A woman writes an eloquent and heartfelt editorial about serving in -- and getting kicked out of -- the U.S. military.
Here's a taste of the article:
I stopped counting at 52. That's how many times just this week I've heard someone at work mention their spouse in casual conversation: "I have to leave early today to take my wife to the doctor" or "My husband hates shopping."
Now imagine if you were told by your employer that you couldn't talk about the person in your life. Imagine you couldn't even acknowledge their existence. If you slip and casually say, "My girlfriend and I are in love and we want to get married," you don't get congratulated ... you get fired.
That's what happened to me because I violated the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
She also nails an excellent point about how corporate America is leaving the U.S. government in the dust when it comes to treating gay men and lesbians fairly and equally. Check it out. It's very well done.
'When Asked, I Told' by Rhonda K. Davis (New York Daily News)
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29 comments:
Typical American complexes
Gay's create a lot of problems and really have no place in the military.
I think it's time someone faught the Military Doctrine concerning homosexuals. It amazes me how our Constitutional Rights are violated. Corporate America is making progress with gays in this country because it doesn't want to risk losing law suits. The US government has no checks and balances as far as I am concerned. Unfortunately, the so-called represenatives of The United States don't want to deal with issues that may very well end their political careers. On this 4th of July many celebrate and remember the people/actions that led to our independence from the tyranny of England. The colonies united for personal freedom and liberty. How sad is it that we cannot do the same today. Why can't we unite to assist gays in the Military who are discriminated against? God Bless This Country!
Sincerely
I don't want gay guys checking me out in the barracks wtf, the policies are as fair as they can be without banning gays entirely
Something is wrong here. These people are allowed to say that Gays cause problems....I don't think I have ever heard a story of a straight bashing. Or straight people losing their jobs for saying things like "I love my husband or I love my wife" Gay people don't stare you down when you walk down the street practically dry-humping. But O my they are holding hands and having a conversation and lets jump on them. People who say that Gay People cause problems need to look at their lives first. What kind of environment were you brought up in that gives you the right to say who is better then anyone else. No one gave you that right.
Question for zerschmettern00: What it god's name makes you think gay guys would be interested in YOU? It continues to astound me that straight guys think gay men are interested in them. We aren't. Get over it.
you wouldnt say, i f the person that saved your life in a war
i think its wrong that everyone is just hating wach other, for what we have bigger things to hate LIKE for example ( Global Warming, that is what is really important. people need to start respecting each other and getting along with one another , even if they dont agree on hte sexuality.. They need to stop this ignorance...
Thanks,.,,,,,
and baby you deserve to be in a better service, and freak them....
they just lost a good soldier...
gog bless honey,
I enlisted in the U.S. Coast Guard in 1976. I loved it. I was stationed in Hawaii for two of the four years. One year was on a ship in Gulfport Mississippi. I didn't care much for the location but I loved going out to sea especially durning storms. The bigger the waves the better( I don't get sea sick).
When my enlistment was up I decided to get my honorable discharge ( four pay grade raises during my enlistment). Had it not for the possibility of being outed, I would have stayed in and probably retired in 1986.
It is a sad thing that the ;military is against gays in its services. We, I, served so well.
Cheers
Terry Martin
<blockquote>Gay's create a lot of problems and really have no place in the military.
Comment from badelgado - 7/4/06 6:04 PM</blockquote>
<P>1) you need to be more specific and tell the audience how create sooo many problems. and 2), how does me being gay make me unfit for military service?</P>
I think the "don't ask don't tell" policy is one of the very few things that came from Clinton that makes sense for the reason that the vast majority of troops are repelled to various degrees by people who practice homosexual activity, and that policy at least minimizes conflicts and/or disdain among the troops.
I am not questioning anyones military abilities or sincerity to serve their country.
I am pointing out natural human reactions to that which is a very distinct minority regardless of the numbers that the "experts" often put out, and if we get involved in a real war (not an Iraq type thing) there will be no room for reaction to the people who practice and talk about their homosexual experiences. There are things which can never be "educated" out of human nature.
