Self-Love-a-Thon Hits London, TV

Editor's Note: Reading this may or may not make you blind.



On August 5, whole bunches of people will gather in a hall in London and go to town doing the wango tango. I'm talking about spanking the monkey and petting the petunia. Yes, I'm talking about m-a-s-t-u-r-b-a-t-i-o-n.

I've always said there are two kinds of people: Those who masturbate and those who lie. Now, the aforementioned group and their lying friends are invited to participate in the Masturbate-a-Thon. This is a real event, I'm not making it up. It's an eight-hour self-love-a-thon which "seeks to raise awareness of, and dispel the shame and taboos that persist around, this most commonplace, natural and safe form of sexual activity."

The event was originallly conceived by the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco, which produced the first public event six years ago, and another earlier this year.

Like its American inspiration did, the UK event will raise money for charity. People will seek donations from their friends -- and co-workers and family, of course -- to sponsor them for each minute that they you-know-what. Funds raised will be donated to two organizations in the U.K. that work in sexual and reproductive health, and HIV/AIDS.

This might be the most fun charity work one could ever imagine -- helping others while doing something that also benefits oneself.

People can choose to be in rooms that are all women, all men or mixed. Touching others is basically not allowed. Each participant is assigned a monitor who, organizers say, are not voyeurs and are embarrassed by nothing. I guess it could go without saying that little to nothing can embarrass the self-love-lovin' participants either.

Participants can elect to be considered for the prize for most orgasms. How exactly does one judge women here? If I knew, I might be disqualified as the editor of this blog. But it is my understanding that straight guys can't always tell either. Do women know when other women are faking? (Note: I asked one of my resident lesbian experts who feigned that SHE can always tell but agreed to pose the question to a huge tribe of women here).

One other fun fact: A documentary is being made of the event (and the organizing leading up to it) -- and it will be shown on British television. Channel 4 editor Andrew MacKenzie said that the film is in keeping with their "provocative and mischievous" programming in the same vein as their 'Penis Week.'

Is it just me, or does British TV sound way more fun than ours? Given the choice between watching their 'Penis Week' or our 'Shark Week,' I'd say we're getting the short end of the stick on this side of the pond. And no, 'Big Brother' does not count as a 'Penis Week.'

I never did buy the warning that "every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."  I'm more of the school of that Luther Ingram mega hit, "If Loving Me Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right.' Or something like that.

 

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ALSO: Play a Trick With Paris Hilton, Fun with 'Project Runway,' and Jake Gyllenhall Gay? You Wish

 

'Runway' Goes to the Dogs This Week

Editor's Note: I'm still on vacation, but how could I not watch and write about 'Project Runway'? Thanks to Jeff for holding down the fort this week.  See you next week. -- Kenneth

Last night's 'Project Runway' was a romp in the park. The dog park that is. And just like in every dog-park-U.S.A., it was full of people you want to talk to, and those you say Hi to only because your dog won't stop sniffing their dog's bottom.

Enter Angela Keslar. What in Rin Tin Tin's name are the judges thinking??? Once again, Heidi, Nina and company said goodbye to someone who was good and let Angela stay. Why? Angela is annoying and her design was a joke. It looked like she bought the top at Ross Dress for Less and "matched" it (I'm being generous) with a skirt from the 50 percent off bin in a Victoria's Secret knock-off-store. It was butt-ugly. Please judges, I'm begging you: Tell her she's OUT.

This week's assignment was to create an outfit for a lady and her dog, with the dogs serving as inspiration for the kind of lady who would  supposedly own said pooch. Judges wanted people to come up with stories about who each contestant's theroetical lady was, which seemed awfully contrived to me. Although Robert Best had one of the best lines, "My dog belongs to a Park Avenue princess who's just checked into rehab," I agreed with him when he said, "I have a thing about stories: I think they're stupid."

Still, the challenge set up a good test of talent and determination (or lack of it.) Uli and Michael did the best job, creating stunning dresses that, yes, told a story. And their dogs got to wear stuff that they probably would not die from embarrassment being seen in,  unlike most clothes for dogs.

The two drama queens of the night were, of course, men.

  

Keith is so full of conceit that he basically ignored the dog outfit part of his assignment (read: he did nothing for the dog) because he just didn't feel like doing it. Can his design skills, which are razor sharp, keep him invincibly moving forward each week despite his lack of respect for the rules of the runway? Although Keith is turning out to be an ass, I did laugh at the way he referred to Laura as "bad mommy." I foresee more confrontations for these two hard heads.

Bradley was the other drama-mama of the evening. Is it just me or does he look like he's just come from living in his car? Even Tim Gunn tip-toed to the edge of advice -- he's not supposed to give any -- and told the homeless-looking scruff that he should think about starting his dress over since, according to Tim, "If it's not pretty, it doesn't matter."  Bradley should thank his lucky stars that it was his birthday; that's the only reason I can think that Nina Garcia heaped praise over his final design. She loved it's "volume". Huh?

All in all, I thought this episode lacked the punch of the previous two this season. But what I and the six gay men who joined me for the show really wanted to know was: do we need to put out an APB for Michael Kors? Where is he? Was he "disappeared" and Heidi hoped no one noticed?

EW cast the same Kors-question out this week in their intro to an enlightening and delightful interview with Katherine who talks about how she feels about getting kicked off.

I have the feeling things are going to get interesting again next week. Someone is asked to leave? Uh-mah-gawd!

'Project Runway': Official Site (Bravo)

 

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Straighten Out!

