McGreevey: He Doesn't Speak For Me

Plus, News Just In: Congressman Mark Foley Resigns Amid Scandal



James McGreevey continues to ride the publicity machine for his new book. About to be named number three on the New York Times hardcover nonfiction list, 'The Confession' is McGreevey's tell-all story about his fall from grace as governor of New Jersey amid a scandal that included his coming out of the closet, leaving his wife, and being accused of all manner of improprieties.

I was neither entertained nor informed by his appearance on 'The Daily Show' last night. Jon Stewart went way too easy on him. As blogger Truthdig points out, about the most telling thing McGreevey said was that the closet taught him skills that easily transferred to politics. McGreevey called it out as the ability to create "perception." Other people might call it "lying." 

McGreevey tried to lob a bit of humor out at the beginning of 'The Daily Show' interview: "Why does the gay guy follow the masturbation piece?" That and the banter with Stewart about McGreevey's "first poll" (hee, hee, get it?) felt kind of awkward. McGreevey hasn't quite yet mastered gay wit.

In an uncharacteristic moment of lame comedy, Jon Stewart asked McGreevey this 'Seat of Heat' question: "Who will come out of the closet first: Hillary Clinton or Condi Rice?"

That kind of lazy homo-humor seems to be what most TV hosts are going for when it comes to James McGreevey. David Letterman is certainly in that camp. McGreevey stood Letterman up last night after promising to come on the show to read the 'Top 10 Book Chapter Titles' for the governor's book, which went like this:

10. The Day I Got Caught Governing Myself
9. How to Pretend to Like Girls for 47 Years
8. From Schwarzenegger to Pataki: Governors I'd Like to Oil Up
7. Another Confession: I Can't Resist Entemann's Pound Cake
6. At First I Just Thought I Was Bipartisan
5. The New Jersey Budget Crisis: What Would Judy Garland Do?
4. A Look at the Governor's Balls
3. Politicians Who Left a Bad Taste in My Mouth
2. How to Push Through a Bill -- or a Steve, or a Larry
1. Why I Don't Like Bush

Gee, I wonder why McGreevey didn't show? 

It's interesting to see the wide range of reaction to McGreevey and his book. I guess a lot of men relate to his story (I'm not one of them), as do women whose husbands left after coming out. Here's how the Washington Post reported on the turn-out at the author's D.C. book reading:

"And you think, Oh gawd. He's so slick, so self-promoting, so insincere .

Then you walk downstairs to the basement bookstore on Dupont Circle, and find about 80 people, most of them men, are waiting to meet Jim McGreevey, the 49-year-old former "gay governor" of New Jersey.

As it happens, McGreevey is not the only one here who knew he was gay but got married anyway."   (Read More at: 'Jim McGreevey's Night Out With His New Constituents')

Perhaps there is something to learn from Jim McGreevey to the extent that his life story is a cautionary tale about the trap of the closet door. But what bothers me, and other people I've talked to, is that there's an awful lot about this man that makes him anything but hero material. Worth Repeating blogger-favorite 'Proceed at Your Own Risk' says it well:

"As McGreevey jockeys for a return to political life with the support of Oprah and some sectors of the gay community one can only be impressed by how this man who has a long history of abusing power for political and personal gain now may be applying those same skills to abusing the power of coming out--once again for political and personal gain.

As a gay man who spent many years in the closet, I can say with confidence that cheating on your hospitalized wife in her home with an employee is not a manifestation of the closet, it's the behavior of a corrupt and immoral human being, straight or gay."

And that's I guess what bugs me. I think McGreevey is just plain bad PR for the gays. It's one thing to come out late in life and realize you need to leave your family. It happens. It's another thing to be forced out because of a lover who threatens to blow your cover as a public figure who exploited his powers at every turn. McGreevey came out because he felt trapped, felt he had no choice. Might he otherwise still be blowing guys in hotel rooms while his security detail waits outside?

And he deserves the growing adoration and attention of the public why?

I shared my bad-PR concern with one smart public relations executive this morning as we chatted by cell phone about various topics. My friend reminded me that the gay community isn't the Bank of America, meaning, we're just people, we aren't a corporation who hires Ogilvy Public Relations to get us good press. 

And my friend is right: Jim McGreevey is just a person, he's not representative of the gay community, and his misdeeds aren't mine.

Still, I can't shake this icky feeling that McGreevey is McCreeping toward a hero's welcome as the new spokesman for the gays. What in the heck for? Because he's a politician? No thanks. And double no-thanks for all the times he hides behind God as he rattles off his "sins," quickly followed by devotionals about his finding grace and staying true to Christ, etc., etc., etc.

I hope the bulb in his follow-spot burns out soon. Let's give him five to ten years as an everyday-gay and see if he really can contribute something worthwhile to our community. It's possible.

Meanwhile, and for the record, Jim McGreevey doesn't speak for me.

THIS JUST IN:
Will Rep. Mark Foley use McGreevey's PR firm to set-up appearances on Oprah, Leno and 'The View'? He resigned today amid allegations of an inappropriate gay obsession with a 16-year-old page on Capitol Hill.

"Maf54: What ya wearing?
Teen:  tshirt and shorts
Maf54: Love to slip them off of you."

I can't wait for the book.

