Wednesday, 17 May 2006

This Week's Three, Er, Two Gayest Moments on 'American Idol'


Gayest Moment #1
Nice try, McPhee. If you think you can land the whole entire gay voting block by pulling the ol' Judy Garland trick, you ... Um ... Could be RIGHT.

Last night's 'Idol' was mind blowing. Katharine, who I pegged as a goner for sure, reached so deep inside herself to deliver what she hopes were a couple of life-saving numbers, that she could probably have reached THROUGH and tickled her own behind. Her rendition of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' -- partly sung a capella -- was stupendous. As the judges like to say, Katherine, you made it your own. It takes guts to sing Judy's signature song. It would have been a nice touch to add some ruby red glitter on those red pumps you wore, but you get an A for effort anyway.

Katherine may be one of the prettiest women on TV today. She is stunning. Not only was my hunky straight boyfriend (HSB) practically wetting himself in my living room every time she came on screen, my GAY HUSBAND was too. Kat -- you literally brought out the hetero in my homo. I thought he was over that.

So, yes, you get gay kudos for a great night.

I think it's still possible though, albeit now less certain, that you will go home tonight.

I'm worried about my man Elliott. Not because I think any less of his talents. I don't. He's the best singer on this show. But his song choices/assignments were just kind of  -- and I hate to use the "F" word, but --  flat.  Elliott, you know you could sing the phone book and I'd be in heaven, but this is the moment you need to pull it out, baby! Give the public some James Blunt or John Mayer -- something text-message worthy.

Elliott, I believe to my soul that you will prevail tonight. There. Let's see if that helps.

Taylor was so comfortable on stage, and sounded so good, that he made me uncomfortable. I think it's just nerves (mine) now that there's so much at stake. He's solidly in the Top Two, what with his "soul patrol" working those phone lines. (Although that's what we all said about Chris, right?)

Gayest Moment #2: Ryan Seacrest's Perfect Man Stubble



Ryan had a healthy, manly, face full of man stubble going on last night. There was a discussion in my living room about this. HSB immediately went to a George Michael reference, which is gayly commendable for my straight friend to seize upon. My husband was focused on the lengths to which Ryan went to have a perfectly coiffed man shadow. Someone in the room said it was almost as if he TIMED his stubble -- like that's a bad thing -- and I had to confess right then that I do that. I like doing a little man stubble once or twice a week, and OF COURSE I time it. If I want the perfect stubble, I shave exactly 36 hours before I need my beard at the perfect length. Not too long, not too short. I thought all gay men did this?

Gayest Moment #3: NOTHING.
Thanks SO Much, America, for Robbing Me of Chris Daughtry




Who knew that losing the biggest straight guy on 'Idol' would make the show less gay? If it's possible, 'American Idol' wasn't gay enough last night for me to spot at least three super gay moments. Chris' absence was felt. Last week Chris' sky-rocketing metrosexuality gave us ALL THREE of the gayest moments. Now, I get nothing from him. Chris, I really, really miss you, man.

One last thing, people. About 1,000 of you have again and again misquoted me in the comments on this blog and in e-mail you've sent to me saying that I said Chris Daughtry is GAY. For the record, I never, ever, no way, no how said Chris was gay. Do I wish he were? Yes. Is he adopting a few well-chosen gay qualities (manscaping, boxer briefs and $300 sunglasses)? Yes. But I never said he was gay.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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27 comments:

Anonymous said...

 After having seen Mandisa, Chris and now Elliot somehow and unbelievably voted off this what has become "caricature" of itself, I hate to say it but I truly believe the whole voting thing is a sham.  Lock, stock and barrel, this show is rigged and Simon Cowell has his fingerprint all over it.
 First there was Bucky and then Taylor.  Both of them somehow inexplicably survived as long as Bucky did and now Taylor beating out three of the best and most talented voices on AI?  Come on now, something is amiss.
 Could Simon covet the controversy?  Laughing all the way to the bank while he gets tongues wagging.  Thinking perhaps that making people angry when they can see the obvious and no one seems to know who votes to keep these one note wonders on?  
 Something is wrong with this show and it's not the voting.  It's the blueprint set out from the getgo to keep the ratings up.  
 Do I sound resentful?  I'm not really.  It's just somehow weird how things turned out and I can't do anything but not watch next year.  It's a decision I've made and I'm going to stick to it.  
 It's rigged.  Period.  The votes don't mean anything but money in the bank for the show.
 It's too bad, it started out as a great premise......

Anonymous said...

