Editor's Note: Reading this may or may not make you blind.
On
August 5, whole bunches of people will gather in a hall in London and
go to town doing the wango tango. I'm talking about spanking the monkey
and petting the petunia. Yes, I'm talking about
m-a-s-t-u-r-b-a-t-i-o-n.
I've always said there are two kinds
of people: Those who masturbate and those who lie. Now, the
aforementioned group and their lying friends are invited to participate
in the Masturbate-a-Thon.
This is a real event, I'm not making it up. It's an eight-hour
self-love-a-thon which "seeks to raise awareness of, and dispel the
shame and taboos that persist around, this most commonplace, natural
and safe form of sexual activity."
The event was originallly conceived by the Center for Sex and
Culture in San Francisco, which produced the first public event six
years ago, and another earlier this year.
Like its American
inspiration did, the UK event will raise money for charity. People
will seek donations from their friends -- and co-workers and family, of
course -- to sponsor them for each minute that they you-know-what.
Funds raised will be donated to two organizations in the U.K. that work
in sexual and reproductive health, and HIV/AIDS.
This might be
the most fun charity work one could ever imagine -- helping
others while doing something that also benefits oneself.
People
can choose to be in rooms that are all women, all men or mixed.
Touching others is basically not allowed. Each participant is assigned
a monitor who, organizers say, are not voyeurs and
are embarrassed by nothing. I guess it could go without
saying that little to nothing can embarrass the self-love-lovin'
participants either.
Participants can elect to be considered
for the prize for most orgasms. How exactly does one judge women here?
If I knew, I might be disqualified as the editor of this blog. But it
is my understanding that straight guys can't always tell either. Do
women know when other women are faking? (Note: I asked one of my
resident lesbian experts who feigned that SHE can always tell but
agreed to pose the question to a huge tribe of women here).
One
other fun fact: A documentary is being made of the event (and the
organizing leading up to it) -- and it will be shown on British
television. Channel 4 editor Andrew MacKenzie said that the film is in
keeping with their "provocative and mischievous" programming in the
same vein as their 'Penis Week.'
Is it just me, or does
British TV sound way more fun than ours? Given the choice between
watching their 'Penis Week' or our 'Shark Week,' I'd say we're getting
the short end of the stick on this side of the pond. And no, 'Big
Brother' does not count as a 'Penis Week.'
I never did buy the warning that "every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten." I'm more of the school of that Luther Ingram mega hit, "If Loving Me Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right.' Or something like that.
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42 comments:
haha nicee
this sounds very interesting lol
I am no prude, but is this REALLY necessary? Surely there are other ways to raise money for these worthy causes.
What happened to the England of Churchill and 'elevenses?' I do believe the British have collectively lost their minds.
Joe Nolan
NYC
I would so be a monitor... that is freakin' awsome. Sex is so interesting.
Hah.. good times good times... Is this kinda like National Beat-off day?
this has to be the most morally degrading public fundraiser I've ever heard of!!! Surely they can come up with a better way to raise money than this. :-(
Those people have lost their damn minds!!!!!
Sure,If it will benifit mankind and it isnt hurting anyone exept the people who feel disgusted, I mean look at it this way for something most people do any way that keep it secret they could actually do to help their friends & family, and if it will help in the lease amount it will be raise the money needed for the researchers it must be worth while, Just keep an open mind and open heart for all the people in need of this research, Even though i will say it is awkward to do that in mass groups It will benifit us in the future, So do not look down upon it or take it lightly because it will show worthy in all good time, I support this all the way....And i hope to god they will find a cure,
I had to make a comment on this. I normally don't check that little pop-up that tells me what is going on in the world of AOL, but, I did happen to notice something about the whole "kill a kitten" thing. I thought, no way are they talking about masturbation! Well, I am wrong.
More power to those people, =). Sure, it's an odd way to raise money, but it's also a beautiful way. Forget saying it's masturbation, if you want to analyze it, it's people who are doing what they like to do to raise money to help others. If they like to sing, they'd sing for money. If they like to draw, they will draw for money. If they like to masturbate, well, you get the picture.