 

 

 

Tags: James McGreevey, Gay, The Confession, Politics, Mark Foley

'Project Runway' Judges' Score: 'F'

Spoilers ahead for the episode that premiered Sept. 27



Last night's 'Project Runway' was a lesson in contradiction. The judges, and Nina Garcia specifically, asked the contestants to design a dress that conveyed a strong point of view.

But when it came to the judges doing their jobs -- conveying a point of view and voting someone off -- the judges failed us. They shirked their duty to eliminate. Instead, they decided to send all four remaining contestants to Olympus Fashion Week.

WTF?

What gives with the 'Runway'judges constantly changing the rules this season? In the previous episode, they brought back two losers and added them into the competition that night. Not fair.

Now, they think they can avoid this week's elimination? Sorry, that just doesn't work for me.

I can only surmise that the judges were at a loss as to what to do when Uli surfaced as the clear winner of the challenge, making it impossible to boot her. Frontrunner Michael delivered his worst dress yet, but they couldn't get rid of him since he's destined to win. Laura's dress was predictable but solid, so they kept her. Jeffrey's dress looked like, well, see my little conversation below to see what I thought of his creation.

Does 'Runway' think rules don't matter? That's not how life works. Did the referees at the Super Bowl decide to add a fifth quarter to the game as the Seahawks lost miserably to the Steelers? No, they played by the rules.

Do we change the rules when we're electing the president of the United States? And would any of us stand for judges in the highest court of the land voting in favor of questionable election rule changes, simply because they didn't like the apparent loser of said election? Um ...

OK, maybe that last one is a bad example. But the point is, 'Project Runway' needs to quit jerking us around. We tune in to see high-stakes, gut-wrenching, throat-slitting drama, culminating in a brutal, "You're out."

Nina, I thought you had juevos.
Michael, I thought you had balls.
Heidi, wo sind Ihre Hoden?

Bollocks! I don't want nice. I don't want rules broken. 'Project Runway' is supposed to hurt. Now make it hurt.

THE CONTESTANTS:

This morning I had an IM exchange about 'Runway' and Jeffrey, among other things, with one ofmy favorite blogger pals, Blog-Boy Chris Mottram. Here's an example of why, according to Details magazine and me, straight guys are having such a hard time these days:

CMottram04:  I know nothing about fashion, I just love the characters
CMottram04:  To that end, I thought Jeffrey's was the best last night
GayestEditorEver:  WHAT!? You can't be serious
CMottram04:  So I'm clearly stupid
GayestEditorEver:  Clearly. It looked like Snow White-as-Whore
CMottram04:  Exactly!
GayestEditorEver:  So, yeah, figures you would like it.
CMottram04: Yes!

******************************

Not a Loser, But Confuses Mustang Ranch With Disney World:

 

The Winner (sort of):

Not a Loser:

Not a Loser:

When no one loses, no one wins. 'Nuff said.

Newsflash: People Love Sex, Even the British

I know this sounds crazy, but our British friends across the pond aren't as uptight and prim as people make them out to be. They actually do like sex. Lots of sex. And, unlike their food, it isn't even bland.

News reports say that a British sex survey conducted in 1949 has surfaced after 57 years under the covers. The results were so shocking at the time they were gathered, that publication of the findings in national newspapers was cancelled.

Now, the research document is coming out of the closet, revealing such juicy tidbits as: 

· one in four men admitted to having sex with prostitutes

· one in five women confessed to extra-marital affairs

· revelations of public sex in the 1930s, including sex on the beach, in cinemas and dance halls

AND....

· one in five men had homosexual experiences.

No word on whether those one-in-five-men considered themselves gay, or if the group includes straight men who have sex with men, a topic which seems to be getting more and more press these days.

Scholars said it is noteworthy how "little our attitudes towards sex have changed" in some cases.

The survey showed that many respondants said they "pretended to be drunk so they could get away with sex on the beach." 

So I guess, yeah, not much has changed. Just look at this hysterical clip of two straight guys who let football and a little beer serve as the fuel needed to let them get their gay on.

Click to watch video: 'Gay Straight Guys' 

 

 

Does the Media Gay-Bait Celebrity Sissies?

It's been almost a week since Clay Aiken ripped Diane Sawyer a new one for dropping the Are-You-Gay bomb on 'Good Morning America.' (You can catch the video of it here.)

Since then, I've talked to friends and acquaintances about what happened, and I'm still not sure about what I think of Sawyer's question, or Clay's five-minute non-answer.  (Some say that his non-answer was the equivalent of "Yep, I'm gay.")

He's an entertainer, which in this day and age means he pretty much has no privacy. She's a reporter, so it's her job to investigate and report. But did she go too far? Was her question "rude," as Clay said, or doth the Clay protest too much -- and is he being naive thinking people shouldn't ask?

I am not for outing per se, but I am not against it, either. If some right-wing congressman votes against gays during the week, and then spends the weekends putting dollar bills in the socks of go-go boys at the local gay strip club, he's fair game.

On the other hand, if a performer isn't ready to divulge his or her sexuality, I don't think they owe it to anyone to do so. Entertainers have a legitimate concern about how coming out might affect their ability to make a living in their chosen profession. Just ask Rupert Everett, who writes in his new book that homophobia in Hollywood prevented him from landing star roles that went to straight men instead. Regardless of whether we like that or not, or whether people should play into it, right now, that's how it is.

