The puckish fellas at Queerty aren't crazy about gay dads and lesbian moms parading their kids to events like yesterday's White House Easter egg roll:
"Blah, blah blah ... Really, it's so sad to think about these little kids, having to deal with protestors and politicking and such, when they just want to play games and really don't get why all the adults have their undies in a bundle. Having fun shouldn't be this complicated when you're still in elementary school."MEANWHILE ... A gay dad who writes the blog The Republic of T and who took his young son to the White House ("We went, we saw, we rolled some eggs") has a different take on it:
"... It's not fair to shove kids in front of news cameras when they don't know what they're getting themselves into -- and cannot choose for themselves whether or not to not be in the public eye. They didn't show up at the White house to prove a point. They're just there, being kids, rolling eggs down the grass with a spoon. They don't speak for you, they can barely speak for themselves."
"Still taking in the egg roll aftermath. It shouldn’t surprise me, but apparently even some gay people don’t get it. I’ve posted before on all the reasons for going, and I won’t repeat myself here. The only thing I can think of to say to gay folks who spout something close to the right wing rhetoric on this is an updated parental aphorism: Wait ’til you have kids, and realize that the rights and protections you don’t have they don’t have either."In the earlier post he references, The Republic of T says:
"The reality is that anything we do as gay families with any degree of visibility is politicized. So if they weren’t objecting to our presence or participation, then all that’s left to object to is our visibility. And, as I discovered in the line to enter the gates, just by being visible as families we can make a difference in how people think about our families."
The Republic of T is right. Gay and lesbian families are, in and of themselves, political. The level of political activity varies with each family, but in this George Bush era of using gay rights, gay marriage and gay adoption as wedge issues to create an "us vs. them" mentality, it's political when Adam and Steve show up at the White House with little Suzie in the stroller, even though they have just as much right to be there as their straight next door neighbors. Suzie is as much a part of the political statement as Adam and Steve's being openly gay. In fact, she is the statement.
As for the Queerty boys, I would just say that no, the kids didn't choose to participate in making a big gay showing at the White House, but what kid gets to choose what his parents decide to do as a family? African Americans were being political when they decided it was time to take their place at the front of the bus. When they moved up front, their kids came with them. Did their kids choose that? No. But they're no longer in the back of the bus.
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7 comments:
I have to say that I couldn't disagree with you more. Allowing children (at the appropriate age) to be exposed to differing religious and political views is one thing. Taking small children to events that they don't even have the ability to understand is another. What kind of a statement does that really make? If you have to pad your rally numbers with kids, that's just sad. Leave them with the babysitter and go make a political statement on your own time.
If we didn't live in such a small minded world, this wouldn't be an issue at all. But we do, so it is. Hopefully, with time, issues such as this will die down. Until then, the gay community has to fight for their rights, just as women did and just as African Americans did, until true equality is granted.
I do not believe that children of gay families are being used anymore than children of single and/or low income familes are being used to get food stamps or welfare. Low income families need that, of course, to support their children. If they lived alone, they could most likely support themselves. Is that using their children? No... it isn't. They just want their children to have a decent life. Gay parents want the same for their children.
I was at the Million Mom march a few years ago and it was awash in kids with their parents. Never heard a complaint about the kids being "used."
Are kids being "used" when their parents take them to a church they did not choose on Sundays? I don't think so.
Part of good parenting is actively sharing your views, beliefs, and passions with your kids... and balancing that with acceptance of their divergence from those values as they grow.
Tokenfemale -- unless you're just trying to stir it up, you're pretty off base here. Kids understand an Easter Egg roll just fine. They're just there to have a good time and roll some eggs in the grass. Last time I checked, the Easter Egg roll was for families with small children. I suppse one could show up at an Easter Egg roll without children to make a statement, but it would be like those lame college kids who still Trick-Or Treat...
It's not a statement for a straight family to go to the egg roll. But because our society is structured the way it is, gay families make a political statementwhen they attend. Every time they go shopping, go to church, do anything normal people do: political statement. If gay families followed your advice, they'd just have to return their children altogether, just to avoid making a political statement.
Doesn't matter who you are or what your orientation is, you should always take parenting criticism from people who don't have kids with a BIG grain of salt.
(In response to Queerty) So when I take my child to see the animals at the zoo, I'm using her to make a political statement? I suppose some might see it that way, but she just wants to see the elephants. Am I suppose to deprive her of every kid's desire just because someone might interpret that as activism. I think not.
And I completely agree with the statement, "In fact, [Suzie] *is* the statement." Yeah, the statement that GLBT families are just as normal as any other family.
Well written and thanks for the mention of our Brokebackmountainvermont.com
We'll accomplish our goal...it's just a matter of time.
John
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