OKay, I do agree that this show is rigged...some what. But, I can finally ... sorta say that everything is right in the America Idol World. Sorry gayesteditorever, but Elliot is finally gone. First, to make myself credible, I am a college student studing music, and have performed live on many occasions, including walks for a non-profit organization in my area. (This is so that I don't sound like an a**)

Elliot has never been one of my favorites and never will be. He is almost never in-tune. Now, I know that to some people he sounds like it, but to my trained musical ear he isn't. He is always just a little off, which really gets to me. He tends to have a funny tone quality and his virbrato is plan annoying. I wont even get into his personality, because that is just the cherry on the sunday when it comes to why I don't care for Elliot. Now, please understand that I am not say that Elliot isn't a good singer, because he is, he's just not good enough to compete with at the same level as many of the Idols who have already been voted off.

Taylor is a true entertainer. He's funky...in a wierd kind of way.

Now my favorite, as I am sure you have guessed is Katherine. She is a fellow highly trained singer, and she deserves to win this thing. She has brilliant tone quality, wonderful vocal placement and she has wonderful control over her virbrato. She has a stars personality. My local radio station say bashing her the other day, because she has on attitude on Tuesday's show. Which I didn't see, and if she did she was not in the wrong. Out of the three judges there is only one whose opinion I, personally would rely on and that is Simon.

Now this is just my opinion, and as they say "to each his own."

Anonymous said...

CHRIS MAY NOT BE ON THE SHOW, BUT HE SURE IS IN ALL MY WET DREAMS.
NOW WE HAVE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.  CAN'T STAND THE BEAST, HICKS.

Anonymous said...

I think Chris Daughtry SHOULD NOT have gone home. Up here in Oklahoma I have been hearing that when people voted for Chris they heard Katherine McPhee's voice.

Anonymous said...

If you want to be QUEER, then be QUEER but leave the rest of us out of it.Comparing the contestants on American Idol to your GAY standards is just downright SICKENING, the show is called American Idol, not American FAGGOTS, if you would please stay to yourselves and leave the rest of STRAIGHT AMERICA out of your QUEERFESTS we will all be better off!

Anonymous said...

SOUL PATROL,SOUL PATROL,SOUL PATROL....Thats all I got to say..great on stage....Taylor Rocks...J.C tampa florida

Anonymous said...

What's up with all this ''gay" crap flying around the country???


Ok, I gotta ask...Is Chris "gay" or not?


If he is, fine, if he's not, drop the subject! It's getting on my nerves Bigtime!!!

Anonymous said...

Hope you win Kaatherine    Taylor is just to much jumping and

hollering no music  

He has no musical assets.....

Anonymous said...

Katherine is a great singer but I have to say Taylor is a little better. Come on Taylor win it for all us Alabamians. We Love You!!!

Anonymous said...

I agree that Katherine did a wonderful job singing "Over the Rainbow" but she absolutely DID NOT "make it her own." Her rendition was a definite and complete ripoff of Jane Monheit's recording of the song right down to every lick and variation of the melody-- even the a capella effect. Stolen! Plagerism at it's best! She totally lost me with this one!

Anonymous said...

Kat needs to go home. She thinks she is so beautifil, but she sucks with all her pride!!! Cris should have won the American Idol! But please Kat is the wrong one for that role! When you have so much pride for yourself it is sin!

Anonymous said...

Lev 18:22  Thou shalt not lie with mankinde, as with womankinde: it is abomination.
Lev 18:23  Neither shalt thou lie with any beast, to defile thy selfe therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie downe thereto: It is confusion.
Lev 18:24  Defile not you your selues in any of these things: for in all these, the nations are defiled which I cast out before you.
Lev 18:25  And the land is defiled: Therefore I doe visit the iniquitie thereof vpon it, and the land it selfe vomiteth out her inhabitants.

Anonymous said...

What's really f--king sad about this page is the people who use this to quote Bible verses, or Gay bash. I will NEVER understand why homophobes put themselves through the agony of READING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE. A cruder person than myself MIGHT assume that those people are latent homosexuals. (look it up, bashers. It's under L in the dictionary [which is a BIIIIG book with lots of definitions (what words mean) of words. And yes, there are some pictures] But that would be stereo-typing, wouldn't it?

Anonymous said...

Great show tonight!!!!  I wish both Kat and Taylor could win....though they are both winners anyway...as for that CONSTANCELYONS person making comments on here......whats your problem MORON!!!!! judge not, lest ye be judged!!!!!! Stick to your 700 Club, CBN, Jerry Falwell, or one of those blogs, if they have any, they are more for you honey....not in here!!!!!....don't come on here a PREACHIN!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, ConstanceLyons needs a life.  She's a true "fundamentalist" who thinks that the only valid Bible is the King James, part of a group of independent churches, most of which are more cult than Christian.  Most true Christians may believe it's a sin, but won't be on the attack.  Only the insecure among them are.

Anonymous said...