In case you have just either stumbled on this blog today or have the short-term memory of a stoner gnat, I'm Jeff, I'm straight, and I'm subbing for Kenny on this blog while he's on vacation.

We write a column together called Straighten Out! and if you haven't heard of it already, shame on you. Although you probably have a lot of company...

I might not be as forgetful as a stoner gnat but I've got an attention span like a caffeinated fruit fly, so can you believe the personals ads on Craigslist? Millions of people meet and mate on there every day, and the ads themselves are like this sample of the human psyche laid bare in black, white and purple.

"Jeepers," you ask, "did you and Kenny talk about the Craigslist Personals in Straighten Out this week?"

Do the Tin Man's elbows rust? Does peanut butter go with chocolate? Like rust and delicious flavors, me and Kenny are forces of freaking NATURE. So click on over to Straighten Out and check us out. If you really like us, leave a comment -- but if you LOVE us, send some screaming hate-mail. That stuff cracks me up!

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Lance Bass: 'I'm Gay'

Again from Jeff: A breathless bugler blew through the streets of Provincetown at dawn, playing a tune whose meaning brings joy to the hearts of all the gay vacationers: Another closeted celebrity has come out. Kenny had the following post in my in-box this morning:

As is often the case, he was out to friends and family. He was seen around town in places that could cause some to wonder. He poked his head out of the closet when seen earlier this summer having fun in gay bars in Provincetown with 'Amazing Race' star Reichen Lehmkuhl.

Now, Lance Bass has made it official. On newsstands this Friday, PEOPLE Magazine will feature an exlusive interview with the former *NSYNC boy band babe.

On why he waited so long, Lance cites concerns for the livelihood of himself and his bandmates. He says now, it was just time:

"The thing is, I’m not ashamed – that’s the one thing I want to say," he explains of his decision to come out. "I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I’ve been my whole life. I'm just happy."

As for why he's talking about this now Bass says, "The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that (the rumors) really were starting to affect my daily life. Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."

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Tags: Lance Bass

Gay Night Hits Major League Home Run

The Gay Men's Chorus of Washington to Sing National Anthem at Major League Game

A note from Jeff:

As you may already know, Kenny's screenname is "GayestEditorEver." What you do not know is that the reason Kenny is called "GayestEditorEver" is because "GayestOverAchieverEver" was already taken and "FastidiousManiac" was all too real. He sent me the following blog post from the beaches of Provincetown sometime last night. When he does eventually meet the GayestOverAchieverEver, there's going to be a serious confrontation, 'Highlander'-style. There can be only one ...



From Kenny:

If you're in Washington, D.C., on August 8, consider joining a whole bunch of gay folk for a Washington Nationals baseball game. (They're playing the Florida Marlins, if that matters to you at all.)

Team DC is sponsoring the Night Out at the Nationals II, and AOL Gay and Lesbian along with Out@AOL (AOL's GLBT employee group) are both official partners for the event.

I went last year, and 1,100 of us had a total blast. One of the coolest things about this year's event is that the Gay Men's Chorus of Washington will be singing the national anthem at the start of the game. That's actually pretty huge.

Besides the all-American camaraderie, beer, nuts and foot-long hot dogs, there are plenty of visuals to make for an entertaining evening. God, I love sports:

     


Tickets, More Info

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Looking Sharp: 'Running With Scissors'

Hey there, faithful Worth Repeating readers. As promised, I'm the straight stand-in for Kenny's big gay blog while he and his husband whoop it up in Provincetown this week. I can guarantee that he's going to come home with a smile plastered on his face and a tan dark enough to suck in light particles and slow down time itself.

You may have heard some hollering here before about the works of Augusten Burroughs, with good reason. He's a tremendously significant author, widely renowned for dark humor, sharp storytelling and his ability to turn a life of addiction, abuse and turmoil into literary gold. All of Burroughs' work is highly recommended reading, but 'Running With Scissors' is his most infamous -- it's an autobiographical tale that tells of his life growing up with an insane (like eating candle wax insane) mother who sends him to live with her psychiatrist. Under the shrink's parentage, Augusten is regularly subjected to tremendous psychological, emotional and sexual abuse. It's hilarious. Seriously.

In a post-James-Frey era, I have to wonder how true any autiobiography really is. 'Running With Scissors' is at least true enough to spark an anti-defamation lawsuit from the psychiatrist's family.

Now the book's being made into a movie. You can see the trailer here. It looks like it's going to be a close spiritual cousin to 'Harold and Maude' -- and that's not a bad thing at all.

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Oprah a Lesbian? Oh Poo!

I'm a little worn out by all the media hoopla around whether Oprah is a lesbian. Rumors have circulated for umpteen years about the talk show queen and the true nature of her relationship with her best friend, Gayle.

I do find it interesting that no one ever uses the word bisexual when querying her sexuality. Bisexuals are so invisible.

I don't think Oprah is lesbian or bi, though. If she was, I think she'd tell us. This is a woman who lives her life on TV every single day. She holds nothing back from her adoring fans. The woman even talks about her own poop -- the shape of it, the frequency, and the ways in which she hopes to have even better poop in the future.

Besides the fact that she is a pioneer in bringing gay topics to national TV, my feeling is that if she's willing to talk about her poop, plus the endless minutae of other details about her all-powerful existence, I think she'd be cool saying she loves women.

Can't a girl just have a girlfriend anymore? Not everything means something.