As for Diane Sawyer, my question is, why Clay? Why now? Here's what I think: Clay is a sissy-boy, and sissies and butches are easy targets for the press. The Diane Sawyers of the world pick and choose which celebrities get put on the gay hot seat, and Sawyer saw the sissy factor as an open invitation.

Nathan Lane can tell you all about it. A big sissy if there ever was one, God love him, he was asked the gay question plenty of times before he finally decided to come out. He dodged the question until he was ready, and it took Matthew Shepard being murdered for him to get there.

But does the press pose the gay question to rumored-to-be-gay celebs like Tom Cruise, John Travolta or George Clooney -- to their faces? No, and it's because those guys aren't sissies. They are also big-name celebrities, and it would work against the media's own interests to alienate them with inappropriate personal questions, but traditional masculinity (or femininity, in the case of women) makes it easier for the media to avoid asking the gay question.

Poor Clay Aiken is neither powerful enough nor butch enough to be afforded such polite interviews. He was an ugly duckling, got cuter, and was then made over to within an inch of his life, which includes wearing too much make-up and sharing k.d. lang's hair. The joke was partly on him when 'American Idol' staged the meanest moment on TV ever. And just last week, Clay told Jay Leno, "I have to have everything very meticulous. Everything in the kitchen has to be blue." 

He's precious. That's fine, I love sissies. And so does the press.

Alert the Media: Pope Issues No Apology to Gays

In an almost unprecedented turn of events, the pope today gathered Muslim leaders and diplomats to his fabulously decorated summer home as an apology of sorts for remarks he made almost two weeks ago in which he referred to Mohammed and Islam as "evil and inhuman."

I say "of sorts" because, of course, he didn't come right out and, you know, say "I'm sorry." It was more like, "Why don't you stop by and let's all be friends?"

My question is, when will the gays be invited? Pope Benedict XVI has been equally accusatory of gays being an evil force, if not worse.

The pope, named 2005's Anti-Gay Person of the Year, has made gay men and lesbians one of the top targets of his papal career. Just four days prior to his anti-Islam gaffe, the pope told a group of Canadian bishops, "In the name of 'tolerance' your country has had to endure the folly of the redefinition of spouse, and in the name of 'freedom of choice' it is confronted with the daily destruction of unborn children."

He has said that "homosexual acts go against the natural moral law.”

Where is our gay outrage? When he attacked Islam, Muslims around the world rose up, protesting his statement at rallies and burning him in effigy. Should we be doing the same? At the very least, the team of men who design the pope's wardrobe should go on strike. Like they're not gay! And who does Benedict think dreams up the Prada shoes and Serengeti sunglasses he loves to sport?

Seriously though, if you think for a minute that the pope's words don't matter, think again. Blogger Doug Ireland posted an entry less than a month ago calling this past summer 'Italy's Summer of Anti-Gay Violence.'  This isn't a coincidence, people.

By casting gays as immoral, as people who are trying to undo the "sanctity of marriage," the pope uses a very powerful world microphone to, de facto, call open season on gay men and lesbians.

So, again, we can expect an apology when?

 

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Tags: Pope Benedict XVI, Gay

Best Gay Blogs Says ... I'm One

At the risk of seeming self-congratulatory, I want to thank BestGayBlogs.com for featuring a review of yours truly today on their site:

"[Worth Repeating] is truly a SANE, outspoken, honest blog that should not be missed by anyone. And it’s the way Kenneth mixes truth with good common sense that makes it worth reading daily."

 
There. It's been said: I'm sane, not insane, as has been suggested by so many.
 
Click here to read the whole review.

 

When Being Gay Is an Act of Terrorism

File this story: Things that really piss me off.

A piece in The New Yorker this week relates the story of a gay couple who caused a recent furor for public displays of affection on an American Airlines flight from Paris to New York.

One of the guys was dozing off and was resting his head on his partner's shoulder. They also had exchanged an on-flight kiss at some point.

After a flight attendent asked them to "stop touching each other," the guys started asking for name, rank and serial number of the airline staff who were harrassing them.

The situation escalated to the purser and even to the captain, both of whom threatened to, get this, divert the plane (to where? Fire Island?) if the men didn't fall into line:

Half an hour later, the purser returned, this time saying that some passengers had complained about Tsikhiseli and Varnier’s behavior earlier. The men asked more questions. Who had complained? (She couldn’t say.) Could they have the stewardess’s name, or employee number? (No.) Would the purser arrange for an American Airlines representative to meet them upon landing at J.F.K.? (Not possible.) Finally, the purser said that if they didn’t drop the matter the flight would be diverted. After that, Leisner said, “everyone shut up for a while.”

Maybe an hour later, the purser approached Tsikhiseli and said that the captain wanted to talk to him. Tsikhiseli went up to the galley and gave the captain his business card. The captain told Tsikhiseli that if they didn’t stop arguing with the crew he would indeed divert the plane. “I want you to go back to your seat and behave the rest of the flight, and we’ll see you in New York,” he said. Tsikhiseli returned to coach.

There are several reasons why this story is disturbing. The first is that it's a reminder that gays are still, in so many ways, every day, second-class citizens. 'Will and Grace' and Ellen and Rosie and Lance Bass and all the others aside, there is a homophobic force in straight society that doesn't want to see gay people as we really are -- meaning, just like them: people who kiss their loved ones and hold each other's hands. Straight people get to do that without a thought in the world as to who's watching.

