PerezHilton.com
Is anyone else even SLIGHTLY bothered by the latest gay craze: Blogging celebrities over the head until they come out? I hate it. If you clicked on the headline above -- out of habit or because you think you're supposed to -- you're part of the problem.
What I can't decide is if the new outing tactic is merely the latest evidence of society's obsession with tabloid-style news/infotainment, or if it is helping to force a whole new gay paradigm for a not-too-distant future when there's no such thing as outing. In other words, is outing taking us a step closer to a time when talking about the gay love life of whomever is no longer even "outing," it's just another matter-of-fact element of who they are?
I can see a case being made for the latter. If we gay people say there's no shame in being gay, why should it be defamatory to call someone gay? And therefore, outing isn't hurting anyone, right? I do believe that day will come, but I don't think outing people Enquirer-style is how we will get there.
When, where and how to come out remains a very personal decision, and most people believe there's a certain amount of respect for privacy that should be accorded to when, where and how people disclose their sexuality (or not). But what if you're in the public eye? The recent rash of outings raises the issue of whether public personalities are allowed to maintain any privacy when it comes to their sexuality, or if they forfeit it completely in today's information age.
My answer: It depends.
Anti-gay crusaders or politicians are mostly fair game. I say mostly because even in politics, there is nuance. For example, do we out an elected official who is married, mostly votes with the gay community, but is spotted on the arm of a male friend in a gay bar? He's not hurting the gay community, so why is it our job to out him? Ted Haggard, on the other hand, preached against gay people six days a week, and on the seventh day got down and dirty with a male escort. Haggard's hypocrisy begged to be exposed; it's wholly appropriate to out and exploit his behavior.
It
gets a lot more murky when it comes to celebrities. I find the current celebrity
outing craze more than a little nauseating, and yet even the mainstream media
seems to be embracing blogger Perez Hilton's new take-no-prisoners style of
outing entertainers. (See today's news: 'Knight, Harris Outings a Product of the
Times.') Perez Hilton (real name: Mario Levanderia) takes credit for outing Lance Bass and, to some extent, Neil Patrick Harris. Perez's newfound outing specialty even prompted Reichen Lehmkuhl (Lance's boyfriend) to coin a new term, "lanced," meaning outing someone via the media.
"Lance" is defined in the dictionary as "prick or cut open with a lancet or sharp object," which is probably about how it feels when Perez is Photoshopping smartass commentary onto a photo of you because your name happens to be Neil Patrick Harris, even though you're doing nothing more than walking down the street with a cup of Starbucks coffee minding your ownbusiness.
Perez claims that his actions are motivated by his dedication to the fight for gay equality:
"Today [the day that Neil Patrick Harris said he's gay] is another step towards full equality under the law for gays and lesbians, their relationships and their families. We are so proud (despite the naysayers) in having a hand in bringing about change. We've said it before and we will say it again: the closet no longer exists if you are a celebrity or a politician!"
In that particular blog post, Perez went on to publish his hit list, listing 11 celebrities by name whom he plans to harrass out of the closet. None of the names was an Earth-shattering surprise. Reading the list, I couldn't help but think: Is this really how we are going to win "full equality under the law" -- by blog-stalking, humiliating and making fun of actors because they aren't as out as we want them to be?
Is the closet an awfully confining space in which to
live? Yes. Is it great that Lance, T.R. Knight, Neil Patrick Harris are out?
Yes. Do I want more and more celebrities to come out? Yes. Every gay person who
is out helps make our community more visible. But unless a celebrity is
virulently anti-gay, I don't believe they should be forced out of the closet via
open-season witch hunts for no other reason than because we say
so.Artists should come out when they are ready, and be allowed to maintain some bit of separation between their work and their private lives if they so choose. I don't believe artists should be subjected to the whims of bloggers who use gossip and mean-spirited bitchiness to drive traffic totheir Web sites to increase their advertising revenue and to build up their own celebrity on the backs of people who have done nothing to deserve it.
But that's just me.
