SFGate.com has a piece today about what writer Wyatt Buchanan describes as conversations gay men are having about their "goals and values."
Focusing on San Francisco, Buchanan interviews a variety of men who are looking for something more meaningful than hook-ups and the pressure to be young and beautiful. He quotes one community organizer who talks about the emphasis gay men place on sex over romance/friendship:
"Over and above, people were saying they really have this longing for a sense of community (and) that they feel everything is fractured, that everybody is paranoid, and nobody is having fun,"
Another man he interviews has started a new dating-focused (as opposed to hook-up-focused) personals Web site where singles can only post photos in which they are fully clothed. Buchanan calls it "more MySpace than Manhunt."
From programs at the gay community center to salon-esque discussion about the POZ-negative dating divide, gay men in the City by the Bay are seeking more meaning in their lives. Buchanan points out that the feeling isn't necessarily unanimous; other gay guys see the movement as holier-than-thou, bordering on the policing of sexual freedom.
Thoughts?
See 'SAN FRANCISCO: A Deepening Challenge for America's Gay Men, New Movement Looks for More in Identity, Relationships'
6 comments:
If the gay male community wishes to be viewed as a unified body, then yes I think it does need a serious makeover. Part of the difficulty in getting pro-gay legislation passed in our hometowns is due to the ease with which opponents can show how divided we are.
I think we need to find away to see that we can respect the sexual/social/political diversity of our own community while supporting the larger picture of equal civil rights and positive imagery that gay men (especially the next generation) deserve to have readily available. The selfish backbiting done by gay men who feel that "that is not my issue" is only a form of self-hate that hurts everyone.
Amen!!! Sexual Freedom is what got us the mess we were and still are in. There is nothing wrong with any ones proclivities, how ever that is a small part of what makes us all who we are. Here is a question....Why is it at every GAy Pride Aprade, they show the seven foot tall Puerto Rican Drag queen is ass less pants, but refuse to show, the gay policemen, EMTs Fire men etc???
I am of the beleive we are our own worst enemy, we need to embrace all aspects of our people to have a community, not just the weirdos.......
San Francisco is a odd ball city to be a gay man, which is a surprise to many. I lived there while going to graduate school, and was easier to get a date in a samll town in North Dakota. If, you want the proverbial "hook-up" easy as all out, it seems as though many still want the good old days of free love. I was there when AIDS was at its height, and, it changed over for a while with guys looking for "relationships," but, its since changed back. I have to wonder, are gay men able to settle down, or is it part of the nature to want to just keep keping it fresh when geting some action?
We need to form a national political group! We need to address "our" issues across the United States. We need to take these steps before 2008 and "hate" makes a stronger comeback.
Let us all unite and find common ground.
Call your local gay papers and magazines. ask them to start pulling our whole community together, they are one common factor that can pull this together and speak out for so many of us.
This would -should-be our "Identity Makeover".
This raises some interesting and difficult issues.
When we talk about 'culture' in my line of work (Diversity Education), we're usually talking about core assumptions, worldviews, norms, and values that are passed on to people at a very young age (i.e., Asian culture, African-American culture, American culture, messages about gender roles, etc.). Gay people still don't actively identify as such until after puberty (when their other cultural norms have long been cemented in their heads) and generally don't affiliate with a larger gay community until they leave home, and many never really associate with different generations of gay people -- and therefore, it shouldn't surprise us that as a community, we're more fractured than communities based on ethnicity. The 'gay culture' (such as it is) reinvents itself every ten years with no help from those who came before -- and then we scratch our heads and wonder why young gay men are barebacking ... because they didn't live through the 80's and no one is telling them those stories. There's definitely a culture, but it's weak in that it's transient, short-lived, and has no memory.
I think that part of the 'answer' (if there is such a thing) is getting the generations that make up the gay community to meet each other somehow. I'm very lucky in that regard, but I don't know many others like me (who have wonderful gay friends who are 25+ years their senior). And y'know what -- I don't know any gay people in their early 20's -- so a fat lot of good it does the larger community.
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