Unfortunately, gay men and lesbians often do have to think about who's watching. And that's the second and more personal reason this story got my heart beating fast as I read down the page. It forced me to confront the internalized homophobia that I allow to enter my own thoughts each time I go to kiss my husband in public or hold his hand.

Yes, I am often affectionate with him in public, but I also stop myself from doing it more times than I care to admit. Why? Personal safety, I like to tell myself, but if I really examine it, there's a piece of me that's uncomfortable in that situation because I know holding hands walking down the street, or planting a lip-lock on my husband in public, isn't socially acceptable -- even though straight people do it all the time.  So I hold back.

That's not an easy thing to admit, seeing as how I'm supposed to be the Gayest Editor Ever, a professional homosexual since 1992, a gay urbanite, an activist, a guy who came out when he was 16, knew he was gay when he was in grade school. A guy who's been happily married to a great man for 18 years. A guy who prides himself on being "out to everyone." But it's true.

If there's a lesson in the story about American Airlines Flight 45, it's that we do have the right to be who we are, every day, in every way -- and we need to be, even if we have to fight for it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go kiss my husband. In public.

Oprah Sets Off Rosie's Gaydar

Is there a toaster oven in Oprah's future? Gay scholars and gossipmongers are racing to decode Rosie O'Donnell's quasi-outing yesterday of Oprah Winfrey and her BFF, Gayle King, on 'The View':

"They're always together but, you know, they're not lovers. But I think that's very typical of gay relationships -- not saying they're gay -- but you know, two women get together and after year-two, all you do is spoons ... You might be a little bit gay, you're just not doing it."

Let's see here:

1) She wasn't saying longtime gal-pals Oprah and Gayle are gay, but

2) They might be a little bit gay (because everyone is) though they probably don't have sex because

3) Oprah and Gayle suffer from lesbian bed death.


So, what WAS she saying?

Click to See 'Rosie's Gaydar' Video

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Tags: Oprah, Gayle King, Rosie O'Donnell, The View, Gay, Celebrities

James McGreevy McCreepy's Me Out

I don't even know what to say after having watched the coming out party Oprah hosted for James McGreevey and his book, 'The Confession,' yesterday.

Do I have any sympathy for this guy? To the extent that I can blame organized religion, the Catholic church and homophobia in general for screwing him up but good when he was a kid, yes. There's no question that the closet makes people crazy and they do weird things. To a certain point, I get it.

And yet, do I cringe as James McGreevey represents for my people in his media blitz to confess his big, fat gay sins and misdemeanors to all of America? You betcha.

I guess I could enumerate the ways in which he gives me the heebie-jeebies, but why bother when so many others have said such delicious and intestine-ripping things already?

I troll the Internet, so you don't have to. Behold the blogger bitch fest, my round-up of blog posts across the Web that tickled me, made me think, made me go, "Right on, sister!"

[Note to HRC: Please, PLEASE, PLEASE: Don't honor this guy.]

"I must ask: Is this good for the gays? I suppose time will tell. Our enemies will see promiscuity, incompetence, corruption, adultery, dishonesty, arrogance, and exploitation. Our friends will see the pain and suffering of the closet and the courage to come to terms with one's sins and misdeeds. Oprah will enjoy a huge bump in ratings. McGreevey's publisher will enjoy a huge Oprah-driven spike in book sales. And the gay community will be dragged through another episode of seedy, sleazy, shady dirt."
More at Is James McGreevey's The Confession Good For The Gays? -- Richard Rothstein at Blog Critics


"It's a sad state of affairs when you hype your memoir on Oprah and still can't get past 57 on Amazon's list seller list. Even the ultra-preppy, and surprisingly unlikable James Frey managed to convince the Oprah-ites that he was a washed out crack head."
More at Jim McGreevey's Gay New Book Sucks -- Metadish


"A good interviewer would have asked,'So what you're sayingis thatyou had the best sex of your life by committing adultery on your conjugal bed while your wife had just given birth prematurely to your daughter?' Rather than call him on his immorality, Oprah, moved by the honesty of it all, listened with tears in her eyes. You could almost hear Tchaikovsky's Theme from Romeo and Juliet in the background."
More at What Oprah didn't ask McGreevey -- Fausta's blog


"The absurdity is the fame, fortune and acceptance he's getting for his despicable, craven, cowardly and profoundly immoral behavior."
More at The Best Argument for Outing -- A Typical Joe


"Why must 'gay sex' be prefaced with the word 'shocking'? I don't get that, either. Now, I'm not gay. But I have love for all my gay brothers and sisters. So I'm gonna fight CNN on this one. After all, CNN wouldn't refer to heterosexual sex in that way, would it?"
More at CNN: America's Most Trusted Name in Gay Sex --  Shy Guy in NYC


"How To Make A Gay Role Model:
Step One: Find a gay man whose name has been in the news.
Step Two: Completely ignore the reasons why his name was in the news."
More at How To Make A Gay Role Model -- Postmodern Barney


"...this whole episode with Jim McGreevey just makes me sad. And as a 'gay American' I am sympathetic with those who are criticizing the Governor this week for using the gay issue. For [a] guy I thought was really concerned about poverty and education, the way he is selling his memoir just makes me want to take a shower."
More at Governor Jim McGreevey's Struggle with A Convenient Truth -- Hilary Rosen on Huffington Post


"The utter lack of emotion as he reads of 'a boastful, passionate, whispering, masculine kind of love' is the kind of audio you want to listen to alone, in a darkened room, with nothing but tissue and lotion. It's is followed by a sheepish eye roll, which is almost as priceless as the seven secondpause he takes before telling Oprah that making love to his wife 'was special.' Good to choose those banal words carefully, though we'd guess his wife would disagree.
More (plus video) at It's Like He's Reading It for the First Time -- Gawker

This one, by ex-trucker Squawkbox Noise, wins top honors for his brilliantly doctored illustrations, a couple of which are posted below.

