' Bids Goodbye But Leaves a Big Mark, Gail Shister, Philadelphia Inquirer
· 'Will & Grace' and Gays: The Thrill Has Been Long Gone, Hank Stuever, Washington Post (Free Registration Required)
· 'Will & Grace' Leaves TV Comedy Out of the Closet, Steve Gorman, Reuters/AOL News
· Biddinga Gay Adieu to TV's 'Will & Grace' -- With Mixed Feelings, Gena Hymowech, AfterElton.com
· We Had a Gay, Old Time, Mekeisha Madden Toby, Detroit News

PS: I do love that Wilton Manors, Florida, is proving itself to be one of the gayest places in America by hosting a 'Will & Grace' finale viewing party tonight on a big outdoor screen. "Bring a blanket or a beanbag. The city will provide popcorn and soda."  Gotta love Fort Lauderdale. Story, Details

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Katharine Won the Gays, Maybe the Stars, Too

We don't know who got the most votes last night, but we do know who got the least: My Man Elliott. With 33.06 percent of the vote, he narrowly lost out to his competition, who clocked in at 33.26 percent and 33.68 percent. Fox won't say who got the highest.

Was I surprised at Elliott's defeat? Not really, and I'll tell you why. When I got home last night, I found my husband sitting in front of the TV watching Katharine doing Judy on TiVo.  Not just watching, he was adoring her. He was rewinding. He was smitten. In fact, I think he might have been crying.

I knew right then that Elliott and I were screwed. Katharine's Eva-Cassidy-ized version of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' was a sucker punch (thrown by Simon) to grab just enough of the gay vote to give her the edge over Elliott.

It appears as if last night's events may also have been predestined. Check out what Tarot.com astrologer Jeff Fawer predicted for Kat: 'American Idol' Predictions 2006

 

 

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This Week's Three, Er, Two Gayest Moments on 'American Idol'

Gayest Moment #1
Nice try, McPhee. If you think you can land the whole entire gay voting block by pulling the ol' Judy Garland trick, you ... Um ... Could be RIGHT.

Last night's 'Idol' was mind blowing. Katharine, who I pegged as a goner for sure, reached so deep inside herself to deliver what she hopes were a couple of life-saving numbers, that she could probably have reached THROUGH and tickled her own behind. Her rendition of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' -- partly sung a capella -- was stupendous. As the judges like to say, Katherine, you made it your own. It takes guts to sing Judy's signature song. It would have been a nice touch to add some ruby red glitter on those red pumps you wore, but you get an A for effort anyway.

Katherine may be one of the prettiest women on TV today. She is stunning. Not only was my hunky straight boyfriend (HSB) practically wetting himself in my living room every time she came on screen, my GAY HUSBAND was too. Kat -- you literally brought out the hetero in my homo. I thought he was over that.

So, yes, you get gay kudos for a great night.

I think it's still possible though, albeit now less certain, that you will go home tonight.

I'm worried about my man Elliott. Not because I think any less of his talents. I don't. He's the best singer on this show. But his song choices/assignments were just kind of  -- and I hate to use the "F" word, but --  flat.  Elliott, you know you could sing the phone book and I'd be in heaven, but this is the moment you need to pull it out, baby! Give the public some James Blunt or John Mayer -- something text-message worthy.

Elliott, I believe to my soul that you will prevail tonight. There. Let's see if that helps.

Taylor was so comfortable on stage, and sounded so good, that he made me uncomfortable. I think it's just nerves (mine) now that there's so much at stake. He's solidly in the Top Two, what with his "soul patrol" working those phone lines. (Although that's what we all said about Chris, right?)

Gayest Moment #2: Ryan Seacrest's Perfect Man Stubble



Ryan had a healthy, manly, face full of man stubble going on last night. There was a discussion in my living room about this. HSB immediately went to a George Michael reference, which is gayly commendable for my straight friend to seize upon. My husband was focused on the lengths to which Ryan went to have a perfectly coiffed man shadow. Someone in the room said it was almost as if he TIMED his stubble -- like that's a bad thing -- and I had to confess right then that I do that. I like doing a little man stubble once or twice a week, and OF COURSE I time it. If I want the perfect stubble, I shave exactly 36 hours before I need my beard at the perfect length. Not too long, not too short. I thought all gay men did this?