I'm glad that somewhere out there people are not ashamed to do what they want to do and what they believe in. So once more, more power to them. I hope they raise a lot of well earned cash, =).
yea this is a very uncomon thing and i'm not about to pull my stuff out for a fundraiser but on the positive side it's for a good cause
yea this is a very uncomon thing and i'm not about to pull my stuff out for a fundraiser but on the positive side it's for a good cause
Your article was hilarious! thanks. I do wonder who is going to clean up after the event. there are some jobs that just may not be worth itl
Dude, the damn british are so f**ked up!
the devil works in mysterious ways
Yeah what kind of sick joke are you playing here? Im gonna whack off for money or a prize in like a church or townhall or big building with other maybe homosexuals staring at my thing? Yeah I dont think so, I think your gonna have to rent out a few Inns because if somehow they have a Masturbato Thon maybe a lot of people like to masturbate.
oh man, all of you need to get over yourselves and realize that everyone thinks differently, and when it comes to the differences in the UK/American views on sex and sexuality, there are A LOT. so i agree, more power to them. even if u guys cant admit that u probably sometimes fantasize about rubbin one off while someone watches. i liked this article. but some people need to grow up and not take some things so goddamn seriously. its not that serious people. its masturbating. its called having fun. so go f*ck yourselves. literally. ^_~
awesome!
get a gurl friend!fag
WTF
im not a big fan of these kinds of things but wow thats really sweet. i bet those ppl r gona hav a blast. lmao but uhh i think its kinda weird when ppl say ohh ya thats a beautiful thing i mean ya two ppl doin it ok i guess thats beautiful but a room with a bunch of horney honks thats just uhhh ya u catch my drift, but anywho this is really fasinating. ohh and i just wanted to point out that DAMN those rooms r gona smell like fish with a side of manaise.
Nooo, the poor kittens. But wow. yeah what whoever said alot of ppl in a room jerking and pulling isnt what I would call a festivity. Geez isnt this why we have girlfriends? THATS RIGHT!
This is incredibly awesome. It's an original idea, it's an amusing idea, it's a fun idea, and it's an idea that will actually get somewhere ('cause, people love pleasure, and having the chance to pleasure oneself for a good cause is just.. nifty). Anybody who says it's stupid is just close-minded and prejudiced, poisoned by lies about how pleasure is a horrible thing and should only be felt to reproduce. Tsk. I could never participate, I'm way to shy. But I'd definetely sponsor someone. I've got to get involved in the one in San Francisco somehow, the UK is a bit far for me to be going.
I dont know what you guys are talkin about id pull my junk out i mean fuck im not ashamed of my swang..and i think if i can raise money crankin then hell yea sign me up..
I would just like to say that this is a FANTASTIC idea and people need to be much more open about their sexuality. There is nothing wrong with masturbation and the human body is a beautiful thing that our close-minded society has forced into hiding. Far too many people are embarrassed about their body and their sexuality, and being uncomfortable with your body can lead to eating disorders and such because people arent comfortable with themselves and other people are hateful, so please dont be hateful of this fundraiser. I would so donate or join if i didnt live so far away.
mannnn that is the best fundraiser ive ever heard of. props to the ppl in london who thought up this one. why dont we have fundraisers like that here?
WOW! this rocks! When I was about 11 my friends who were 13-15 told me about masturbation...We went on a marathon ourselves, every nite. I always felt so guilty and being christian felt guilty that I might be gay (which I am notthough I support everyone). I just got over it and went at this in boyscouts for about two years. Then i felt so guilty one day that my mother could see it...she made me tell her everything I had done...now mind you..my mother is a very stern woman..kind but stern and i didnt have a father who could do this job for her so it was emmbarrasing. I went around for 2 months not able to look at her because these confession sessions kept happening. After that I stayed away from the public for 2 years and vowed myself to doing nothing else. after that 2 years i couldnt hold off any longer and i had to masturbate. Everytime I did i my heart would kill me with guilt because I felt so sinful.