 

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Tags: Oprah Winfrey, Gay

I Miss You Already

Photo: Peter Kazon

I will be on vacation in Provincetown with my husband all of next week. I am going to try to disconnect from my online life, although addiction really is such an insidious, nasty thing to battle.

In my absence, my straight boyfriend, writing partner and all-around great guy Jeff Simmermon is going to guest blog for me.



I've instructed him to "think gay" while I'm gone.

Be nice to him. Could anyone not love this little superhero in the making?

 

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'Project Runway' Cut the Wrong String

As Malan was getting his booty booted off 'Project Runway,' I regretted calling him creepy last week. Although he seems like a pretty unusual fella, I decided I kind of liked him. Yeah, the plucked eyebrows, mysterious (some say fake-sounding) accent, and air of superiority could be a bit off-putting, but he did three things that made him a much more sympathetic contestant:

1) He revealed vulnerability, including talking about his mother trashing his fashion drawings when he was a kid and telling him he'd never amount to ANYTHING (my heart did go out to that young little gay boy!);

2) He's got guts and took full credit/blame for his inappropriate (but still lovely) design, telling the judges that if it came down to kicking off him or his project partner, that he should be the one to go; and

3) He said he liked his fellow contestants and admitted that he has a hard time making friends.

He exhibited some admirable and honest qualities that made me think: I could have coffee with this guy.

When Heidi announced Malan as this week's loser, I accidentally screamed. I could not believe he got booted -- and that the train wreck that is Vincent and Angela were kept on. Were there ever two people who deserved each other more? I was sure one or both of them would be off.

  

Angela was shown to be a whining, talentless leech who can't design her way out of a paper bag ("I don't draw"), and Vincent is in serious need of psychotherapy. What were the judges thinking?

Please, Nina Garcia: Cast your evil-as-Elle eye on one or both of these two. They must go!

'Project Runway': Official Site (Bravo)

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Protesting Death Penalty for Gays

Joe.My.God has a thoughtful roundup of yesterday's demonstrations protesting the ongoing executions of gay men in Iran. The protests were held on the one-year anniversary of a well-publicized hanging of two teenage boys.

Iranian Mission Vigil: Moving/Frustrating (Joe.My.God.)

Photo of Artist Jason Rondinelli

 

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Tags: Death Penalty, Gay Politics

Please, Tom Cruise: Don't Come Out!

TiVo Alert: Comedy Central Re-Airs Infamous 'South Park' Episode, Wed., July 19



'South Park's' most famous episode ever, 'Trapped in the Closet,' is coming out for some air on Comedy Central, Wed., July 19.  It hasn't been seen on television since it first ran.

You may recall the drama that ensued a few months ago when Tom Cruise allegedly threatened to pickup his 'Mission: Impossible III' marbles and not play nice (read: refuse to promote the zillion-dollar flick) if Paramount/Comedy Central parent company Viacom allowed the 'Trapped in the Closet' episode to run in Comedy Central's usual rerun rotation.

I guess Cruise may have thought repeated airings of the animated episode in which John Travolta, Nicole Kidman and others try to -- literally -- coax Tom out of a closet, might hurt the movie. Tom probably shouldn't have really worried, though. Since 'M:I:3' was a piece of crap all by itself, pulling in only $133 million in the U.S., the gay cartoon probably wouldn't have done too much damage.

Now, the episode has been nominated for an Emmy (it was the sole episode that 'Park' creators submitted for consideration, ha!) and will be included on an upcoming 'South Park' DVD -- another thing that Tom was reportedly hoping to get killed.

We should all feel a debt of gratitude to 'South Park' creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker, who are completely fearless in saying things or tackling topics that are taboo to just about everyone else. And why are these guys that way? Because they aren't afraid to quit or get fired. Of course they've become filthy rich from making one of TV's most well-known animated shows ever, which gives them the luxury of being able to say f-you and walk away when the suits try to keep them from being the artists they want to be, but a lot of other filthy rich people don't have the same courage of their convictions.

At the same time, who could blame Matt and Trey for being tired of the Tom Cruise story incessantly following them around? The guys told an industry crowd earlier this week:

"Every time we're in a headline, it's like, Tom Cruise and then us in a headline, you start to get that Tom Cruise stink on you."

That would kind of stink, wouldn't it.

Note that the re-airing of this show will not likely be any more successful in coaxing Cruise out of any alleged closet than the first one was. And frankly, I hope it doesn't. I don't want Tom Cruise to be gay. I don't want him in the club. I don't want Tom Cruise to get the complimentary coming-out toaster oven. Please, Tom, be straight! The gay community really doesn't deserve you; we have enough problems already.

Official Site: 'South Park' (Comedy Central)

Can't wait to see it on TV? See Nicole coaxing Tom in a one-minute highlight:

 

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Tags: Tom Cruise, South Park, Gay

 

Darren Hayes Is Truly, Madly, Deeply GAY

Savage Garden guy Darren Hayes came out on his Web site yesterday, a month after he and boyfriend Richard Cullen were married London.

Hard to believe it was eight years ago that 'Truly, Madly, Deeply' was at the top of the charts. Although Hayes doesn't seem to be as much in the spotlight since breaking off to pursue a solo career, it's great that he has taken the step to let the world know he's gay.

"As so many of you have given me your heart and soul over the past 10 years I thought it only fitting that I too return the respect and inform you of the most significant event in my life.

On June 19th 2006 I married my boyfriend of two years, Richard, in a Civil Partnership ceremony in London.

I can honestly say it was the happiest day of my life.