36 comments:
I guess my thought is that even though Lance Bass, Neil Patrick Harris or any other "closeted" celebrity isn't doing any disservice to the gay community, they do benefit from the acceptance and discretion the gay community has afforded them until now while doing nothing to further the cause of making it acceptable to be openly gay in this society. In a way, they are living openly but only our community seems to really know it. With the power of technology at the hands of people like Perez Hilton (who I personally find distasteful), its no wonder this happens. You can't have your cake (and isn't Reichen a yummy piece of cake) and eat it too. If we all bear the burden that comes with being openly gay, nor would I have it any other way, then they should bear it as well. I guess my issue is that these people to some degree were open about their sexuality. They had boyfriends and were being seen together in public in settings that inferred such. If some blogger or tabloid picks up on it, they cannot blame anyone but themselves.
It is nice however to see them embrace it. I'd imagine it is a relief for them. And the more that do come out, the more acceptable it will be. I mean really, who can hate Doogie Howser, MD?
I'm one of those fence-sitters, who thinks that you shouldn't out anyone unless they're doing harm to the gay community. So -- Ted Haggard and Mark Foley: fair game. Neil Patrick Harris and Lance Bass: not so much, according to me. The problem is that others place that line in a different place. According to some, an actor who *could* be out and therefore serve as a positive role model in a world where Haggard and Foley dominate the press, but *choose* not to are guilty of a sin of omission and deserve to be outed.
To me, the big positive is the way that both Lance and Neil handled their outings -- with dignity, class, and no shame whatsoever. Whether you or I like it might be irrelevant; we live in the Information Age, and it's not just celebrities who have to be careful. All of us should do whatever we can to make sure that we're not too awfully ashamed of what's in our closets, because we live in a time when what's private may not be for long ...
Look up the word GAY in the dictionary. Means being happy.Has nothing to with being QUEER, These people are queer's. I'm Gay!
Perez a crusader for gay equality? I don't think so. He is merely a scrapper for tabloid celebrity. Nonetheless, in an age when anyone of some notoriety is dissected under the microscope of the media, it would be best not to have too many skeletons for the scalpel to lay bare.
If I choose to have sex with a man or a women, If I choose to have kinky sexy or soft loving sex ...It's my business and I really dont care what you do in your bedroom....So why is it so important to know what and with whom a person of fame might be or not be doing It there business and for all of the bloggers outting people WE REALLY DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFES ......LEAVE OTHER ALONE
No one but other homosexuals is interested in knowing this kind of information. It is very private and no one has a right to destroy someone else's life by "outing" him or her in that fashion. The truth is once it is known you will never be thought of or seen the same way again. It does change how people feel about you or view you. So it must be a decision made by the person whom it will affect. I think this "outing" business is evil and mean spirited. That being said I find the entire scene utterly disgusting and feel sorry for who have chosen this lifestyle.
As an out gay man, I find it "unhealthy" to keep sexual orientation a secret. However, the choice must come from the gay person himself/herself and not the result of some publicity-seeking hound like Perez Hilton, who exploits others' sexuality for his own gain and NOT the gain of the community in general. As one poster said earlier, I can only hope for a world in which one's sexual orientation is not even an issue. But until we get to that day, let people out themselves. If there IS a reason to out another person, then it might be for those individuals (the Roy Cohns and Ted Haggards of our world) who are homosexual and destructively homophobic at the same time.
Who cares! I'm not planning to try and sleep with any of them!
Come out, come out, wherever you are! If most people only knew.
Gay, not gay who the hell cares??!! Do I run around spouting off at the mouth about my sexual preferences? Ummno, want to know why? Because nobody cares. I don't care who is gay and who is not, if they can act and put on a good show I like them, if they have no talent I have no use for them. Yes, there are gay people out there poor ones, middle class ones and upper class ones, deal with it get over it and get on with it people.
I'm straight, but I have a gay brother and a gay son. I really get angry with all the outings. What people do in their private lives is their business. I don't care who is gay or not. Neil Patrick Harris is a good actor, and a hoot on his tv show. I emailed this Hilton person and told him I thought it was wrong. Can't celebrities have ANY private life? If they want to admit it, fine. If they don't, fine. Wonder what this Hilton guy has in HIS life that he's hiding?
