I received this e-mail from a reader today:
"I hate the gay community. Since I am 56, I rarely meet people any more. I am thinking about going back into the closet. Or going straight. I think it would be easier than getting all this rejection in Seattle."
6 comments:
well i can't say that i don't see where he's coming from, sometimes it just feels like this, but i can't say that i would be willing to give up the choices that i made for myself just because someone else won't accept, isn this the time that all of us need to stick together anyway? why?
I hear this same comment from everyone over 40 in my town is only trying to bed guys half their age or younger. I don't think this person gave us enough information about himself to give him any advice. He says it's hard to meet people...I meet plenty of people (and in the breadbasket of Northeastern PA, that's a tough one), just doesn't mean i'm into them all. I wonder if this reader is hitting on guys his own age...or twinks and guys in their 20s. While there are a few of them, most guys that age aren't interested in anyone that old. If that's the case, it's no wonder he's not getting any.
I'm in the same age group so I have some idea what the poster is saying. To the world at large I was juicer at 25 than I am in my 50s. If I want to demonstrate it to myself, all I have to do is go to a bar-club-meatrack to see to what extent I am flying under the radar today. But why would I do that? I like people over forty (both physically and emotionally) and I'm less likely to run into what I like in a bar-club-meatrack. Moreover, I'm glad I was a pup when I was a pup (during the sexual revolution of the 70s) when there was nothing around that couldn't be addressed with tetracycline. And being young at any time wasn't a guarantee of universal desirability. I remember a friend in those days who used to repeat a special mantra to pump up his nerve every time he hit the street: "no matter what you have, someone out there wants it." That has never seemed more true than in the age of the Internet where it is possible to look broadly about for compatible people of any age. The dawn of HIV/AIDS has also put a whole new spin on aging for me. So many of my friends died in their 20s and 30s that I would have been perverse not to be grateful when I turned 50. I think the biggest problem is finding the right social milieu in which to operate once the youth scene has lost its luster. It's less of a problem in metropolitan areas where there are a lot of good-looking, fit, out, middle-aged men. It could take more imagination in smaller towns and rural areas. I wish him well and would tell him that there are many people out here who like charming 56 year olds.
Mr. Man, I found great pleasures and a variety of people from dancing " GaySquares". I truly hope there is a chapter in your region. I am 46 and feel your pain but "Gateway Squares" put more than a band-aid on it.
I can identify with this guy. I'm 49. When I was younger the thought of not hanging out in the bars seemed unthinkable. Everything seems different to me now. I don't go out much, so ifI'm not getting any tail, that's my own fault , I guess. it seems like I meet more desirable guys on line. Most of them though live on the other side of the world,or in another state far, far away. I'm looking for some non bar activities, but there aren't many here. I also have to admit I find a lot of younger men really hot, but I don't hit on a lot of them because i remember I'm twice their age, and would totally understand if they thought I was too old. I also can remember recieving a lot of rejection when i was younger too, so maybe age isn't that big a factor.
I am 54 year young, and I have freinds my same age..I also network within the gay community..I live in a small town where all the gays are in the closet except my brother(which is my sister) I've lived in Fla, and New Orleans French Quarter.........The gay community is big..I vist New Orleans when I need a lift me up...I also have internet at my figure tips if I get lonely.. My only thing is where do gay people go when they get really old...
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