I feel lucky to live in an era where my relationship can be considered legally legitimate and I commend the UK Government for embracing this very basic Civil Liberty."

Congrats to the happy couple and the now openly gay Hayes.

 

Did Anderson Cooper Dominate Bears in the '70s?

OK, it's not what you think. I'm talking circus bears, not THOSE kinds of bears.

Take a look at an A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E 8 or 9-year-old Anderson Cooper in his first TV appearance. In the mid-'70s, an earnest-as-all-get-out and slightly overly serious young Anderson tries to pass himself off as a circus bear trainer in a stint on 'To Tell the Truth.'

My question is this: Did his mom, heiress Gloria Vanderbilt, give him her permission to wear her fur hat that day?

Kinda makes you want to read Dispatches from the Edge, doesn't it.

'Late Show With David Letterman': Click Screen to Watch Clip

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Tags: Anderson Cooper, Gay

Gay Games VII Opens With a Whimper

From the accounts so far, it sounds like I would feel the same way about watching the opening of the Gay Games as I do about watching most spectator sports: NEXT!

"The opening ceremonies of Gay Games VII began with heat and ended 41/2 hours later with fireworks. Sandwiched in between was a program befitting of the Windy City: countless political speeches with the type of hot-air rhetoric that some say gave Chicago that nickname in the first place...

A chorus ended the night with a beautiful performance of 'I Sing the Body Electric' (from the movie musical 'Fame'). The crowds had thinned out. It was a treat for the few determined souls who made it to the bitter end of a ceremony that seemed more like a disjointed and ill-organized ordeal than a celebration."

-- The Chicago Sun Times

As with other favorites pastimes of mine, it's way more fun to play than it is to watch, which is why I know that the Gay Games will be a huge success. Despite a dreary opening night with too many speeches, the Gay Games aren't about that: They're about the athletes. I have no doubt the 12,000 or so people who registered to compete in everything from darts to synchronized swimming (yes, for real), will have the time of their life and feel the wonderful sense of pride and accomplishment that comes from giving it your all -- or, from the Kenneth-Hill-School-of-Athletics, at least showing up. It's half the battle, right?

The guys at OutSports have all kinds of great daily coverage, including this photo set:

The Competition Starts: Click to See Gallery

 

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Tags: Gay Games

Christianity, Bisexual Affairs & the Scoop on the Clooney Kiss

This Week's Reader Mail

Time for reader mail again. In this week's Straighten Out mailbag, straight-guy Jeff and I take on:

-- Jeff's Clooney Kiss: The Real Story Revealed

-- Christianity's big gay PR problem

-- Is Jeff just gay-friendly for pay?

-- What one "Grace" should do when her "Will" is an a**hole

-- Can you be friends with a married guy you had an affair with?


   If you want the answers, you have to click: Straighten Out

 

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Cool and Refreshing ... Like Lava

It's so hot out today, I thought some swimming photos might cool me off. But these galleries seem to do just the opposite:

See Photos: Aaron Peirsol




See Photos: Natalie Coughlin

 

Bonus Gallery: Michael Phelps

 

 

Lance Bass Fishing -- A Good Summer Sport

The troops are starting to rally about if and when former 'NSync-er Lance Bass is going to come out.

I haven't slept with the guy so I cannot vouch for him one way or the other, but Lance has been spotted in gay hotspots in Provincetown and elsewhere with former 'Amazing Race' star Reichen Lehmkuhl. Perez Hilton has had a field day with this for some time, and now more and more gays are calling for Lance to get with the program.

OutSports jock Cyd Zeigler, who saw Lance and Reichen up close and personal, is one:

"The mainstream press won't touch that one because he hasn't held a press conference at The Abbey to declare he's gay. Blogs and Web sites have been tossing around the rumor for a while, especially with the number of times he's been seen in public with Reichen Lehmkuhl. But, because he hasn't called a press conference, 'upstanding' reporters just won't touch it ... Well, as far as I'm concerned, he's out. He has made a public statement. In Provincetown this past weekend, I saw him with Reichen and some other super-gay friends at the Atlantic House. The A-House is a gay bar. In fact, the last straight person to step foot in there was Anderson Cooper."

Andy Towle over at Towleroad had a similar sighting on his recent P-Town vacation (also good reading):

"And yes, that other alleged power couple Reichen Lehmkuhl and Lance Bass were continually spotted around town. I saw them twice (as did others) at the Atlantic House (A-House) bar. A stroke of serendipity placed them next to me in a line for the men's room where Reichen introduced me to Lance. We had a brief conversation, but I can't confirm or deny the status of their relationship (which some, in the comments to this post, say was a bit rocky). What I can say was that every time I saw Lance he was well-tucked under the shadowy mask of a baseball cap, and Reichen was extremely polite."

Now, the mainstream press has picked up on the hullabaloo in the blogosphere (No Privacy for Lance Bass at the Gay Bar).

So what do you all think? Is it just a matter of time? If Lance parties gay, does that make him fair game?

Let's hear it, leave a comment here.

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'Project Runway': Better Than Ever

I know that writing a "gay take" on 'Project Runway' seems somewhat redundant, but like Heidi, I too am already on pins and needles about the show, so I really can't resist.

'Runway' burst onto the scene Wednesday night with more style, energy and excitement than you can shake a yardstick at. With two seasons of success under its Fendi belt, the show is attracting a greater level of talent than ever before, which will make season three the best -- and most competitive --  yet.