"I have one rule in my life that I observe 'religiously'……I could care less what someone’s sexual preferences are or their 'conquests'. It just ain’t none of my business. However Ex-governor James McGreevey has opened himself up for scrutiny with the release of his new book and I am more than will to oblige."
More at James McGreevey Coming Out a Bit Too Much -- Squawkbox Noise

 

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Tags: Oprah, James McGreevey, The Confession, Gay, Politics

New, Free Music from Fergie, Clay A. and Elton

It's fall, and everyone and their bi-curious brother is dropping a new album. We've gathered together a few you might like over on G-Sides, the GLBT music space on AOL.

Click here to hear the new music from Fergie, Clay Aiken and Elton John. You can listen to the CDs in their entirety, totally free. 

Also check out this interview from queer-rights supporter Ani DiFranco, in which the New Orleans resident talks about how Hurricane Katrina influenced her new album.

Finally, if you have the stomach for it, look at these exclusive photos of Paris Hilton from her new music video due out this week, 'Nothing in this World.'

Although I have admitted to liking Paris' single, these photographs totally ick me out in a Debra LaFave kind of way. Paris: You're 25. The kid is like 12.

The video is a mock movie trailer based on 'The Girl Next Door.' Maybe it will all make sense when the video comes out, but for right now .... Ewww.

Screw Gay Marriage; Do You Look Like Cher?

Screw gay marriage. If ABC doesn't let drag queens onto their new show, 'The Imposter', a reality-TV show looking for the best celebrity impersonator out there ...

AND ...

If some fabulous drag queen/female impersonator doesn't win ...

THEN ...

We should ALL just move to Amsterdam because we will then know for sure that there is no justice in America.

Check out some of these legendary "imposters," each of whom not only looks the part, but sings with his own voice. The first link is about the performer himself, the second shows him in action.

Randy Roberts, seen here belting out Cher




Jim Bailey, as the incomparable Barbra Streisand




Richard Skipper, as Carol Channing




Finally, I was happy to find The Lancebian, a lesbian who channels the energy of *NSYNC's super gay, former boy-band member Lance Bass. I hope he sings, because you have to sing.

See the Lancebian in action in this movie trailer.

'The Laramie Project' Divides a School, Town

Last night, students and parents in Des Moines, Iowa gathered to testify before their local school board about the merits and problems assigned to moving forward with a proposed stage production of 'The Laramie Project' at a high school. Some parents have raised concerns about it not being age-appropriate for high school teens. Watch a video clip here to see what some of the attendees had to say at the hearing, especially one student speaker who particulary hits the nail on the head about why the show should and must go on.

This has happened elsewhere before and it always blows me away how a play whose message is tolerance, told via people speaking out about the real-life anti-gay murder of 21-year-old man, gets labeled as "innapropriate" for students. The main charge in Des Moines is that the play is too laden with violence and profanity.

That strikes me as ironic -- and a cop out -- given the popularity of violence and profanity in TV shows and movies, not to mention video games like 'Grand Theft Auto' and other M-rated games parents allow their teens to play.

It's OK for them to "play" at shooting and killing, or "play" at visiting prostitutes followed by beating them to death and stealing the money back. But hearing people use profanity on a stage while talking about the violent death of Matthew Sheperd who was killed for no other reason than the fact that he was different from the two hetero thugs who beat the crap out of him ... That's where they draw the line?

I would offer that staging 'The Laramie Project' is not only appropriate, but should become a staple for high school drama productions.

I can't help sharing this article I came across, 'The Gay Agenda Assaults a High School in Flyover Country.'  Although it's very fringe thinking, it indexes high in Google news search, making it morethan relevant to discuss.

The author, one Steve Bowers who says he runs a "one-man think tank" (hint: that may one of his problems right there), has some of the most homophobic nuggets I've come across in a while. Here are a few of his "best lines":

"The Gay Lobby has been exploiting the tragic death of Matthew Shepherd ever since it occured that night in Laramie in 1998."

"Project Laramie uses itself as a platform to label every single person in every single town in Wyoming as bigots and homophobes (a term that is as bogus as the term 'hate crime')."

"Ever hear about the death of a heterosexual white male being branded a 'hate crime'? Didn't think so. But because white male Matthew Shepherd preferred his sex anally with a male, his death is supposed to be worth more than another white male that prefers vaginal sex with a woman."

Nice, eh?

Thank God for the 100 students who want to audition for parts in 'The Laramie Project'. They give me hope, and today I need some.

Military Men Wed in Spain

The Towleroad blog has some nice coverage of two Spanish Air Force privates who were the first two same-sex members of Spain's military to be legally wed, complete with a ceremony performed by the mayor of Seville.

Andy Towle writes, "So here we have a country where gays are allowed to serve openly in the military and have full marriage rights. May it be a model for the world to follow."

Check out his write-up and collection of photos from the event.

Are Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl Award Worthy?