I am gay, but I hang out with mostly straight people, they couldn't care less about my sexuality, but some get teased for hanging out with the "fag". Well, you know what, it isn't anyones business what I do behind closed doors. My friends know that I am self concious about it, I don't want someone to hate me just for who I like, and there are going to be people who do. Just let me live my life and I will let you live yours. As long as you don't try and hurt someone for what they are, it isn't hurting you. Who someone else prefers has no business in the public eye unless they feel uncomfortable with themselves. And then once they tell people "hey you might see me out with my boyfriend, don't make a big deal out of it, I am still a human being, and deserve to be able to go out on a date without everyone flipping out about it." We should just move on.. otherwise it becomes a publicity stunt and everyone will be doing it just for ratings.
Disgusting Intrusion: "We have the right to know!"--to know what?--if you pick your nose in private?-if you kiss your lover's feet?
The mistake here is that the outer thinks it's all about him/her, when in fact such a tiny tattletale is quit peripheral, though also damaging. If people want to come out, great. If not, great. Let people have control over their own lives. Naveljack
I will assume that Perez Hilton has some very dirty little secrets in his closet. I will assume this, because regardless of his maintaining that he is facillitating the coming out of gays of high profile, he is obviously disingenuous.
Why would anyone feel the need, the mission, to intrude into the private lives of others, regardless of the level of profile they keep, and "out" them to a world at large who does not know them beyond their public profile.
Schadenfreude, Mr. Hilton. Schadenfreude. Nothing less. You are simply a male, I would never call you a man, who delights in the discomfort of others.
Your stance is not noble, it is shameful. Who put you in charge of the emotions of others? Whatever pathetic road you have travelled that has brought you to this moment in your life, cannot excuse the wanton havoc you delight in reaping.
Simply put.............you are clearly, wretchedly unhappy, and so you project your unhappiness onto others. Oh yes, you can put forth your snide protestations of how you have the right to do this, but we all know that is not so.
I'm sorry you are so self-loathing. I am sorry, because you have chosen to toy with others, rather than heal yourself.
I have supported gay causes for a very long time. One of the causes I support, is their right to privacy.
I applaud those who choose to be openly gay. I applaud those who choose to maintain their privacy. One is not superior over the other.
Next time you have an urge to engage in your schadenfreude, take a long look in the mirror.............and have a good cry.
I certainly think that the actors who were outed showed infinitely more class than Perez Hilton could ever muster. The consensus seems to be that closeted homophobes deserve it, and I don't object to that point of view at all, Haggard in particular. Otherwise, for all others including those in the public eye, it's nobody's business unless they choose for it to be or engage in some type of behavior that warrants publicity.
Tittering about who's gay and who's not is an ancient gay community pastime. We talk amongst ourselves, but don't, for the most part, shout it out in a public forum. However, the idea that a gossipy twit like Hilton has some sort of bully pulpit and self-ordained right to divulge this sort of information is an unfortunate downside of the Web 2.0 world we are entering. The self-indulgence of the blog phenomenon, while interesting and useful in many contexts, does give a platform to anyone to spout their own points of view, including homophobes, extremists, and outing-o-philes.
Yes, life would be wonderful if we all felt safe enough to come out and live an honest life without fear. We are not there yet and hopefully will get to that point in small, incremental steps. We don't need to be pushed by those folks with no stake in or responsibility for the outcome. Let's hope that Mr. Hilton is close to the end of his 15 minutes of fame and will fade into the obscurity he richly deserves.