I'm so glad to be back with Tim Gunn every week. As I said last season, I love Tim because "he's an honest-to-goodness, old-fashioned homo, and we need more of them." His blog is a lot of fun, by the way, and so are the comments (but be careful if you don't like spoilers.)

It's always hard to sift through the initial couple of episodes when there's a full crew on deck. Although some of the names and faces blend together for me, I can't restrain my need to try to separate fashion's wheat from the chafe, I mean chaff. Here are a few initial impressions on the gang, with way more to come.


Most Annoying
Every season needs its Santino. Enter Malan Beton. He reeks of conceit, he's a little creepy, and I have the feeling he could get creepier. I guess that means he'll make it to the final three.

Woman to Watch Out For
At 43, Laura Bennett isn't about to let her lack of fashion design experience prevent her from giving these kids a run for their money. Her first assignment project was brilliant. Architecture is her first profession, the skills and talents of which she's now applying to clothing. She has five children, but looks like a million bucks. And she says she NEVER dresses down, because once you start it's a "slippery slope to sweat pants." So true. You've been warned: This isn't her first time at the rodeo.

Guy to Watch Out For
This is a toss up. Keith Michael had the balls to show up without a stitch of women's wear in his portfolio-- and yet he managed to make the show. You can tell this guy is driven, independent and talented. His work week-one was stunningly simple. But he'll have some stiff competition from underdog Michael Knight, the lone African American on the show whose initial hip hop look and feel made some wonder if he could design in the school of 'Project Runway.' Fast forward to the dress he crafted from coffee filters -- gorgeous! -- and it became quickly clear that he could be a contender.

Gayest Contestant
Kayne Gillespie definitely has some competition in this category, especially with Robert, Barbie Doll's personal clothing designer in the mix. But the fact that Kayne specializes in designing dresses for pageants and ballroom dancing, does so from Oklahoma, and spells his name K-A-Y-N-E, gives him first dibs on gayest, at least for the moment. He's sweet and affable, and his bio says that he "realized at a young age the importance of standing out."  I think that's supposed to be capital "O" Out.

Who Needs to Go Next
Vincent Libretti is a major goofball. That silly hat he designed from a silly basket with other crap on top reminded me of when Lucy and Ethel wore buckets on their heads in Paris because Ricky told them they were couture. Sorry pal, but you really should have thought twice before cashing in your 401(k) so you could do this. Is it too late to redeposit it?

 

More Links
See Listings, Clips, Boards (AOL TV)
'Project Runway': Official Site (Bravo)

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Transgender Scientist Exposes Sexism -- In Science

Want to know if women really have a harder time being accepted in the science profession (and elsewhere) than their male counterparts? Ask someone who knows first-hand.

The Washington Post today ran a truly fascinating and very enlightening story about Ben Barres, a 42-year-old scientist who until 1997 was biologically female. Barres talks about how completely differently he -- and his work -- are treated and accepted since he transitioned to living life as a man.

The stories he tells speak volumes about sexism and even misogyny women face in the workplace, even workplaces where the IQ is considerably higher than average.

"By far," Barres wrote, "the main difference I have noticed is that people who don't know I am transgendered treat me with much more respect" than when he was a woman. "I can even complete a whole sentence without being interrupted by a man."

The article explores whether or not men and women are in fact engineered differently, with men being better at some cognitive skills than women and vice versa. That may be true, but one psychologist interviewed for the story says that some of these differences may have more to do with "biases among adults in interpreting the same behavior in boys and girls."

It's today's most e-mailed article on WashingtonPost.com. If you read it, you too will send it 'round. It will make you think. It will make you mad.


Male Scientist Writes of Life as Female Scientist (Washington Post, Free Registration Required)

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Is Being Gay a PLUS at Work?

And: My Gay Life. My Gay Card.



Canada's Globe and Mail has an article out today about a major shift that has taken place in the corporate world: More and more, it's OK to be openly gay at work.  The article cites HRC's annual workplace report which documents that more than 50 percent of Fortune 500 companies now offer same-sex benefits to employees and their partners, and 86 percent include sexual orientation in their non-discrimination policies.

That's very cool, and I'm wondering:




EVEN MORE INTERESTING TO ME, however, and I'm not sure the Globe author realizes she was hitting on this, is that the article also touches on one of the great gay secrets of all time: The gay network.

"Through in-house activities at [Ernst & Young] and events [that Mr. Cole, the young 23 year-old interviewed for the article] attends with members of GLBT committees at other Bay Street firms, Mr. Cole has made business connections he would not have otherwise made as an entry-level staff accountant, says Bruce Goudy, a 44-year-old partner with the firm, and one of Mr. Cole's role models."

And why does this young gay guy get access to a much more senior executive? Because he's a card-carrying gay guy.

Isn't it true that your gay card gets you entree in the business world? Call it the gay mafia, call it family, call it what you will -- and I'm not talking about favoritism, anything illegal or sleeping your way to the top -- the fact is that we do help our own, and we always have. This is nothing new.

If everyone in the "real world" is connected via six degrees of separation, then in the gay world that gets cut down to about two. Want to get an interview at XYZ company? Work your gay contacts. What? The company you want to interview with is on the other side of the country and you know no one in that city? No problem. Someone you know has worked with, dined with or slept with someone there (or knows someone who has.) And, the gay man or lesbian across the country who works in that faraway company, whom you've never met before, will be more than happy to talk to you -- because you're family.

The same thing goes for house hunting, vacation tips and anything else where networking will help you acheive the results you need.

