Monday, 8 May 2006

Gay Boyfriends: Paris Hilton Wants One, Tom Cruise Needs One

Paris Hilton, that doyenne of international glamour, made a shocking confession to Out magazine, according to Pink News: "I want a gay boyfriend."


"Gay guys are more fun and they dress better and they're usually hotter."


I have three things to say about that, Paris:

1) Duh. 

2) Pick up a copy of my friend Dave Singleton's book, 'Behind Every Great Woman There's a Fabulous Gay Man.' According to Dave, "Without gay men, who's going to make sure you don't end up marrying a loser, spending all your money on crappy home decor, looking like a reject from a bad 80s hair band, and spending the next fifty years entrenched in the core belief that losing those last five pounds will really change your life?"

So I guess, yes, it would be good if you got one. 

3) Tell you what: I'll trade you my totally hot husband in exchange for some time with your former beau, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos. He what? Stavros dated Mary-Kate Olsen before you? Never mind.


As Long as We're Going There ... You Will Agree that

Tom Cruise

Needs a Gay Boyfriend

When You 
See Him Dance (YouTube)


 

 

Comments | Worth Repeating: Home | AOL Gay & Lesbian

 

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Paris needs more than a gay boyfriend, but it's a start. Tom is beyond help.

Anonymous said...

Note to my super hot husband of 18 years: just joshing about swapping you, honey. You know I wouldn't trade you for the world. xxx KH, Editor

Anonymous said...

So your saying a straight man needs a gayboyfriend because of the way he dances?
Oh ...get a life of your own.
Who are you to say who needs what?
... and gay men are, 'So Mature' when it comes to calling, 'a spade', A Spade!
RIGHT....

Anonymous said...

Is there more surfacing about Tom's gay, Bi sexualities, as prior?

Anonymous said...

Lol ya tom cruise needs to get some tip tips on how to get down but u cant fault him for trying, I think everyman needs to get a gay friend

Anonymous said...

I don't think tom cruise will apreciate that comment or assumption.

Anonymous said...

Why on earth do you have have a link from Tom Cruise to a dead web site??  YouTube says that they are not in operation, so I see no need to a link to them.  

Not that I would ever care to see Tom Cruise dance, but it would seem that someone at AOL would be able to notice that this site is no longer amongst the living.

Anonymous said...

ronddenv -- not sure why you had a problem. i just checked the link and it's working fine.  Kenneth/Editor.

Anonymous said...

Apparently she must like think artists make for handsome gay company.  She is see with artist Jay Bernard at http://parishiltonartgallery.com

Anonymous said...

I have the best gay boyfriend in the world!  We are leaving for LA on Friday.  He just graduated from nursing school.  We have been best friends for about 5 years and we know we will be when we are old and using canes to get around.  It's funny to see other women be so jealous of me! because he is such a wonderful person.  I have had girls tell me they want a gay boyfriend too.
I'm so proud of you Lee.  Love you Always!!

Anonymous said...

Tom Cruise needs one?????

Anonymous said...

I tried the whole gay boyfriend thing. Unfortunately, I thought he was straight. It lasted nine days. Then he took me aside and told me he was "realizing a lot of stuff" about himself.

Oh.

I guess I should have picked that up when he told me his favorite song was "Don't Cha", by the Pussycat Dolls. I don't even like the Pussycat Dolls...

All in all, the moral of the story is: Don't date gay guys unless you're a strange, materialistic, plastic Paris-doll wannabe nymphomaniac and do stuff like that just for fun. If you actually care, it sucks.

Other than that, Paris can screw a pooch for all I care. What happens in the tabloids stays in the taboids...lol...I'll bet that's precisely what's next, bestiality...once she goes through this gayboy phase, what's she gonna do about her unstoppable sexual urges? She's already tried everything else...

Tommyboy definitely does need to be at least bi. It would make my life very, very happy. I can just imagine the triumphant moment of elation when I catch the headline out of the corner of my eye..."Tom Cruise Announces Bisexuality!!!!" Oh, the humanity...

Anonymous said...

How offensive. Not all gay men fit those stereotypes. How about a Jewish boyfriend to help you manage your money and a lesbian girlfriend to change your oil and rotate your tires? Stereotypes, positive or negative, are something people needn't be bound by.

Anonymous said...

PARIS....how bout u IM me @ Slapj2k - I'll be ur boyfriend n party hard wit u...if u can deal with jersey shore guysssss...

-jack

Anonymous said...

I like my gay friends, but I wouldn't want a gay boyfriend.  It wouldn't make sense.

But I do feel more comfortable around gay men than straight men.  Don't know why.

Anonymous said...

She's so stereotypical!.....I say we ban the dumb chick.  She's such a moron!!

Anonymous said...

You know what Paris?
I think no matter what you do you will probaly end up marrying the guy!

Anonymous said...

Well since Tom Cruise is coocking out, I'm thinking he was playing hard to get with Matt Lauer. He needs a boyfriend because thats what all gay guys want! And my friends, Tom Cruise is the gayest.

Anonymous said...

Paris' comments are right on the mark because of her influence (presumably on younger people).  She's paying gay people a compliment:  we're cool and we make good friends.  I think she's actually playing dumb while she laughs all the way to the bank.  YOU GO GIRL !!  Tom Cruise, you can retire and just GO away.

Anonymous said...

I will not miss the show either!!

Anonymous said...

IT SEEMS TO ME THAT TOM CRUISE IS TRYING TOO HARD TO BE A HUSBAND AND FATHER.....HMMMM!!!!     IS HE TRYING TO HIDE SOMETHING???

Anonymous said...

Tom has gone down hill, I don't believe a gay man would have him...well maybe for some sex, if he shut his mouth during...then kick him to the curve