Is James Bond a Bottom?

Catching up on movies over the holidays, I finally got to see the Bond film this week. That was two days ago, and I'm still hot and bothered.

Daniel Craig is one hottie, no doubt about it. He exudes sex appeal in every scene, looks great in his tailored tuxedos and even better out of them.

If you haven't seen it, make sure you do and try to see it in the theater if you can. It's really the best way to fully appreciate the speedos, tight slacks and rippling everything that Daniel Craig has to offer, though I'm sure there will be plenty of freeze-framing going on in the homes of gay men everywhere when it comes out on DVD.

If you haven't seen writer/blogger Mark Simpson's write-ups on all things Daniel Craig and James Bond, you need to. Simpson, the man who coined the terms "metrosexual" and "sporno" is one of my favorite gay thinkers. His wit, sarcasm, incisive observations and general smartassery about the world never fail to make me think -- and that includes three excellent pieces he wrote about the new Bond. I love seeing Daniel Craig and James Bond through Mark Simpson's eyes. You will too.

"For the first time it’s entirely possible to imagine Bond sleeping with a man – especially if it meant he would get something he wanted. Not least because Craig’s Bond is clearly MI6’s rent boy.

Speaking of which: The main sex scene in the film, and certainly the most explicit, features Craig being tortured in the buff in a rusty dungeon (or is it a back room in a gay leather bar?) by the evil Mr Big who pauses to compliment him on his physique.  Craig sits strapped bollock naked in a rim chair while his (unseen but vividly imagined) blond bollocks are bashed with a big ugly heavy knotted rope.  Although in agony, he appears to actually enjoy the experience and eggs his torturer on: ‘To the righta bit!’  When the rope thwacks his gonads even harder and repeatedly he yells: ‘YESSSSSSSSSSS!’.  All in all, he comes across as a classic Pushy Controlling Bottom." (See 'Bashing Bond’s Blond Bollocks')

Even before he saw the film, Mark Simpson "reviewed" it for OUT magazine, focusing mainly on Craig as the new Bond:

"[The British popular press and Bond fanboys] complain about all sorts of supposed failings, including that he required coaching to handle a gun and play poker, and that he snogged another male on film (as Francis Bacon’s lover in Love Is the Devil and also in Infamous). Apparently, you see, he’s 'not manly enough' to play cinema’s most famous action hero. Essentially, they’ve got their off-white tighty whities in a twist because Bond has gone metrosexual."  (See 'James Bond Comes Out')

In another article, Simpson rates each of the Bond men according to their "gayness, Bondness and shaggability." Sean Connery scores a perfect 10 in all three, while Pierce Brosnan ranks the lowest. Simpson scores Daniel Craig off the chart on his gayness factor: 'Shagging Mr. Bond.'

All that to say "thanks" to Mark Simpson for translating Craig/Bond for a gay audience in a way that entertains and informs. I only disagree with Simpson on two points: 1) Simpson thinks Craig has an ugly face. I don't. I could easily vacation with that face. And 2) I don't think Craig's Bond is a bottom; he's versatile (if there's a God).

For my money, Daniel Craig is the greatest James Bond ever. Like a lot of straight guys today, he knows other men slobber over him and he's cool with it -- likes it, even. He knows beefcake sells and he sells it. Daniel Craig can kiss Toby Jones/Truman Capote in 'Infamous' and go on to be a sex-god James Bond and everyone buys it. He's thoroughly modern, a James Bond for our times.  

 

Tags: James Bond, Casino Royale, Daniel Craig, Gay, Mark Simpson