The gay card: Don't leave home without it.

Call me old-fashioned, but this is one benefit of being gay I hope never goes away.

Do you have any good stories about how the gay network helped you? Post it as a comment here.

 

Kiki and Herb Are ALIVE!

Like Barbra, and Cher before her, this fab duo has threatened us previously with a "farewell tour."  I was happy when Barbra and Cher made liars of themselves, and so it is with Kiki and Herb. 

Playbill has the scoop on dates and tickets for their Broadway show this summer. Also hear some clips on K&H's MySpace page, and get to know them better on their official site.

Whatever else you do this summer -- and if you don't mind peeing your pants in public -- don't miss the chance to see Kiki and Herb in concert.

WorldPride 2006 Controversy: The Shande & the Fury

Don't look now, but the meshugass over the future of WorldPride 2006 is reaching a fever pitch, threatening the week-long August event in Jerusalem on many levels.

Although they can agree about little else, a cabal of Jewish, Muslim and Christian religious leaders is working together in a virulently anti-gay effort to get the event canceled. They are making serious headway in gathering 100,000 online signatures to protest WorldPride.

Conservatives are also working simultaneously to get the event moved from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv. There have been some reports that the move may happen because of the united religious opposition, and to protect the Jerusalem public from possible violence that the pride parade and associated events might incite. (I guess no one cares if there's violence in Tel Aviv?)

In a touching display of Judaic love, New York Rabbi Yehuda Levin said that if gays do descend on Jerusalem for WorldPride, "I promise there's going to be bloodshed -- not just on that day, but for months afterward."

Nice, huh? I'm no balmalocha*, but I don't think that kind of thing is what's encouraged in the Torah, is it?

Meanwhile, 1,000 religious leaders from a variety of faiths have signed a statement in support of WorldPride saying, "Those who would come to Jerusalem to celebrate the diversity of the world we live in are imbued with the same spirit of God that those clergy preaching intolerance would claim belongs only to them."

Canceling or moving WorldPride would be wrong. My dear friend professor Chai Feldblum talks about why she's attending WorldPride, which is, among other things, to send a message in the holiest of all cities that gay, lesbian, bi and trans people are morally whole. I love theidea of taking back morality from religious zealots who think it's an exclusive club that only they get to belong to.

Check out what Chai has to say, then also see statements from other GLBT thinkers, movers and shakers linked below.  And if you can, think about getting yourself to WorldPride, too.

"Jerusalem.  What a meaningful place to hold WorldPride 2006. From a location so filled with moral history, the participants of WorldPride can send a message about the moral goodness inherent in our sexuality, in our sexual orientation, and in our gender.  Jerusalem is a unique and fitting place from which to send such a message.   For millennia, many people have used religious and moral beliefs to devalue and dehumanize those of us who do not conform to so-called sexual and gender norms.  In August 2006, we come to a city that is held sacred by three major world religions and say -- we are good, we are blessed, we are morally whole.  I feel excited to be part of such a celebration. 

Jerusalem.  What a site of pain, struggle and unrealized dreams. As a Jew, I feel deep pain coming to a country that has not yet achieved security for Israeli people or justice for Palestinian people.  As part of a balm, I hold on to the fact that Jerusalem Open House, the sponsoring organization for WorldPride 2006, is a model for the type of cooperation, respect and caring I yearn to see between Palestinians and Israelis in the future.  We are not there yet.

I care about changing the moral values discourse in my country, the United States, and across the world.  WorldPride 2006 gives us the opportunity to begin to change the rhetoric and the substance of the moral values discourse around sexuality and gender.  I look forward to being a part of this important event in Jerusalem in August 2006."

-- Chai Feldblum, www.moralvaluesproject.org

Why I'm Coming to WorldPride in Jerusalem
Thoughts from Evan Wolfson, Julie Dorf, Bishop Dr. Yvette Flunder and others

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* I'm not Jewish, but after 15+ years of celebrating Passover, Rosh Hashana and even Purim with Chai and our extended family, a guy is bound to pick up a little Yiddish, right? For those of  you who need a hint, see: Shande, meshugass, balmalocha.

Why We Love Kathy Griffin

If you want a good Tuesday titter, head over to the The Malcontent, the Web's most reliable source for daily video clips gays love.

Today's installment includes 13 delicious minutes from Kathy Griffin on 'Larry King' last night. She fills us in about divorcing her husband Matt. Turns out, he was ripping her off.

Of course Kathy, who says her boyfriend in high school is now a choreographer at DisneyWorld, talks quite a bit about her gays:

"My dream would be to have a marriage of convenience with an incredibly wealthy gay guy ... I'd look the other way while he bangs the pool boy and I'd go shopping."

Also included is a 'My Life on the D-List' clip in which she hysterically recounts the moment she encountered a gay serviceman during her visit to Afghanistan to entertain the troops. It's worth the price of admission.

'Life on the Divorced List' (The Malcontent, With Matt & Robbie)

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I Am SUCH a Jock

A Fantasy in Photos

I know who won Wimbledon, and who won the World Cup. I've never felt so sporty.



Congrats to Amelie Mauresmo who walked off the court at Wimbledon a winner. Check out AfterEllen.com's roundup of Amelie's win, and the significance of her being an out lesbian in women's tennis. AfterEllen also pays tribute lesbian goddess Martina. Love them!

MEANWHILE, my head has been spinning with World Cup fever ...

