Friday 28 April 2006

A Modest Gay Proposal

Every time I fly into National Airport, er, I mean, Ronald Reagan National Airport, I cringe a little and think about The Ronald Reagan Legacy Project. They are the group who have made it their mission to "honor the historic achievements of President Ronald Reagan" by "naming at least one notable public landmark in all 3,067 counties after the 40th president." 

Not surprisingly, these pesky Reagan fanatics have made quite a bit of progress. You wouldn't believe how many things they have succeeded in having named after the old Gipper.  You can read the list of accomplished renamings here, but get a load of what's on their radar screen for the future:

-- The Pentagon
-- The U.S. 10 dollar bill
-- Ronald Reagan Day (February 6, Reagan's birthday)
-- Ronald Reagan Memorial Highway (New Jersey Route 15)
-- 16th Street in Washington, D.C.

They think big. They inspire me, in fact, and cause me to remember the group of enthusiastic 'Brokeback Mountain' fans who are right now working to get a Vermont mountain renamed after their beloved gay cowboy flick.

Let's go for it! I say we merge the Vermont idea with Reaganesque fanaticism and start a movement today to honor the historic acheivement of 'Brokeback Mountain' by putting its gay name on an important landmark in every state in this great country of ours.

'Brokeback Mountain' is arguably one of the most visible gay cultural phenomena to date. The movie put gays on the map, or at least on a way bigger map than ever before, and so wouldn't it follow that we should leverage that and literally get ourselves on the map?

I propose that this be added to The Gay Agenda, tout de suite. Let's get the Gay Mafia working on it. HRC and The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force should integrate this into their fieldwork and mobilize the grassroots forces to get a "Brokeback Mountain" something in every state! We can do this, people. Start thinking of what landmarks you want.

For starters, may I suggest the following:

Brokeback Mountain National Park (formerly Yellowstone National Park)


These should be among the easier things to tackle, since Republicans don't care about national parks anyway (oil-rich Alaskan wilderness areas notwithstanding).


Brokeback Bucks (Formerly the Dollar Bill)


What's more American than two manly cowboys on our country's most popular denomination? I think it's very fitting, but if booting George Washington off disturbs you (as displacing Hamilton off of the 10 for Ronald Reagan might too), let's make that $3 bill a reality. Small children and immigrants might not know that the $3 bill is the queer one, so we'll put Jack and Ennis right on the front. It's getting harder to actually buy anything with $1 bills anyway -- especially gas, food, medical care and housing.


Brokeback Mountain Parkway (formerly California Highway 1)


Frankly, Reagan can HAVE all the gross grey highways in America, and we'll even throw in the exit ramps. But US Highway 1, the Pacific Coast Highway: that's queer country.


Join me in this quest for gay visibility through the renaming of notable public landmarks. Photoshop your own vision of a Brokeback Mountain future and either post it on your blog and e-mail me a link, or e-mail me your Brokeback image and I will post it here if it's good. 

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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

HE PROTECTED ALL OF OUR ASSES, GAY STR8, ETC. AS FAR AS BLAMING HIM FROM AIDS DEATH, I DONT THINK HE GAVE AIDS TO ANYONE

Anonymous said...

Well written and thanks for the mention of our Brokebackmountainvermont.com

We'll accomplish our goal...it's just a matter of time.

John

Anonymous said...

www.brokebackmountainvermont.com is a wonderful idea.  Please check out the site and lend your support.  Naming a mountaion after a movie that touched so many gay people in this country is not a joke.  It is a dream.  Please help make it a reality.  www.brokebackmountainvermont.com

Anonymous said...

Our great nation's 40th President, Ronald Wilson Reagan deserves every bit of the remembrance the landmarks named after him recall because of all that he did to create, rekindle and strengthen the glorious ideals of the founders of the U.S. Constitution first made, and that is called 'freedom and independence.' The author of this pathetic article (or should I say pathetic author?) obviously does not know American history very well, or if he does, adopted the liberal, left wing, wacko Democrats' twisted version of it. I mean this in all truth, honesty and sincerity.

Anonymous said...

whatever, that movie was hollywood you little fags.... you are still outnumbered.... keep humpin the dog

Anonymous said...

2 sad, closeted gay men...that's how we should honor ourselves?

Anonymous said...

you can't be serious?

two sad, unhappy, closeted gay men, one of whom is the victim of a fatal gay-bashing...

this is the image we should project?

it's a pathetic idea...

we should honor ourselves as proud, openly gay and lesbian men and women who refuse to be hidden and discriminated against...

i came out to my parents at 15...in suburban Ohio in 1974, not exactly a bastion of liberal thought...and since that time i have NEVER pretended to be anyone or anything other than what i am...a gay man...

Anonymous said...

I'd just like to represent all normal people of the world and say, for the redord, that I am neither scandalized by this post nor using your comment box to champion a ridiculous mission.  I simply appreciate your wit.