i totally AGREE with most all of the comments. celebrity or not, it's no one's decision to OUT,or, now, (lance),anyone; for any reason. the only reason this Perez person is doing it , to benifit his own perverted self serving agenda. actually, it makes me sick. i know how these good folks feel, in my own degree,(although,i'm not a celebrity), because i was outed,as well, when i particularlly wasn't ready at the time: but lucky for me, my situation turned out ok. but, mostly for the reason, that i AM NOT a celebrity. if more people circle the wagons to protect ourselves & each other against this kind of stuff; we will do us all a favor. this mr. perez is now a very popular person. but; mr. perez, popularity is a double edged sword. (GOOD & BAD) !! Hitler, Bin Laden and Sadam are also POPULAR. popular only means that you're well known. mr. perez i know who & what you are now; and i dont like what i see. sincerly, ApolloRawXXX
I disagree...celebrities create social acceptance, they shape ideals and can often influence opinion and when that is manipulated by Public Relations experts and the press by presenting false images it simply perpetuates a society that accepts lies as truth and what does that say about us? We have seen how hiding the truth at one level (which really has no direct effect on its public) spreads to more important areas such as government and our religious institutions until lieing becomes the norm and an acceptable solution to social issues... If celebrities (and politicians and religious leaders) who are gay DON'T WANT to accept the responsibility of tellling the TRUTH about themselves, they should choose another career or walk bravely into the spotlight and stop trying to pull one over on the very people that support those careers...We outlawed false advertisement because it co-ersed the public into buying products that didn't deliver...If celebrities ONLY sold us their characters in films and television that's one thing...but these people are making millions for the companies perpetuating lies about them who in turn make millions from their magazines and advertised products and franchise items....I'm TIRED of being lied to by by politicians and by religious leaders...and by these priviledged elite and the people they hire to protect their status...I have a GREAT deal of respect for the artists like T.R. Knight and Neil P. Harris, Rosie, ellen, Portia etc. They are brave and THEIR careers certainly HAVE NOT been damaged!!!! Looking forward to the same honesty, bravery and truths from the likes of Clooney and Jen Anniston and Andrea Bendawald and possibly Cruz and SO many others!!!
I had to take Ex Lax, it was hard to come out. *Grunt*
Celebrities should be outed. I commend Perez for doing it as I had done it also in the past. I outed Chasity Bono, but only after her people stole film out of my camera to insure I would not get any pics. So I went on TV and outed her. People in the closet live a lie and make us believe they are someone they are not. How many teen suicides can be prevented from everyone coming out. Kids grow up thinking there is something wrong with them because there are no famous role models. As for Perez gunning for Anderson Cooper and Jodie Foster,he is right, they are as Perez would put it, GAY GAY GAY. I plan on outing people on my website www.TimesSquareGossip.com , not for ratings, but because its right for the cause!
Oh please .you are giving this "Person ??" far too much attention, for that,s what he is looking for, attention ! with no talent or life of his own he feels we need this information,??? did he ever stop to think of the hurt he may cause everyone ? and who gave hhim the right to decide what I need to know, this "Boy " should remember, "you reap what you sow" things have a way of coming back at you,... He need to get a life of his own and take responsibility for the hurt he has caused others, I,m a 75 yr young grandmom and I will choose what I want to take up space in my head ..and he is GONE >>>> let now thank the many talented people who have given us so much enjoyment in the work they do.. minimom
I personally think that there is no reason for a celebrity to have to "come out" to the world just because they are gay. I mean they not walking around "coming out about being straight. That is none of our business if they are or not. If you gay more power to you. But I don't see what the big deal is. It doesn't change the type of person they are so what is the prob? But that is my opinion, so there.
-Miss Krys-
homosexuals are degenerates.they suck....leave the normal people lieave normal pe alone.how can anyone justify homosexual s.keep them of the screen.
A Blogger to out someone.....NO...........the Blogger is just trying to bring attention to themselves.............The ceb may have their own reason for staying in.........think about it.....maybe just maybe NPH.....wanted to get really HUGE on this show...hes had a huge show before...and was basc a teen......maybe had not come to terms with who he was....BUT maybe just maybe he wanted this to be a HUGE show......and THEN come out...to show everyone..SEE....I grew up I have the #1 show and ya still love me...then Most Americans would have voted with their clicker...BUT a Freakin Blogger has to get a little press and try to get attention......kinda sad......let the celbs who are come out in their own way....EXCUSE me GAY AMERICA.....did not most of us who are out and proud do it in our own way ....or time?.....A few were outed but for the most part we found out who we were and came out...Celbs are no differetn esp young ones...they are finding themselves....WHY should some no talent Blogger get credit.....IF they were a celb or someone preaching hate and such..ok out em.............IF they are minding their own business...let em come out on their OWN time
I cannot WAIT until this out fade is over!!! I am sick and tired of this OUTTING phrase of gays. When will we be able to move past gay lifestyles, needs and desire and on to life's normalcies? Come out!! BE OUT! LIVE HOWEVER you so desire - but, please......puhleeeeeeeeeeeeez surely there is more to life.
