'Dancing' Judge Spots Mario's Super Talent

I'm officially not watching 'Dancing With the Stars.'

That said, I will admit to lusting in my heart as I watched Mario Lopez shake his bon bon on last night's show.

Did anyone besides me about fall out of their chair when one of the judges (like I know any of their names) asked Mario -- who was clad in tight black pants revealing large thighs and a lot more -- if he had batteries in his pants?

I wish I'd fast-forwarded through his pre-dance interview since his spastic ADD antics came close to interferring with my Mario-fantasy (calm down, dude!) But I hung in there to watch him glide his gal around the dance floor and was glad for the ability to rewind, freeze frame and slo-mo to see his, you know, dance steps.

With any luck, we'll get a sense of whether we're talking AA, C or D batteries when we see him later this season in a homoerotic shower shower scene on 'Nip/Tuck.'

Read a Review: 'Dancehall of Fame' (EW)