Mark Simpson, possibly my favorite smartass gay thinker ever, says it was the sporno spirit that really made Italy the winner:

 

I'm keeping tabs on my straight pal, cool-dude-Bob, in his new job over at the World Championship Sports Network where he seems to have a keen eye for sexy, sweaty jocks -- AND has the generosity of spirit to send me links to help alleviate any potential moments of boredom in my workday ... because he knows I love sports, I mean.

Photos: The Final -- Italy Captures the Cup
Photos: France vs. Portugal: Viva Zizou!

 

My adored blogger-buddy Joe.My.God almost made me wet my pants with his ultra-jock account of HIS World Cup weekend, which even includes a vocabulary tickler:

"Over the last month I watched more soccer than in the previous 46 years of my life... For the Final, the Farmboyz, Vasco, David and I joined a extremely packed house at Chelsea's Gym Bar, arriving at the unholy hour of 1:30pm. I was already hungover and sleep deprived from the previous night, in which the Farmboyz and I visited the East Village's Boys' Room, the twink bar to end all twink bars, where we squicked out the young smooth baby fags with our creepy elderly hairiness." Keep Reading...

And finally, the men of Queerty don't fail to entertain by riding the fine line between reporting and smut:




God, I love SPORTS, but now that World Cup is over, this blog will get back to more cerebral topics, I'm sure.

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'The Devil Wears Prada': One Stomach Flu Away from Perfect

 

If you can run in heels, do so as fast as you possibly can to see 'The Devil Wears Prada.' I'm billing it The Most Fun Movie of the Summer.

Somebody (I think USA Today?) said the audience for this film is 79% women. If that's true, the remainder breaks down like this: 18% gay men, 2% metrosexual/questioning, and 1% straight dudes who got dragged to the theater by a their wife/girlfriend. Read: This movie is very gay.

There's nothing gay on the surface, mind you. Even Stanley Tucci's Nigel -- almost a gay everyman in this film -- isn't that gay. (Actually he's very gay, but it's just so beside the point in the script. Brilliant!)

No, what's so deliciously homo about this movie is very old-fashioned: It's got style, attitude, and a bitch you love to hate and hate to love. It almost harkins back to Hollywood's Golden Age. Think Joan Crawford in 'Mildred Pierce,' or Bette Davis as Margo Channing in 'All About Eve.' Razor-sharp lines flow out of Meryl Streep's geniusly crafted Miranda Priestly like so much bling: "The details of your incompetence do not interest me." 

Every gay man worth his Manolos-for-men has a favorite line uttered by Norma Shearer, Joan Fontaine, Roz Russell or, again, Joan Crawford, in George Cukor's iconic and beloved-by-the-gays 1939 masterpiece, 'The Women'. I predict that 'The Devil Wears Prada' could join the ranks. In 20 years, don't be surprised if gay men throw around lines like "I'm one stomach flu away from reaching my goal weight."

At least I hope so. If they do, it would mean that gay men haven't been completely, boringly mainstreamed. It would mean we still hold on to that certain je-ne-sais-quoi that makes us special. I saw 'The Devil Wears Prada' at the Gateway Cinema in Fort Lauderdale. The audience was at least 60% gay. Have you ever noticed how we laugh at stuff other people don't? There's just a nuance that we pick up on. A sense of irony mixed with camp surrounded by a feverish appreciation of women who aren't afraid to let people know this isn't their first time at the rodeo.

Meryl Streep is superb in this role. Very few actresses could imbue a character with so many horrid behaviors, while still revealing a vulnerability that makes viewers see that she's only human (dressed like a goddess.) Anne Hathaway is a likeable Cinderella you can't help root for, especially when she's up against Emily, the hysterically evil step-sister/colleague.

I know the film is a comedy/drama, but it also doesn't miss the chance to point a well-manicured finger at the twisted business that is fashion, plus women's body image issues, bad bosses and selfish ambition.

But mostly, it's a romp. A mad-dash ride with the top down, Hermès scarf blowing in the wind, dishing the dirt with your best girlfriend.

That's all.

'The Devil Wears Prada': Watch Clip | Get Showtimes

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Tags: The Devil Wears Prada, Meryl Streep, Movies

World Cup Hotties

What's more fun than watching German fans cry?

Seeing Italian fans get nekkid!

Click here for more World Cup Hotties 

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Why Can't Gays Marry in New York? Because We Make Horrible Parents

Story: New York Supreme Court Rules Against Gay Marriage



'We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal.' * 
-- Declaration of Independence

*New York Supreme Court: Unless you're gay or lesbian

It's the week of July Fourth, and Americans across this great land of ours have paused to celebrate the adoption of the Declaration of Independence, the document that eloquently and defiantly proclaims belief in "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

That sentiment and this week's patriotic celebrations strike me as more than a little ironic. Why? Because New York’s highest court today voted 4-2 to deny equal marriage rights to gay and lesbian couples.

What is shocking is the blatant homophobia and incredibly tired arguments in the written decision. (Read a PDF of the decision here.) It truly blows my mind that the court would have the guts, not to mention ignorance (malice?) to deny same-sex marriage based on their contention that kids need a mommy and a daddy. But that's what they did.

After citing a few of the "316 benefits" of marriage that straight people get to enjoy -- including "significant tax advantages," "rights to be treated as family members" for insurance benefits and health care decisions, and get this: "the symbolic benefit, or moral satisfaction, of seeing their relationships recognized by the State" -- the court goes on to put gay people in our place:

... We conclude, however, that there are at least two grounds that rationally support the limitation on marriage that the Legislature has enacted. Others have been advanced, but we will discuss only these two, both of which are derived from the undisputed assumption that marriage is important to the welfare of children.