A big gay debate has been raging over the past week about whether or not Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl should be honored with a Visibility Award at the upcoming HRC National Dinner in Washington.

Longtime HRC supporter Randy Foster got the ball rolling with a Washington Blade guest editorial in which he explained why Bass/Lehmkuhl are not worthy of the honor. Foster starts off:

A FRIEND CALLED this week to ask, “Do we really have to go to the HRC Dinner? For Christ’s sake, they are honoring Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl!”

My first thought was it had to be a joke.

Foster lambasts Bass for publicly stating that the pop star has no interest in being a gay activist. About Lehmkuhl, the author says the 'Amazing Race' star is someone whose "greatest achievement since [his TV show] has been being photographed shirtless for countless gay publications."

Foster accuses HRC of honoring the pair not because they deserve it, but because their celebrity will help sell tickets and bring glamour to the organization's black-tie dinner, for which patrons (including Foster himself) pay $250 and up to attend.

HRC board member Mary Snider defended the organization's choice to honor the celebrity gay guys, writing in a letter to the editor that "HRC understands that there are many different ways to help fight ignorance and bigotry ... Lance and Reichen are just starting to speak out. We hope that they will do much more in the years ahead, using their unique status to raise awareness and open hearts and minds."

It's my opinion that one of the main problems in this particular instance is that a lot of people can't stand Lance and Reichen. If Denzel Washington had been dragged out of the closet (no, he's not gay), I rather doubt that HRC supporters would be complaining about him showing up for dinner and we wouldn't be having this discussion.

Boy-band-Lance isn't taken very seriously because, well, he was in a boy band, and he had some crazy notion about buying a flight into space, and he's only out because he was outed. Reichen, for whatever reason, turns a lot of gay men off. Perhaps HRC's biggest mistake was not anticipating those sentiments.

In HRC's defense, though, Lance and Reichen are this year's biggest gay celebrity story, even if the details and characters of the story don't exactly thrill everyone in the GLBT community.

Further, if HRC limited its Visibility Awards to openly-gay celebrities who are also accomplished gay activists, I think it's safe to say they would have a basement full of crystal trophies and few people to whom they could award them.

So then, is any celebrity visibility, good visibility? One blogger and self-avowed Bitter Queen frames the debate this way:

"Indeed, how many times have I read editorials in the gay press insisting that pop stars and other celebrities have an obligation to come out of the closet precisely because their fame alone would give a boost to our cause and provide visible role models in the community?  And now that Mr. Bass has done so, Mr. Foster diminishes the importance of that event.  Talk about damned if you do, damned if you don't."

Not everyone who reads this is going to have a lot of sympathy for those who are upset because the wrong celebrities are polluting their black-tie dinner in Washington, but that aside, where do you come down on this story: Are Lance and Reichen good or bad for gay visibility, and do they deserve this award?

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Tags: Lance Bass, Reichen Lehmkuhl, HRC, Gay, Celebrity

'Project Runway' in Black and White

Not everything in this world is black and white -- unless Heidi Klum says so. Thus was Frau. Klum's 'Project Runway' edict this week: To design a cocktail dress using black and white and no other color.

The assigment was very straightforward and clear, but that turned out to be the only thing this week that was. The rest of the show was a roller coaster of surprises, with these being the top three:

Laura Did Not Have a Complete and Total Meltdown
'Runway' threw us all of us for a loop since the previews leading up to this week's episode made everyone think that Laura's roiling expectant-mother hormones were going to get the best of her. Yes, she did have a breakdown: "I wanted to make a change in my life. A big career change. But now I'm just too tired, it's getting exhausting." But instead of totally losing it, she won it. She had her best week ever, designing a dress that was finally outside the realm of something she herself would wear. The woman is strong-headed, pushy and judgemental. And I love her.

Then There Were Seven
It was pretty shocking when Heidi lured the cast to a "party" at the Pink Elephant bar to meet two "special guests" who turned out to be former contestants invited back into the competition for this week and this week only. We knew there were going to be special guests and yes, the Olsen twins would have been a hoot (to make fun of) or, if there was a God, the Carlson twins, but no ...

  
Dresses by the three muska-tears, Angela, Vincent and Kayne

'It's like cockroaches ... '
"You step on them once, they keep coming around." That's what Kayne had to say when the special guests turn out to be Vincent and Angela. The event quickly devolved into a misery-spiral for the remaining contestants who thought they were finally free from the pesky pair to whom all of America was only too happy to say auf Wiedersehen.

Why 'Runway' chose those two to make a comeback is the real mystery. Ostensibly, they invited them back for having won a previous challenge. They should have invited people back who were good -- who could have really shaken things up and been serious contenders to win the challenge (Malan, Allison). Instead, we get the psychodynamic duo can't design their way out of a paper bag, except by accident.

Fortunately, neither Angela or Vincent were up to the challenge of winning the black & white project -- and neither was Kayne who finally got the ax.



I'm still calling for Michael to win. He's the most consistent and, as the judges pointed out, he delivers a "total look." 



Who will be auf'd next?  I think it will be Uli. I love her work and she could totally have a shop and sell her print dresses to people who winter in Miami, but she does keep proving herself to be a one-trick pony, even if that trick is an awfully good one.

 

Mom Calls Dibs on Mario Lopez

So my mom is now one of my daily readers, ever since Jeff and I posted her comment in Straighten Out. Of course, that was only yesterday, so we'll see how long I can hold her interest.