Gayest Moment #3: NOTHING.
Thanks SO Much, America, for Robbing Me of Chris Daughtry



Who knew that losing the biggest straight guy on 'Idol' would make the show less gay? If it's possible, 'American Idol' wasn't gay enough last night for me to spot at least three super gay moments. Chris' absence was felt. Last week Chris' sky-rocketing metrosexuality gave us ALL THREE of the gayest moments. Now, I get nothing from him. Chris, I really, really miss you, man.

One last thing, people. About 1,000 of you have again and again misquoted me in the comments on this blog and in e-mail you've sent to me saying that I said Chris Daughtry is GAY. For the record, I never, ever, no way, no how said Chris was gay. Do I wish he were? Yes. Is he adopting a few well-chosen gay qualities (manscaping, boxer briefs and $300 sunglasses)? Yes. But I never said he was gay.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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Could the Right Guy Make My Straight Friend Gay?

Straighten Out! is a new column that launches today. I hope you will check it out. It's co-authored by my colleague Jeff Simmermon and yours truly.

Jeff is straight. I'm gay. (I know -- shocker.) When I was out of work late last year with a broken arm, Jeff stepped in to keep AOL Gay and Lesbian going for me. He knew practically nothing of the gays, and would call me with some pretty off the wall questions sometimes as he navigated being an honorary gay man for a few weeks.

He did a hell of a job ... considering. 

Here's a little office gossip: When Jeff first came to AOL, but before he was assigned to specific editorial areas, he specifically asked not to be assigned to Gay & Lesbian because he felt that he didn't have the ability to speak to the audience. He was really concerned about it.

What ended up happening was cool. With his immersion therapy into the gay universe, we started to talk about issues of all kinds, and how our respective viewpoints were (or were not) influenced by being straight or gay.
 
This column is the result of those conversations.

You can be a part of it, too. Have something you always wanted to know about the other team but were afraid to ask? Now you can ask it. You can send in questions, and we'll tackle them for you.

There's a place to leave comments on the column, too. Tell us what you think. Tell us you love it. Tell us you hate it. Weigh in. Get all riled up and Bible-thumping on us -- whatever makes you happy.

Straighten Out! This Week: Could the Right Man Make You Gay?

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HIV Positive -- This Time, It's Personal

A few months ago, a dear and longtime close friend delivered some news to my husband and me of the sort that you never want to hear from someone you love: He tested HIV positive.

I lived through the holocaust years of the '80s and early '90s. Like many people, I lost friends and loved ones to AIDS, including my former partner. In 1995, five of my very closest friends died within a six-month period. Today, I of course have friends who are positive, but seroconversion these days is rare among my social group, which is why it came as such a shock when it happened to my friend, John Andriote.

It was shocking not only because the news is sad in and of itself, but because John is no stranger to HIV: He's an internationally known author and reporter on the subject, and has been for 20 years. One of John's books, 'Victory Deferred, How AIDS Changed Gay Life in America,' is a remarkable and authoritative chronicle of how the gay community lived with, and sometimes died from, HIV/AIDS. It was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize.

Part of the discussion my husband and I had with him was how he, as a professional authority on HIV, would integrate the new reality of his own status into his work. How should he come out about being HIV+ ? In true John fashion, he chose to write about it.

Yesterday, John's personal story ran in the Washington Post. He told me it's the hardest thing he's ever written. He takes the reader on a journey of someone who knew everything there was to know about living with HIV/AIDS -- except what it felt like to be living with it himself.

In an e-mail John sent around to friends alerting them to the Post article -- some perhaps learning about his health news in that very e-mail -- he said that he hopes the story would "help to lift up people living with the virus, too many of whom still are afraid to reveal their status because of the stigma and shame they are told they should feel."

Read this article. And thank you, John, for being this brave.