First, the Legislature could rationally decide that, for the welfare of the children, is it more important to promote stability, and to avoid instability, in opposite-sex than in same-sex relationships. Heterosexual intercourse has a natural tendency to lead to the birth of children; homosexual intercourse does not. Despite the advances of science, it remains true that the vast majority of children are born as a result of a sexual relationship between a man and a woman, and the Legislature could find that this will continue to be true. The Legislature could also find that such relationships are all too often casual or temporary. It could find that an important function of marriage is to create more stability and permanence in the relationships that cause children to be born. It thus could choose to offer an inducement -- in the form of marriage and its attendant benefits -- to opposite-sex couples who make a solemn, long term commitment to each other.

The Legislature could find that this rationale for marriage does not apply with comparable force to same-sex couples. These couples can become parents by adoption, or by artificial insemination or other technological marvels, but they do not become parents as a result of accident or impulse ...

There is a second reason: The Legislature could believe that is it is better, other things being equal, for children to grow up with both a mother and a father. Intuition and experience suggest that a child benefits from having before his or her eyes, every day, living models of what a man and a woman are like. It is obvious that there are exceptions to this general rule -- some children who never know their fathers, or their mothers, do far better than some who grow up with parents of both sexes -- but the Legislature could find that the general rule will usually hold.

Did you get all that? The court doesn't want gays to marry because kids need a mommy and a daddy. It doesn't want gays to marry because straight people have sex/children the way God intended (?!): They're driven by "accident or impulse." First of all, that's incredibly insulting to straight people, and second, it makes no sense. The very fact that gay people have to work so hard to adopt or find alternate ways of giving birth should be evidence enough that, for those gay men and lesbians who choose to have children, they really want them. There's nothing accidental about our families. And there is no factual basis for their argument that kids of gay parents are any less well-adjusted or taken care of than those of hetero parents.

Don't even get me started about the straight divorce rate, the number of single-parent households, the incredibly high and outrageously under-prosecuted number of deadbeat straight dads who ignore their kids and underpay or never pay child support. Are these the families children of every hetero-headed household benefit so much from? "Having before his or her eyes, every day, living models of what a man and a woman are like." Sorry to burst your bubble, Judges, but if that's what you think America looks like, you're dreaming.

But why are we even having this discussion? Gay marriage is about the union of two people -- in and of itself. Why should child welfare be the central argument of the Court's decision -- especially when gay people become parents every single day, despite the fact that our relationships aren't recognized by the state?

This battle should be about equality. Nothing else. If the justices had any of the moral sense that they so self-righteously tried to express in this case, they would have decided that discrimination is wrong.

At least Chief Judge Judith Kaye stood up for the real meaning of the Declaration of Independence in her dissent: "Simply put, fundamental rights are fundamental rights. They are not defined in terms of who is entitled to exercise them."

More:
Two Top Courts Rule Against Gay Marriage (Washington Post, Free Registration Required)

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Tags: Gay Marriage, New York

Retirement Communities: Now With More Gay

Do You See Yourself in a Gay Retirement Community?

Seymour Sirota, 79, who moved to RainbowVision retirement community with his partner.

My friends and I often joke about life together in our gay golden years, which seem to get only slightly less surreal as they steadily inch their way toward us. We wax poetic about celebrating silver and golden wedding anniversaries, reminiscing about what the 70s were REALLY like, and listening to gays who pioneered the gayby boom brag about their grandchildren. Of course we'll look better than our straight senior counterparts thanks to good moisturizers.

We also talk about where this will all take place. Will we gravitate to our favorite vacation haunts of Provincetown, Palm Springs and Fort Lauderdale, or remain in our urban gayborhoods? Or, will we take part in a new retirement trend we used to only dream about: gay retirement communities. 

USA Today had a smart piece yesterday about gay retirement communities, with an emphasis on RainbowVision, one such gay and lesbian "village" located in Sante Fe. I have to commend USA Today since, once again, the way in which they write about gay topics is refreshingly natural. It's topical, but doesn't talk about the GLBT community in a marginalized or sensationalized way. Other mainstream media outlets could take a lesson here. Not only that, but they do a good job of pointing out some of the inequalities gays face (no Social Security survivor benefits, taxable inheritance events that real married people aren't subject to, etc.)

At RainbowVision, "residents can eat in El Centro's cafeteria, work out in the Billie Jean King Fitness Center & Spa, book a massage, take a yoga or Pilates class, soak in a hot tub, sign up for physical therapy and acupuncture, or treat themselves to facials.  There are art studios, meeting rooms, a lounge and cabaret. Assisted-living apartments on the top floor are an option when residents grow frail but don't want to leave."

It seems only natural that gay retirement communities would come to exist. For many people, they can serve as an important lifeline, a way to stay connected to people with whom they have something in common. They also can provide important medical care for GLBT patients who might not get what they need from mainstream healthcare because of homophobia or other factors.

I'm 100% for gay retirement communities sprouting up as a much-needed alternative for lots of gay men and lesbians. As for me ... I don't know exactly how I will feel about moving to such a place. On the one hand, having a cabaret onsite surrounded by my gay tribe sounds like it could be a fun, supportive and healthy environment. On the other, I kind of like living with gay and straight people around me -- you know, the way the world is supposed to be. And besides, who else is going to tell my straight friend that he should never ever wear those socks with that outfit?

What about you?

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