Today, I get this e-mail about Mario Lopez from her:

  "Read your blog about Mario Lopez. I think there is something wrong when a mom and her son are lusting after the same guy. He is adorable (those dimples), but I saw him first and I have dibs.

Don't think he is gay. He used to be on a morning show called (I think) 'The Other Half' with Dick Clark and Danny Bonaduce (a sort of 'The View' with men). I watched it for awhile. Danny Bonaduce was cool and hilarious and surprisingly charming, Dick Clark proved himself an idiot and Mario was sweet and adorable.

[Mario] seems to have a good heart (maybe he is gay -- just kidding). That boy can dance! And his smile! I am declaring him the winner of 'Dancing with the Stars' as of right now. (Wasn't I right about Taylor Hicks? Picked him on the first night too.)

Are you watching 'Celebrity Duets'? Not a very interesting show, but Jai Rodriguez from 'Queer Eye' is on it and he is great! He has all the moves and can really sing. (I pick him as the winner of this show.)    Love, Mom"

I'm not going to fight her for Mario. First of all, she's my mom. But more importantly, if the argument came to blows she would probably take me down. She used to watch 'Roller Derby' when I was a kid and Joanie Weston (who could kill a man with one punch) was her idol. 

 

Update on CNN Anchor Thomas Roberts

AfterElton.com has an update on the Thomas Roberts story from a couple days ago. Some of us were wondering if the CNN anchor's recent appearance at a gay journalists' conference was in any way related to his subsequent job reassignment, effectively bumping him from his role as anchor of 'Headline News.'

Roberts tells AfterElton that the two are wholly unrelated. He also shares some interesting tidbits about his coming out process, life as an on-air anchor, and offers up some advice for up-and-coming journalists and the merits of being out.

'Life as an Openly Gay Journalist'

 

Dirty, Dirty Trash Talk

Using 'Snakes on a Plane' and Samuel L. Jackson's affection for the word mother-f***er as a launch pad, Beliefnet (the best spirituality site on the Web, period) asks today if we are a "cursing culture" and, if so, what the spiritual cost for that is, if any.

Writer Alice Chasan covers several bases, including whether we as a society have become "unshockable," why people curse, and various viewpoints about the positive and negative aspects of using cuss words.

There isn't really anything G-A-Y about this, I'm just interested in the topic and wonder what you all think about it.

Unless ... Do people think gays curse differently? Certainly gay men own the word bitch, and it means something very different when I toss it around than when, say, a straight guy wearing a wife-beater tank says it.

And some people say the word c*ck-sucker like it's a bad thing which, frankly, I have just never understood.

I totally own up to the fact that cursing makes me feel better. It may have something to do with having grown up in Nevada where, you know, you can kick the sh*t off the heel of your boot but you can't kick it out of your heart.

Of course I do moderate when, where and how I curse, but the very fact that I have to think about not cursing must mean that it comes to me as naturally as breathing.

I'm not a particularly religious person, so I don't subscribe to the idea that cursing is a sin or sacrilegious, as some do in the Beliefnet article:

“In the Christian community, such language is completely unacceptable,” says Ben Witherington, Professor of New Testament Interpretation at Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, Ky. “While the obscenity you refer to is not sacrilegious in the normal sense, it is a clear violation of one of the Ten Commandments: Honor thy father and mother. I would not see this as something that gives you a one-way ticket to hell, but as the Bible says, what comes out the mouth reflects what's in the heart, and such language shows that a person is not spiritually well.”

Witherington would probably be forced to forgive my language if he actually heard some of the humdinger swear-word phrases my dad used to toss around when we were kids. I thought I was honoring my father by using perfect diction when saying a**hole.

Chasan also talks to several religion professionals (<< my secular-speak for priests and rabbis) who clearly don't believe that cussing is a sin, though some say it does demean us as a society.

Check out the article, 'Swearing and the Soul,' then discuss the merits or faults of having a potty mouth.

Also, Beliefnet has a fun Swearing Trivia Quiz which I was doing great at until the end when it gets to questions involving some guy named Revelation 5:11, at which point my score went completely to hell.

 

Crazy Comments, Reader Mail and a Word from Mom

Time to share mail and comments on Straighten Out, the gripping column that takes a naked look at straight men, gay men and the women who love them both.

This week, straight-boyfriend Jeff and I take on hetero-homo mysteries, including a note from a guy who seeks sex only with hetero men, and a bear who just doesn't get why a straight dude has a job pouring drinks at the local gay bar.

We also share some whacko comments people leave on our message boards, plus a posting my mom left pointing out that I misquoted her in our last column.

Is it a sign of progress in the struggle for GLBT equality when your mom leaves a comment on your gay sex column? Yes, I think it is, I think it is.

Click to read the latest installment of Straighten Out!

'Dancing' Judge Spots Mario's Super Talent

I'm officially not watching 'Dancing With the Stars.'

That said, I will admit to lusting in my heart as I watched Mario Lopez shake his bon bon on last night's show.

Did anyone besides me about fall out of their chair when one of the judges (like I know any of their names) asked Mario -- who was clad in tight black pants revealing large thighs and a lot more -- if he had batteries in his pants?

I wish I'd fast-forwarded through his pre-dance interview since his spastic ADD antics came close to interferring with my Mario-fantasy (calm down, dude!) But I hung in there to watch him glide his gal around the dance floor and was glad for the ability to rewind, freeze frame and slo-mo to see his, you know, dance steps.