AIDS: For 20 Years, HIV Was My Livelihood. Now, It's My Life (Washington Post, Free Registration Required)

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The History Some Americans Don't Want Taught

State Sen. Sheila Kuehl pictured with Assemblyman Mark Leno

California State Senator Sheila Kuehl had a coup this past week. A bill she introduced passed in the California senate that would require California textbooks to include the contributions made by gay men and lesbians to the economic, political and social development of California and the U.S.

Besides the fact that students should learn about the homophobic assassination of San Francisco supervisor Harvey Milk, or know that poet Langston Hughes was a gay man, or understand the significance of the gay rights movement in California, studies show that gay kids are safer in school when their peers are given the opportunity learn about gay issues.

"The 2004 Safe Place to Learn report showed that California schools were safer when students learned about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in the classroom. Specifically, the report found at schools with bias free, inclusive curriculum, 85 percent of all students felt safe at school and 65 percent of all students felt their school was a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students. At the schools where there was no mention in the classroom of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people only 63 percent of all students felt safe at school and only 40% of the students felt that their school was a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students."
Press Release: Kuehl’s Bias Free Curriculum Act Passes Senate

The message boards on AOL are burning up today about the issue of gay-inclusive textbooks, with some of the most hateful posts I've seen in a while.

This is really sad. It shows we still have a lot of work to do in getting Americans to know and understand gay men and lesbians.

Fortunately, if the bill passes the other house and the governor signs it, the students in whose hands the textbooks will eventually end up probably will be much more open to these issues than the homophobes who want to erase gays from history.  As I talked about last week, the new generation of kids known as  "dotnets and millennials" promises to have a far more tolerant stance toward gays.

I have hope.

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Athletic Supporters II: The Underwear Edition

Nothing serious like 'American Idol' to write about today, unless you, like me, are serious about having fun seeing a bunch of super sexy guy-next-door types traipsing around in their underwear.

Today's photo gallery, Athletic Supporters II, is a follow-up to last week's Athletic Supporters I, only this week you get to see way more muscles, flesh and well, other stuff.

These guys are all DC athletes. The fearless leader of Team DC, Brent, aka Barbara Bush, had a terrific idea on how to raise some bucks for the uniform fund of those travelling to this summer's gay games in Chicago and Montreal:

 "Let's put on a show!"  Barbara is very theatrical.

These guys are really cute. And they will look great in their uniforms thanks to the night they shed any bits of shyness and gave us a wholesome, bawdy show for a good cause. [Note: No, "wholesome" and "bawdy" are not mutually exclusive.]

As I said last time: Click, Drool, Repeat.

  Athletic Supporters II: The Underwear Edition

  Athletic Supporters I


PS: Heads up for you baseball fans: Team DC will host another 'Nationals Night OUT' on August 8. Last year over 1,000 gay men and lesbians took themselves out to the ballgame to root for D.C.'s hometown team. This year they'll double that, I'm sure. The Gay Men's Chorus of Washington will sing the national anthem, and a big homosexual will likely throw out the first ball. Mark your calendars. Oh -- and the Nationals will play the Florida Marlins (if you care about that part).

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The REAL Reason Chris Was Voted Off of 'Idol'

I have a lot of fun writing about 'American Idol' (see post below) and spotting its gayest moments so you can give your own gaydar a rest. And I LOVE and appreciate the comments you leave here and the e-mail you send. Thanks and keep 'em coming.

I simply have to share with everyone my Top Three Favorite Blog Comments/Mail received today:

Fashion Matters:
"Chris probably would have won last night if only he would have only said he wears JOCK STRAPS."  Comment from xjpopijon

I Can't Fool Anyone:
"I think that who ever thought that this was 'the gayest moments and it was all Chris' is gay themselves." Comment from oolplayplay

The REAL Reason Chris Was Voted Off of 'Idol':
"I think that you [Gayest Editor Ever @ Worth Repeating] may very well be the cause of Chris being voted off.  I think that Elliot or Taylor look more gay than Chris.  I think that you are low for defaming a very nice guy. You evidently do not believe in God or you wouldn't be gay." via E-mail

Wow.

I so much as say that Chris Daughtry's manscaping and gay underpants are turning him metrosexual and BOOM! He gets voted off 'Idol.'

Awesome.