TylerMad - grow up.  If you want left out, why did you join in?  I'm sure you've ogled a woman or two counting her among your many fantasies, regaling your buddies with the details of what you'd do with her if you ever had the chance.  And, I'm fairly sure she'd not be thrilled being the about the object of YOUR attraction either.  It's no different, so look in the mirror and think before you speak next time, and stay out of where you don't want to be.

Anonymous said...

Uhhh, do you really watch every week?  Kat didn't pick the song, Simon did LAST week.  This was her second and not as great performance of the song.  And as any singer will tell you, "Rainbow" is a rather easily vocal to sing as far as talent goes. Hell, I can do a great job with it, and my talent is marginal.

Anonymous said...

Katherine, GO HOME!  Go look at yourself in the mirror or something.  She is WAY WAY too into herself.  You're not that pretty!  And you bore me to tears.  You sure don't deserve to win American Idol.  Taylor is okay but not worthy of winning either.  It's a shame that this show is now longer based on talent.  If it was, Chris would still be up there on stage.  He was the obvious from the very beginning.    I have always watched this show but I'm done.  

Anonymous said...

Re: Chris's Gay Styling

I am a 54 yr. old straight mother of two so forgive me if I misinterpret this.  Is it possible that whomever does the styling for the idol contestents is gay?  (And whomever picked that purple jacket for Taylor the other night had to be blind, as well.)

Anonymous said...

Kat did a great job every week. She and all the other female singers were forced to participate in a male vocal conest, Imagine all the male contestants singing tunes from Barbara, Whittney, Pat Benatare, Jewel, Pink..Or Paula( remember her?) It would of been a different contest and a different set of finalists, and Taylor would not be in it! Unless he also does karaoke to drag... Paula needs some duct tape placed on her mouth.. ENOUGH! she has to go! They would be better off giving her a vibrator every time a male performed... She was so sexist and always will be. Ever since Randy perdicted a male would win... Well they did everything to make it happen...the comments became nasty and unpleasant to watch... appologizing after the voting is too late. We will see who is going to buy what artist after all the voting is done, Maybe Taylor could share a cover with Chicken Little! BORING!!!! Kat and the Womyn will succed....

Anonymous said...

please tell me why everyone thinks katt can sing?  she sqeaks and squawks when she goes too high  or too low and i'm not talking about a big range here people--to even begin to compare her to kelly clarkson is an insult to kelly and my ears.  she also missed words many times and didn't get called for it.  it makes me wonder with her home base in hollywood, who is pushing her to the top? who is behind her? yes, yes i know many men want to be and maybe some are????.......

Anonymous said...

Gay isn't something that crossed my mind while watching Chris.....only 'please God get him off of this show'!!  He was definitely one of the most BORING and PREDICTABLE contenders AI has ever had!

Anonymous said...

WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE LEAVE RYAN  SEACREST ALONE. AS A GAY MAN I  FIND
IT MEAN SPIRITED TO SAY ALL THE THINGS THEY DO ABOUT HIM. I THINK ALL
THESE FINGER POINTERS ARE JEALOUS OF HIS GOOD LOOKS AND CHARM. IF HE'S GAY IT'S HIS BUSINESS AND WHEN HE'S READY TO COME OUT HE WILL.
FROM WHAT I SEE THE YOUNGER GENERATION NEEDS TO BUTCH IT UP A BIT.
EVEN THE ONE'S THAT THINK THEIR'S SO MASCULINE SO TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THEMSELVES. I DON'T THINK IT SERVERS A PURPOSE TO OUT SOMEONE
UNTIL THEIR READY TO BE OUTED. IT COULD DESTROY THAT PERSONS LIFE.
SO PLEASE LEAVE RYAN SEACREST ALONE.
DON DANIEL
FRAMINGHAM, MA

Anonymous said...

You gay people are so filthy and sick ling.

Anonymous said...

Gay isn't something to be ridiculed by saying something was "gay".  I absolutely abhore the use of the word "gay" in this manner.  "Oh that's so gay".  Carson Kressley is gay.  Melissa Etheridge is gay.  Mary Cheney is gay. Rosie O'Donnell is gay.  Elton John is gay.  I'm gay.  Nothing that HAPPENS is gay.  Gay used to mean happy.  My grandmother used the word that way.  Now, it means being homosexual.  Unless one of the contestants on Idol is gay...we should not be referring to anything on the show as GAY.  It's offensive.

Anonymous said...

Well Chris isn't gay but his brother is.

McPhee doesn't have the consistency to be an AI.

So we're left with Taylor - he's consistent but underwhelming.  Let's put him up against Fantasia or Kelly or even Ruben or Clay.  Are you kidding me?  Any average singer could do what he did.  LEVON in the finale??  A difficulty factor of -1.

Anonymous said...

you can't see taylor hick's presentation on records and katherine has a better recording voice....so how about that