"Don't ask don't tell" is no doubt an infringement on free speech, however the military reserves the right for Constitutional "violations" for purposes that cannot be claimed by the general population.
sorry
Just because someone is gay does not mean that their ability to serve in the military is any less then someone who is straight. In response to the person that wrote " I do not want some gay checking me out in the barracks, wtf." And what makes you think that gays would be attracted to you to being with?? Just because you are straight? Please... This is a part of life that is always going to be there and you should really get used to it.
thats wrong.....
America was founded by Christians, Protestants escaping persecution against the Catholics so most of the Constitution is written based on their beliefs. God made males to be attracted to females and females to be attracted to males. He never intended for men and men to be together and to share a bed, nor did He intend on women to do the same (Romans 1). If that were the case, then there would be no use for a women since men could give birth. There is nothing ok with being gay or lesbian. perish the thought.
when is it said that it is our place to judge the people whom we have no knowledge to base our judgements upon? if the person has hurt you, judge accordingly, but i see not where this upstanding soldier, or any other, has caused any harm or injury to another based on her chosen path. i am wiccan, and have been reading about religious intollerance within the military towards mine and other's chosen paths. this is no different. she has chosen to walk a path that differs from yours and you tell her that she is wrong for it? what of the men and woman who believe that it is wrong to have an abortion? we do not disqualify them for believing that a common practice, which is currently legal, is wrong. we do not persecute them who have chosen to walk the path of a solitary life, never seeking the love af another, regardless of their sex or religion. the choice is hers to make. we should have the courage and heart to accept that we are not her, and it was not our choice to make. we are not required to like it, but we are obligated by the standards to which we hold others to accept what she has chosen, as she has accepted what you have chosen.
i have nothing but love for you, and hope that your life is as beautiful as your love for the one for whom you sacrificed your job and chance to have a secure life. blessed be and never give in- live to your end.
Everyone has their own opinion-that's the glory of living in this country. The reason we have these rights is because we have military personnel of all types protecting those freedoms. And, I am completely AGAINST homosexuality-it is against my beliefs as a Christian. **However** it is also against Christian beliefs to persecute, judge, and otherwise treat others in a manner inconsistent with our teachings. As a Christian, I am not permitted to engage in such activity or support such a lifestyle but God prohibits me from judging or taking recourse against another person for their personal lifestyles. They are not perfect and I am not perfect. I think that people who quote the bible and call someone bad names or say ugly things all in the same sentence are hypocrits to their beliefs. God clearly states 'Judge not lest ye be judged in the same manner.' What a person does or believes is ultimately between them and God-He will decide their fate. I should lead by example and do as God instructs by loving all people as though they are my brother and/or sisters and leading them to God by witnessing and leading by example. I commend your service for protecting my right to be a Christian in this country and may God bless you and keep you.
I'm sorry to see this. I am a spouse of retired military of 23 years. I had no idea when discharge was given that was what was on the papers. That is awful and your story was great. You can die for our country but you have to keep your life secret it is wrong and maybe someday things will be different.
Good luck
I am an economic conservative, not a political conservative - and I am disgusted at the way the Army dismisses homosexuals. The most prosperous societies are the ones that successfully tolerate differences between their citizens - and I hate to see our society waste resources caring about who its citizens choose to be intimate with.
Do gays/lesbians threaten the fabric of society? Not to me? As a straight person, I might feel a little ill at ease thinking about some private acts - but that's my problem, and not one I should impose on others. Isn't love the one thing we all crave? And if that love comes in a "non-standard package", what is so bad about it? Is the purpose of love only to facilitate breeding? If so, then why do we accept senior citizens getting married? In short, we have separated breeding from the purpose and function of being married.
What then are the functions of being married, if not just to propagate the species? Well, providing people with life-partnerships is important - it becomes a hedge bet that one person will take care of the other when ill, preventing that person from becoming a burden to society. And doesn't it make sense to allow gays and lesbians to show their love for each other - and thus reduce potential burdens on society?
