There once was a man from L.A.
A designer he was, but not gay.
He quacked while he sewed,
Was an ass à la mode,
Now that bitch wears the crown on 'Runway'?
-- Kenneth Hill
As my dream BFF Tim Gunn so aptly said last night, "This is our last gather 'round." (Sniff, sniff.) That's right, people, the ride is over and a winner has been named on season three of 'Project Runway.'
I was poring over my notes this morning, reviewing some footage, arranging thoughts, planning my verbal attack on the travesty that was the finale. Then an e-mail pops up from my friend and fellow professional homosexual, Mark.
In a few sentences he encapsulates all my carefully crafted thoughts, effectively doing my job for me. So without further ado, here's what Mark and I think, according to his e-mail:
"In my opinion as a professional homosexual, Laura and Uli got screwed last night.
After looking at the collections, I was torn between the two ladies, Laura’s being the one that I most consistently liked, Uli’s being fun to wear and watch.
Michael had been pretty steady right along, but his complete line last night was a Beyoncé video. I was not crazy in love.
Jeffrey -- whose line I will admit to enjoying, and had some interesting cool pieces, is pretty much a sour a**hole, and I was reallllllllly bummed that once again bad behavior and general dickheadedness won out -- which I feel is the American way during the Bush years, but still."
The only thing I don't agree with him on is Jeffrey's collection. I thought every piece was ugly. Original? OK. But the judges awarded originality over beauty, and that's not OK -- at least not to me.
Let's say Jeffrey was on 'Top Chef' instead of 'Project Runway,' and the menu he dreams up for his final challenge includes:
Borage Fritters with Cod Liver Oil Coulis
Roast Alley Kitten with Dumpster-Diving Stuffing
Rock Star Dessert: Candied Circus Peanuts & Jello Shooters
That's original and creative, but would YOU eat it? Didn't think so.
I still heart 'Project Runway,' though. I laughed, I cried, I learned the difference "ruching" and "rouching." (Be careful how you use those two terms or you might get way more than you bargained for sometime.)
I loved this season's cast and look forward to watching their careers, still hope someday to have lunch with Tim Gunn (Tim: Call me!) and can't wait for season four.
My Season Three
'Runway' Posts in Review:
· Could Tim Gunn Be the Sexiest Man Alive?
· 'Runway'
Airs Its Dirty Laundry
· Judges'
Score: 'F'
· 'Runway'
in Black and White
· Parlez-Vous
'Project Runway'?
· 'Runway'
Meets 'Snakes on a Plane'
· Judging
the Judges
· Trashed
by the Good, the Fat and the Ugly
· Gay
MovieFantasies
· Rundown
on the 'Runway'
· To
My Darling 'Project Runway,' With Love...Mommie
Dearest
· Mother's
Day, With Bonus Bitchfest
· 'Runway'
Goes to the Dogs This Week
· Cut
the Wrong String
· 'Project
Runway': Better
ThanEver
Project Rungay | Blogging Project Runway | Runner's Up Dish the Dirt
8 comments:
Ooops. I mean your friend Mark.
Dearestgayest,
I agree with your friend Michael--except I agree with you on Jeffrey and his stinkin' line. But I'd rather have dinner with Laura ('cause you KNOW she'd dish). Or with Uli ('cause it'd mean I'm in Miami).
The world needs more limericks. I think you missed your calling.
Ahh, my Irish friend, Suzieaim. I actually used to write limericks like crazy. Perhaps I shall reinvigorate it as my own personal artform. :-)
Good limerick. I was genuinely disappointed by Jeffrey's win. His line did nothing for me. Yes, it was creative, but I did'nt care for it, espcially that solid blue thing. Despite what the judges said, the only piece i did like was th long flowing dress. Must have had Uli on my mind...
I was disappointed that Michael did'nt make it, and moreso for Uli and Laura. i think they all have a great future, tho. Maybe now Jefferey will stop acting like an ass.
You've got to be kidding right ? Look, past Jeffery's behavior...which compared to Angela and Vincent was perfect...his was the only truly cohesive line, with vision, and was marketable......Michael is a great "student", able to do the homework assignments, but he has no personal vision. Laura Rocks !!! I love her stuff, personally I would have voted for her, however her line is very limited. But come on, leave Jeffery alone, he deserved to win, and even if you don't like him, you have to respect his craftsmanship.
Kenneth,
Thanks for the Limmerick it was great.
I agree Jeffreys line was creative, but I honestly can't imagine anyone wearing it.
Laura on the hand just creates "Variations on a Theme", practically everything is the same, I expect to see her clothes in Ann Taylor Loft.
Uli's was the most fun. I think she should have won.
Poor Michael, just went to Animal Printy and 70's to have won.
I think next season, we need to get rid of that cow Nina Garcia, and the boorish Michael Kors, I'm tired of them both. If they get rid of them 4th season would be much more enjoyable.
Oh my my my. I'm not a fashion designer no where near it, but come on. I didn't like Jeffrey's at all. Maybe one or two pieces. Michael's line was a little disappointing. Uli's was ok. Now Laura's line. I would wear every last piece. I thought it was wonderful. I wish them all well and actually all four of them won. People will be lined up for their work. So far I liked this season the most.
And for Tim, he just tickles me. He's great. God Bless them all.
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