What is the big deal about being gay and an actor? Consider the other possibilities that would be far more serious. The professional athlete making money by writing a book about how he would have committed his wife and her friend's murder? A politician who condemned homosexuals, yet actively had homosexual sex, and then blame it upon being abused? Also, if the pastor of a church admits to homosexual acts and purchasing crystal meth to coerce the person is more innocent than people who choose to love whom they do, yet not draw attention to themselves nor hurt anyone else, but have to deal with people who "out" them, those people need to realize they are hypocrites. The actors who have openly admitted to using illegal drugs? The get preferential treatment, more-so than unfamous people. What happened with Paris Hilton being stopped and cited for drunk driving? Then there is the fact that under-aged "celebrities" are able to get into clubs where only people supposedly 21 and over are able to enter, yet they ( the minor famous people, which is an oxymoron) are served drinks!!! Get a grip on life, people!!!! Defy injustice, vote (otherwise you have no opinion), and stop trying to persecute people for something that doesn't even involve humanity, hurt anyone, and especially does not involve YOU!
All gays and lesbians should come out of the closet,that way other gays and lesbians would know who also thinks their way.And maybe a big purple G tattoo on their forehead could identify them too the 90% of the world that is straight.
I don't care to know that they suck dick and bump donuts! its there life and not the publics.
Seems to me that's it's not this guy's place to bring someone's private life to the public spotlight. If he pushes the wrong person too far, he might get his brains blown out someday.
I don't know why some media outlets (e.g., Reuters and AOL) are giving Perez Hilton this kind of publicity. This man is scum who isn't interested in any noble causes beyond furthering his own fame and lining his own pockets. If sexuality shouldn't matter, then it shouldn't matter--to anyone. By publicly and viciously outing people (including "outing" people who aren't gay), he's doing his part to make sure that on the contrary, everyone perceives being gay as some kind of disease.
I think he needs to mind his own damned business and leave other people alone. Hes making a career out of 'outing' people; you dont have another position in life? Come on. Put all that energy somewhere else, geez.
I think it is good thinking on their part (Gay celebrities). To have some stranger (media) come out for them. I could care less weather they are gay or not. Just as long as they don't make it a part of their whole career. (Ellen and Rosie) Just be yourself, and do whatever makes you happy. I don't announce to the whole world Im hetrosexual. People could care less. These actors have talent and it does not change my opinion about them.
Speaking as a straight woman, I was outraged by the hypocracy of the evangelical leader and quite pleased that he was outed. In the (perhaps paraphrased, but unintentionally) words of Jon Stewart, "It's pretty bad when you have to cede the moral highground to a drug-dealing prostitute." As far as Rock Hudson goes, he always left me rather cold; I never understood his attraction. Watching his films, I observed a distance between him and his leading ladies. When, after his death, it was revealed that he was gay, I understood the distance that always was evident; consequently, I liked him better. So, it's not necessarily the case that, after being outed, a heart-throb will lose credibility and following. He may gain, by being revealed.
i meant BUT the majority of the ppl...gay people that is...***
WHAT THE HELL????? SOME YOU PPL ARE STRAIGHT UP WRONG!!!
why does this gya thing have to be so controversial!???? just like straight ppl arent all the same, neither are gay people in that matter! yes , some the flamboyant ones aare a littrle much too much too handle, and are straight up snobs, the MAJORITY of gay ppl, who are closeted or whateevr, cant come outbecuz straight ppl are too busy stereotypign them to be flamboyant superficial snobs, when thats NOT what the rest of the population is!!! and NO being gay does NOT automatically mean u suck dick and bump "donuts"!!! what the HELL is up with that!!!!
I'm with you!!! Being outed is a rotten crappy dispicable thing to do to anyone! Remember what your grandmother might have said, 'Two wrongs do not make a right'.
And your grandmother might have also said, "Honey, your peepee doesn't go THERE?"
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