I seriously doubt my humble gay blog has that kind of power ... But ... What if I were to tell you George Bush very likely uses a daily moisturizer and one time may have considered taking the curl off of some of his own body hair?

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'American Idol': The Man Show

Plus: The Three Gayest Moments on 'Idol' This Week (And They Are ALL About Chris)

Last night was men's night on 'American Idol.' It will be for the rest of this season when Katharine is eliminated this evening and checks into the Heartbreak Hotel. That's my prediction.

As the godfather of American pop music, Elvis would have loved last night's show. Elvis' fans were the most fanatical in history, and they are the bedrock that today's text-messaging 'Idol' fans are built on.

For the most part, the contestants handled Presley's material very well. Elvis has such a vast catalogue that every singer could find a song that played to his or her strengths.

Here's my quick take on what happened:

Katharine: I have been a big fan all season, but she's kind of losing it as the competition gets tighter and fiercer. I think she's lacking confidence, not to mention her heretofore great fashion sense. That dress did her a disservice. She forgot lyrics, and Simon hung her out to dry when he said her first number sounded like a "desperate, manic audition." Her second attempt, 'Can't Help Falling in Love,' was the worst song of the night.

Katharine has a great voice, but she needs singing lessons. I'm serious. She can improve on her great talent, but not in time to win 'Idol.' She IS gorgeous, but if 'American Idol' is a talent show and not a beauty contest, which some of my readers stupidly accuse me of confusing (as the GAYEST editor ever, believe me, I know the difference), then she should be voted off tonight.

Taylor: Good but boring. As previously stated by me and affirmed by my pals at The Malcontent, Taylor is completely spastic. The spaz thing almost, but not quite, worked for 'Jailhouse Rock.'  He'll advance to next week, however.

Elliott: He is still the man. He is, as I've said, the underdog who will surprise everyone and be one of two finalists. His version of 'If I Can Dream' revealed emotion and depth that melted my heart, and yours too, I bet, unless you don't have one. Tommy Mottola said Elliott "is real." Simon said his first song was the best performance of the night, and called his second number, 'Trouble,' the "best performance ever." Enough said.

Chris: He did well. That's all I have to say about his singing, because
Chris OWNS all three of my Gayest 'Idol' Moments this Week.  Here's why:

Chris, the hunky, totally straight stud-muffin from North Carolina, is transforming into a metrosexual right before our very eyes. This is awesome. As a gay man, it makes me proud to see that our cultural influence reaches even to a married, wallet-chain wearing rocker from the Carolinas.

Check out Chris' gay moments, then you tell me.




1.The sunglasses. Chris, you spent like $300 on those. Are they Prada? Gucci? A gift from a fan?




2. Manscaping. Chris, Chris. You clipped your chest hair. Don't think I don't notice these things. That is so ... gay ...  and I mean that in a loving, positive-reinforcement way. Some athletes aside, straight guys don't shave their chests. Metrosexuals do, however. I'm glad you didn't shave your chest totally smooth. That's just wrong.


3. Boxer briefs. Chris, Chris, Chris. Thank you for assuring our suspicious minds that yes, you're a boxer brief man. Are you aware that WITHIN MINUTES of you announcing what was under your jeans, your name was added to the boxer brief entry on Wikipedia, forever linking you to these comfy underpants?

I'd like to know what brand you wear. If you're looking for something befitting an 'American Idol,' can I suggest a pair of these star-laden boxer briefs by my  No. 1 favorite underwear maker, Ginch Gonch? Click here to buy them.

Chris, I wear boxer briefs, too.  Could we hang out?

_____________________________________________

Postscript: May 11, 12:30 AM ET
Shocker -- Chris Booted Off!
Did Anyone on the Planet Predict Tonight's Outcome?

Gasps rang out in the diner where I watched Ryan Seacrest deliver the news, "Chris, you're going home."  Blogger Malcontent, always on top of these things, captured the moment on video: No one seemed more stunned than Chris himself. 

My take? This could actually be good for Chris' career. He wants to rock the house. That's not what 'Idol' is about. 'Idol' is about pop, something Chris struggled with all season. Chris can now leverage his newfound fame, immense fan base and music industry contacts -- and have the career he really wants.