read comment below before reading this 1 please: I would masterbate maybe 4 times a month and i felt like such a monster. I have been trying to ignore these thoughts up till two days ago. I am almost 16 years now so i have felt guilty for 5 years...ashamed. Lately I have been going through stages where everything would get me horny, anything and I have been wanting to masterbate more and more and with other people again. I kept thinking O NO!!! I might be gay after all and mom is going to reject me!! NO! my mother is the most important thing to me and i wouldnt want to upset her, but again i kept having these feelings. I finally decided to research it. last night I read up on teenage puberty and i was amazed to find that i was normal! Almost everyone masterbates married or single, old or young, anyone! I was amazed. I have now been able to release me guilt that has plagued me for 5 years, and I dont feel like a monster who should die for my practices. I also learned that mutual masturbation is normal at my age...I had lost all connection with those close friends because of something stupid like that. I Support this day with all my heart! Parents get over the fact that your children masterbate! and people of the world!! ACCEPT IT! I am a christian and I am straight, but i support the choice and i support open JACKN!
warning : if u like kittens , so not for you
when i was young (about 4) i got my first kitten of my very own, it got kit by a car about 2 weeks later. about 8 years later i found porn under my fathers couch . any relation there ???? who knows ; )
wow i think that is amazing im talking to one of my bestfriends on the phone about it and its an interesting idead and somehow it interest me to find out more about it its really cool taht something so personal and hidden can be put to good use !!!!
I guess I just feel bad for all the minute men out there trying to get involved. If the donations are given for every minute lasted, I'm not sure if them helping is a lost cause or a friendly notion. I mean come on, the only real reason people are doing this is to either A, see others naked, or B, be able to brag that they took part in such a crude event. If this was turned into a reality show I'm positive it would be loved by teenagers all over the US.
omg.......swanging your wang for a charity? id soo drop my pants for that......lets wack off! yeaa woohooo! im a virgin so this excites me.....i like masturbating.....and i like star wars and lord of the rings so i dont really get any action...except from hookers and asian kids.
love always, amelia
just imagine the headlines.........we have found the cure for hiv/aids because a very large group of participants pulled down their underpants and did the self loving dance....:) hehehehehe that would be awesome
Holly cow its sex or masturbation! Somebody strike me down for using the S and M word. Sex is a 100% natural occurence. For crying out loud its sex. all of us wouldn't be here if it were not for sex. although sometimes i wonder what people were thinking. but thats a nother story. and if it were a sin to have sex or masturbate i dont think God would have given Adam and Eve a leaf to cover themselves with. Maybe im crazy but eh sex is good in many ways!
Hahaha yeeee my boyfriend will would so be in that fundraiser hahaha :] people need to stop filping out its just masterbation stop acting like thats sooo unnessecary...
that is a lot of dead kittens
damn...... I always masturbate............. damn I wish I was there ;) and having someone watch me? ooooooooooh....... =)
"and if it were a sin to have sex or masturbate i dont think God would have given Adam and Eve a leaf to cover themselves with. Maybe im crazy but eh sex is good in many ways!"
thats not how it happened. after Creation, they were completely naked, and since there was no sin, there was nothing wrong with it. but when they bit the forbidden fruit, sin rushed into the world... and they began to cover themselves up, to help prevent lustful sins.
but your part right, sex is natural and a good thing. however, sex is meant for a man and his wife, not a man and his hand, and not a man and some "chick" he picked up.
haha...wow, Amazing :) I think its pretty cool
Haha. I would expect this from Americans, but the good old folk of Britain? Wow.
Well if they have Penis Week, I definetly respect the British just the same. God save the Queen.
haha. I'd go there,
honestly.
It's for charity.
And you get pleasure.
The only bad thing is you're getting it from yourself.
haha. I'd go there,
honestly.
It's for charity.
And you get pleasure.
The only bad thing is you're getting it from yourself.
disgusting
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