With any luck, we'll get a sense of whether we're talking AA, C or D batteries when we see him later this season in a homoerotic shower shower scene on 'Nip/Tuck.'

Read a Review: 'Dancehall of Fame' (EW)

 

Gay Journalists Convene; Did One Pay a Price?

I attended the annual conference of the National Gay & Lesbian Journalists Association (NLGJA) in South Beach last week. It was inspiring to see such a cross-section of working media among the 600-plus GLBT attendees.



The conference served as a coming out party of sorts for CNN's smart and extremely handsome Thomas Roberts. Now ... This just in: News reports today say that Roberts, along with his co-anchor, has been taken off his post as anchor of 'CNN Headline News.'

The Advocate reports the job reassignment matter-of-factly, while one Web site, Canada.com, intimates a relationship between the two events with its headline 'CNN Anchor Comes Out, Loses Gig.'

I don't know if there's a connection or not, but the timing looks bad, to say the least.

PS:
I want to give a shout out to my fellow bloggers who were at the conference, most of whom I only knew online and now know in person including:

· take-no-prisoners insomniac Pam Spaulding, Pam's House Blend
· the irreverent Jeremy Hooper, Good As You
· dynamic duo Sarah Warn and Malinda Lo, After Ellen
· possibly-gayer-than-me Michael Jensen, After Elton
· almost-but-not-quite-as-gay-as-me Sean Bugg, Bugg Blog
· the definitely-not-straight Wayne Besen
· the puckish Dan Renzi, How Was Your Day, Dan?
· and HERE! TV podcaster extraordinaire, Josh Rosenzweig

See everyone in San Diego next year.

 

Can Oprah Absolve McGreevey's 'Confession'?

Does anyone else find 'The Confession' to be a curious title for former Governor James McGreevy's new book? 

What exactly is he confessing to? Being gay? His 'Brokeback' marriage? Giving his boyfriend a job in homeland security when the man was wholly unqualified?

'The Confession' is touted as a "story of a life of ambition, moral compromise, and redemption." The self-penned tell-all hits stores on September 19, the same day that the now famous "gay American" will break his two-year public silence and appear on national TV to confess his sins faith alleged crimes story to God Oprah.

The Oprah stint will kick-off 'The Confession' tour (hey, I thought Madonna already called that?) for which McGreevey will visit 'The Late Show With David Letterman,' the 'Today' show and 'The View', among others.

Everyone is allowed to make mistakes and find redemption, but I hope that we as a community will take a look at the whole picture before any of us rush to make James McGreevey the next celebrity spokesman for the gay cause.

His newfound affection for truthiness is great, but just because he's gay and was in a position of power doesn't mean he automatically gets gay hero status.

UPDATE 9-13-06: LOGO Online reports today that James McGreevey is a likely candidate to serve as co-host on Joan River's new talk show set to launch in January. Eegod. (Logo Online, via Towleroad)

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Tags: Oprah, James McGreevey, Gay, The Confession

9/11, Up Close and Personal

Every New Yorker has a story to tell about the events of 9/11, and there are two I want to share today, the fifth anniversary of the tragic events of 2001.

The first is a film by writer/director Brian Sloan. 'WTC View' peeks into the life of one gay man and the people he encounters as he tries to find a roommate in the days following the 9/11 attack.

Eric, played with unwitting charm and a very natural demeanor by Michael Urie, struggles with how to process what he's experienced, including the emotional effects of staring out his window at what used to be the twin towers. Like many people, he tries to live normally, but knows that "normal" has been changed forever, a message that is delivered in part by the stories he hears from prospective roommates who come into his life ever so briefly.

'WTC View' is a very different kind of movie from the epic-sized blockbusters that hit theaters this summer. I prefer seeing the view from a small film that is able to look at something as huge as 9/11 and create an intimate, personal bond with an audience. Sometimes small things speak volumes. This is one of those times.

'WTC View' is playing on LOGO now, and also available on DVD.

Watch the Trailer




I hope that you will also check out blogger Joe.My.God. who shares his personal account of the events of 9/11. Illustrated with his own photos from that day, Joe's account is very personal and authentic.

"When I headed back south, along the edges of the financial district, I found many people wearing face masks. I still have no idea where these thousands of masks came from, but when I came across one lying on the ground, I put it on." 

Read More From Joe.My.God.: 'That Day'

 

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Tags: 9/11, September 11, Gay, WTC View, Movies

Flash Back Friday

In 1984, David Letterman hosted the incredibly talented and original filmmaker John Waters and his frequent star player, Divine.

It's fascinating to watch this clip in which Letterman is more than "a little flustered" as he navigates interviewing the king of trash cinema and a very large drag performer who never met a pound of pancake makeup she didn't like. When they first meet, Letterman asks her, "exactly what are you?"

One has to appreciate how new and different this interview was for its time. Although Water's earlier films like 'Pink Flamingos' were already more than 10 years old by 1984, putting these two guests on a national TV show was huge. Even though Letterman is obviously a little out of his element, he has some fun with the odorama card from 'Polyester' (though he refuses to scratch 'n sniff) and invites Divine to perform 'Born to Be Cheap.'

(Thanks to Pixel Pusher-Jeff for sending these gems.)

John Waters & Divine on Letterman (1984)