Postscript: May 12: 
Don't think that looks and fashion factor into 'Idol'? Think again. Fashion editor Robin Givhan goes off on the vanilla factor at 'Idol'.
We Get the Idols We Deserve (Washington Post, Free Registration Required)

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DotNets and the Millennials Will Ring Wedding Bells for Gays

Meet the DotNets and the Millennials. Cute, aren't they?



No, the DotNets and the Millennials are not an alternative indie youth band. They're the generation of Americans born between 1985 and 2004, the very people who will likely make gay marriage a reality in all 50 states of our great country.

Columnist Deb Price has an encouraging piece in the Detroit News in which she describes how the DotNets and the Millennials, according to polls, trends and studies she cites, truly will not care if gay people get married. That's big.

"Look to the 21-year-old getting ready to enter law school, the 7-year-old zipping by on a Razor scooter and the 2-year-old doing her first spin around the playground in a convertible Cozy Coupe. Their generation will, I predict, have the final say over full marriage equality for those of us who're gay -- and they'll give it an enthusiastic thumbs-up," writes Price.

One scholar at the University of Maryland's youth think tank, the Center for Information & Research on Civic Learning & Engagement (CIRCLE) says, "This youngest generation is very tolerant, a very large group, and they have turned around the voting decline in the first election in which they could vote. If you put all that together, it spells a huge change in gay rights -- and one not very far off."

Meanwhile, don't sit around and wait for the DotNets to age to critical mass. Our government is right now trying, once again, to amend the U.S. Constitution to ban gay marriage. NGLTF has an easy way to voice your displeasure to the deciders-in-power if you want to get involved. Check out Defeat the Federal Marriage Amendment.

Do you agree with me that you'll see legal gay marriage in all 50 states in your lifetime?

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Gay Boyfriends: Paris Hilton Wants One, Tom Cruise Needs One

Paris Hilton, that doyenne of international glamour, made a shocking confession to Out magazine, according to Pink News: "I want a gay boyfriend."

"Gay guys are more fun and they dress better and they're usually hotter."

I have three things to say about that, Paris:

1) Duh. 

2) Pick up a copy of my friend Dave Singleton's book, 'Behind Every Great Woman There's a Fabulous Gay Man.' According to Dave, "Without gay men, who's going to make sure you don't end up marrying a loser, spending all your money on crappy home decor, looking like a reject from a bad 80s hair band, and spending the next fifty years entrenched in the core belief that losing those last five pounds will really change your life?"

So I guess, yes, it would be good if you got one. 

3) Tell you what: I'll trade you my totally hot husband in exchange for some time with your former beau, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos. He what? Stavros dated Mary-Kate Olsen before you? Never mind.


As Long as We're Going There ... You Will Agree that

Tom Cruise

Needs a Gay Boyfriend

When You See Him Dance (YouTube)

 

 

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'Will & Grace': How Far Have We Really Come?

'Will & Grace' will air its final episode in two weeks, ending its eight-year run.

I don't care. Call it gay blasphemy, but it's true.

I get asked questions about the program a lot of late. I could write about how it did or did not open doors for more gay TV. I could opine about how the characters have become caricatures of gay caricatures. I could rant about how the show stopped being funny two years ago. I won't.

What bothers me most about 'Will and Grace' and makes me seriously doubt the supposed impact the show has had on our culture is this: Sean Hayes, aka Jack, still won't say if he's gay or straight.

That negates the weight of any good that the show has done in bringing gays into living rooms across America.

I'm specifically not outing Sean Hayes. While most people who care to think about it have their own opinion about his sexuality, it really doesn't matter what team he plays for. What matters is that the actor who portrays the most flaming gay guy on TV is not comfortable saying if he's gay or straight. He refuses to address it.

Don't lay arguments on me about his personal privacy. Sean Hayes' personal don't-ask, don't-tell policy says three very important things:

1) It's still not OK to be an openly gay actor in Hollywood. Name one BIG ACTOR who's out and on TV in a leading role. There aren't any.