NASCARLVR04---- YOU COULDNT HAVE SAID IT ANYBETTER!!!! I HAVE SERVED MY COUNTRY FOR 4 YEARS IN THE MILITARY AND STRIVE TO BE A DEVOTED CHRISTIAN. BUT ITS NOT MY PLACE TO DECIDE AND MAKE LAW FOR OUR COUNTRY BASED ON MY PERSONAL BELIEFS, NOR IS IT THE OPTION OF OUR GOVERNMENT TO MAKE THAT DECISION FOR US. I DONT AGREE WITH GAY AND LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS AT ALL BUT ITS NOT MY PLACE TO NOT ONLY JUDGE THESE PEOPLE BUT DEFINITELY NOT MY PLACE NOR THE GOVERNMENTS TO MAKE RULE ON THEM. WHEN YOU CONVICT AND CONDEMN A CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT, AS A GOVERNMENT, YOU COMPLETELY GO AGAINST EVERYTHING THAT YOU SUPPOSEDLY STAND FOR.
I feel really bad for you. I am strait but don't understand the homophobia the US military has against homosexuals. I would hate to be judged incompetent for choosing a field on the basis of my preferences, whether it be sexual or otherwise. I've heard it said that the straits don't like being eyed by the gays. However, this really doesn't hold much water. Just like in prison, those that are strait develope gay tendencies when persons of the opposite sex are not available. Why wouldn't this be true in the military. At least historically this has been the case. Or even extra-marital affairs. Is the goverment going to crack down on this too?
Maybe the goverment will ease on this issue. Only crack down on those who are engaging in sexual harrassment (which is both a strait and gay issue) instend of preference.
This note is for the folks described above, who don't liked to be eyed by gays. Someone of the opposite sex who is repulsive in your sight is masturbating to your body right now. Do you like that? I'm sure you don't.
As long as you can do your job, your personal life is yours and nobody elses. I personally don't have a problem with homosexuals in the military they can do their job just as good as anyone else.
It was simple and u could not follow the directions , What part of dont ask dont tell do u not under stand
Gays and Lesbians shouls be use for Marine target practice.
thats horrible a shame to all military i joined and gays dont belong
wether or not you are gay, it shouldn't make a difference. Because you are there to defend our country, more power to you!
'
There is also an elloquently stated, heart felt piece written about gays in the military from our government, it's called:
Public Law 103-160, codified at 10 U.S.C. Sec. 654.
I bet the majority of people who read and have strong opinions in favor of Open Homosexuality in the military have never actually READ the entire policy or considered the military as a career option in the first place.
I bet most of the people reading this don't even know the changes that have been made to this policy since 1999.
And ... I'll bet my meager paycheck that most people don't understand that the discharge rate of homosexals based on "DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL, DON'T HARRASS, DON'T PURSUE" in the military has actually fallen DRAMATICALLY since 2001 to an altime low not seen since 1995.
We all make sacrifices in order to serve in today's military and homosexuals are no exeption.
It's a shame that the people in this country are so narrow minded. I served in the military for six years as a gay man It was an experience I will never regret.However the way gays are being treated by our government is wrong.We're good enough to give our lives for this country....But our country is'nt good enough to give us the lives that we deserve.That being the same freedoms that we fight for as a nation not just for the choosen...If your straight well here are all they freedoms and benefits of this country that you deserve because we like you...And for you gays here's what we think you deserve because your different. I've been in a same sex relationship for 23 years and would really feel alot better if I knew for a fact that if in the aevent that a medical problem came up with me that my partner would be able to do what was necessary to either save my life or pull the plug without legal recourse from a family member. That is not an option for us.I would like to think that if I died tomorrow my partner would be able to keep everything that we built together without the fanancial burnden of attorneys that to is not an option for us.Think about it I don't want to have sex in front of you I just want the same rights as all the others.And if your being kept awake at night thinking about what I'm doing in my bedroom who really has the problem here?
America deserves the best military personnel it can get. The retarded anti-gay policies of the DOD preclude that possibility. If someone is the best weapons technician or pilot or Arabic translator or whatever, then their sexuality should be of no importance whatsoever. Any policy to the contrary has the potential to undermine American defenses. If you doubt that claim, then consider that the military discharged several Arabic translators for being gay in the months before 9/11. How confident can you really be that that didn´t make a difference?
Moreover, to the person who commented that discharge rates under DADT have fallen since 1999- that´s because there´s a war on. When the gov´t needs bodies, it´s happy to take the gays, but as soon as this current conflict is over, the discharge rates will shoot up again. It´s a pattern we´ve seen before.
It´s just incredibly messed up to be prejudiced against people who want to serve their country just becaus eof their sexuality
We DONT want gays in the military its a sick thing to do.
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