2) Sissyphobia is alive and well. If Sean Hayes played Will -- a handsome, if vanilla, run-of-the-mill, Land Rover-driving, successful gay attorney who can't get laid -- I bet he might feel differently about being public about who he is in real life. But because Jack is a huge sissy, Hayes doesn't want to be forever branded one. Even though he will be.

3) Sorry to say it, but Sean Hayes is a coward, and has learned nothing from the very scripts he's memorized for eight years.

In the end, for me, the show failed in making people feel like it's OK to be who they are, made gays look ridiculous, and in later seasons I found myself laughing at them, not with them.

I won't miss it.

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'American Idol': Paris Burned, Katharine Was Cold, Cupcakes Are Just Right

First of all, Elliott is still destined to win.

But before I get into all that, you should know that this blog may be the most important thing you read today. Newshounds reports that Fox, the "fair and balanced" news source, says that "35% of American voters think their votes for the next 'American Idol' are just as important as their votes for president of the United States." 

This explains so much.

Now, let's get on with the important news: THIS WEEK'S SHOW!

Last week I predicted Paris would be the next 'Idol' to get voted off. She was. It was time to say ta-ta to the squeaky-talking young mademoiselle with great pipes. She's got beaucoup spunk, but not as many fans as her 'Idol' rivals. Au revoir, Paree.

My man Elliott accompanied her to the elimination pit. I wasn't worried and I'm still not. He is definitely a strong contender to end up as one of the final two. He sounded brilliant all night. His selections of 'On Broadway' and Michael Bublé's 'Home' showcased his range and the purity of his voice. He's a W-I-N-N-E-R, winner!

As for the rest of the gang:

-- Taylor sounded solid, as he usually does, and he's genuine, but he's just too spastic to be an 'Idol.' He'll be out next.

-- Katharine had the worst performance of the night. 'Take a Look at Me Now' may have been about the worst song EVER performed by ANYONE in 'Idol's' top 12 in ANY season. During her number I could only look away, but I am taking a look at her now -- and seeing her slip-slide toward elimination.  Her second song was good, but you cannot suck as badly as she did this week and be the 'American Idol.'

-- Chris was able to be the rocker he is, which it turns out is kind of a screamer. I actually like him much better when he performs outside of his rock genre, like he did on gay cabaret night a couple of weeks ago. If Chris went gay, he'd be OK -- but he'd better rein it in if he wants to be himself in the final two with Elliot. I suggest a little more Mick Jagger and a lot less Scott Stapp for a variety of reasons.
 
The primary reason Chris needs to leave the Scott Stapp sound behind is because Stapp SUCKS -- secondarily, he yowls too much. Most Top 40 rock these days is about as exciting as a milk sandwich, and trying to liven it up for 'Idol' is like putting on deodorant without taking a shower: It can sorta work, but then the stink comes flying out anyway.  If Chris wanted to play to the gays AND the rockers, he could do some vintage Judas Priest and burn the house down.

Which brings me once again to this week's Gayest 'Idol' Moments:

1) Taylor and Ryan Lying on the Floor Side by Side, Elbows Touching: What was that cozy moment all about? Ryan is the most skilled move-maker ever. I honestly had the feeling that if 45 million people hadn't been watching, something could have happened between them that Taylor would have tried to explain away the next morning as having been caused by "too many beers."

2)  Paris as Diva-in-Training: The gays love their divas and Paris has it in her to be one. She Mary-J-Bliged her way into the hearts of gay men big time this week. Keep your eye out for her -- as soon as she graduates from high school.

3) 'American Idol' Cupcakes: OK, these weren't on the show, but they totally are THE GAYEST thing about 'American Idol' this week. They're highly creative, slightly bitchy, and no one else has thought to do them. Kudos to blogger televisionism for taking 'Idol' to an even higher art form than we thought possible: the cupcake.

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Athletic Supporters

Alert the scientists: I exposed my hunky straight boyfriend (HSB) to his first "gay event" and, lo and behold, we had a baby. Immaculately conceived, of course.

It's true. I took HSB to a sexy gay fashion show. We brought a photographer. I got HSB to appreciate the male form and all its beauty, plus one brave lesbian, and from that we gave birth to this collection of sexy photos: Athletic Supporters.

We hand-picked these shots for you and sassed out the copy together. Yes, straight guys can be cool.

Some background on the offspring from this unnatural union: Team DC is an awesome group that supports and promotes gay athletes in the Washington, D.C., area. They needed to raise a little cash to make sure that their members looked as fabulous as possible at the Gay Games and World Outgames this summer -- so Team DC held a combo fashion show and auction, using real live, really gay athletes as models, and clothing donated by friendly businesses, including the District's own Leather Rack and Universal Gear. Winning bidders were occasionally allowed to remove the clothing right off the models' bodies. YES.

The evening was emceed by the bawdy, bodacious Barbara Bush ... But I've already given away too much.



My orders to you all: Click, Drool, Repeat -- and check in next week for Athletic Supporters II: The UNDERWEAR GALLERY.

 

New Blog, New Book, by the Author of 'Running With Scissors'

Augusten Burroughs, the bitingly entertaining writer, has turned his talents toward the Internet with the launch of a new blog. Based on his debut, I could be worried, but I'm not.

His first two posts are about a cave he'd like to live in and his defecating dog, respectively. Burroughs is a gifted enough writer that he could turn either of these into a New Yorker-worthy essay, but they're not quite at first-draft material in this format.

Jet planes do not jump straight into the air. They've got to taxi onto the runway first, and I'm glad to give one of my favorite authors some room to take-off.  Burroughs has made the jump from high-school dropout to advertising coypwriting and onto the best-seller lists -- so I'm confident he'll get this format, too. It's just going to take a little time. But once he gets it, we'll know it.

Burroughs also has a new book coming out today, 'Possible Side Effects.' You can dowload a chapter for free on his gorgeous Website, Augusten.com.

It looks like this new book could be another winner. It's passages like this one that whet my appetite:

"Aren't you precious?" the flight attendant said.
I smiled because I loved the name, precious. It reminded me of precious stones like rubies and emeralds and diamonds. And even semiprecious stones, like onyx, which was the black stone men wore, and the ugliest of all.

Very Burroughs. I can't wait to read it, and I can't wait until his blog moves from semiprecious to precious.

Links of Note Today:

· 'The View' to Rosie O'Donnell: Femme It Up (Feministing.com)
· Dynasty Reunion: Cat Fights and Caviar (Tonight!) (AOL TV)
· Leonardo DiCaprio: A Straight Man's Fantasy in Frosting (Queerty)
· Worst Dance Songs of All Time (Joe.My.God.)
· Military News: Bi-Curious Now Eligible to Serve

 

Bra Size: 70-Miles, Long

One of my favorite Phyllis Diller jokes was the one where she discloses her bra size, "34, Long," but a group of women (with some guys helping) in Cyprus have her beat by 70 miles with the world-record-breaking chain of bras they formed today to raise awareness about breast cancer. It took 114,782 bras to "shove Singapore, which had held the record since 2003 with 79,000 bras, off the top spot in the Guinness Book of World Records," according to Reuters.



Breast cancer is no laughing matter. It kills 400,000 women each year. Early detection saves lives, however lesbians are a high-risk group among women who contract the disease, in part because they are less likely to have regular screenings done because of homophobia and discrimination in the medical profession. Organizations like The Mautner Project in Washington, D.C., do important work in educating health care workers about their lesbian patients, as well as reaching out to and supporting women about their health.

Thanks go out to the women of Cyprus who got some air time for this subject today.
Bottom line: Get screened!

Story: Women Break Bra World Record With 70-Mile Chain
Resources: The Mautner Project

In Other (Sorta Weird) Breast News:

Feministing.com (becoming one of my daily must-reads) has a story today about a new-ish radio personality they are calling "The New Howard Stern. With t*ts." And it's not a compliment.

Feministing cites that "The Radio Chick," who purportedly is "Built Like a Woman. Thinks Like a Man," is totally offensive, tackling such topics as how to cheat on your wife and not get caught, as well as "Gay for a Grand, The Wheel of Wife Beaters, and The Flaming Stripper BBQ."

Great. I'm so glad there's another DJ in town whose schtick is essentially "like Howard Stern, but different" in a new and different way.