In
a poll on AOL Gay and Lesbian, we
asked readers if they are out to their primary care physician. Nearly half of
the 7,000+ people who responded said "No."
My question is,
why not? I'm kind of blown away by this number. It's really important for your
doctor to know who is in and out of your nooks and crannies.
I'd be interested to hear people's stories about coming out
(or not) to doctors, and what the barriers are to doing so. Is it fear about confidentiality? Plain ol'
embarrassment about sex? Are women less
likely to feel safe coming out? Post a comment and let's talk about
it.
If you're looking for tips on what to say or
how to find an understanding physician, check out this video from HRC, the
Mautner Project, the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, and the National
Coalition of LGBT Health.
More
Resources:
How Coming Out Can Affect Your
Healthcare (Metro Weekly)
Should You Tell Your Doctor You're
Bi? (Bi Magazine)
Transgender: Talking to Your
Doctor
(Firelily.com)
15 comments:
Not out to mine....honestly, scared of subpar care...where I live....that is very possible.
Yes, I'm out to my doctors. I found the one I have now through the GLBT office on campus (a great place to start if you live in a university town). He is straight but is absolutely terrific and very gay friendly. I found my previous one in Boston by asking the BF of a close friend whom I knew to be a physician for a "consultation" and then getting a referral to a gay-friendly doctor--in this instance he referred me to an excellent gay doctor.
I am out to my primary doc (my gyn), but I'm not so sure she understood what I was saying! Nearly every time I see her, she asks when the last time was that I had intercourse! (Maybe she just means "sex" but, to me, "intercourse" is what str8 couples do.) And of course there's the questions about birth control, although those are generally asked by her assistant, whom I haven't come out to. (I just say "I don't need that" and leave it at that.)
I am one of the lucky ones here, my doctor is gay... it made coming out much easier
Coming out to my primary care physician was no problem. His nurse practicioner was another story. She felt it was her duty to preach about family values during my visit. I complained and she no longer works there. :-)
I think that your doctor can tell, especially if you are of a certain age and have had certain tests! One should tell his or her doctor, but, just like in the "real" world, sometimes you just don't feel comfortable and, depending on where you live, it makes it even more so. this I know from my own personal experiance.
I know I shuld probably come out to my M.D. When i was sexually active I think it was more of an issue, but since I'm not so active anymore, I kind of focus on things all men can get. he can probably clue me in to things I may not be aware of in the gay community as far as protecting myself. I always ask for an HIV test whenever I'm there, so maybe he already knows. I don't know. I think it would be kind of awkard for the both of us.
in my opinon the main reason is insurance cost
I answer honestly when a doctor asks me about my sexual activity, but in the future I'm not sure if I will. Every single time I have been honest with a doctor here in NYC I am immediately made to feel like an enormous AIDS risk. On several occasions a doctor has angrily attempted to harass/guilt me into taking an HIV test, which I do not feel is appropriate when I have come there for a sprained wrist. I understand where they are coming from and that it's important to get tested, but taking an HIV test is a very personal decision that nobody should be harassed or guilted into, especially when their sexual activities (or lack thereof) put them at little or no risk for contracting HIV.
I don't think that I have had that problem in recent years. I am Transgendered/Transexual currently going through HRT (hormone therapy). I have always been up front about my sexual nature. Currently I have an HMO, PCP (primary care physician), NP (nurse practioner), and a Therapist. All of whom are aware of my Gay/Bi activities, or whatever you want to call it, and my being Transgendered. My last two HMO's were also made aware of my being Gay or Bi. I do not feel I was denied any care, or received any less care than anyone else. Ps, my last HMO is responsible for my HRT under a Doctor's care. Tip: Please come out to your Doctor, they need to know.
Im a few months away from becoming an adult and so far i havent spoken to my pediatrician( yes i stilll go to one, my mother insists). Shes really cool and everyhting but i really dont feel comfortable telling her of my bisexuality and sexual activities. Im afraid of going to a gyno too. Im beginning to realize that its about time i told her for the sake of my health. Ill be sure to tell her next time. Its about time i stop procrastinating too.LOL. So far ive only told my therapist that im bi and everything ive done. In telling my doc ill be doing myself a favor and to everyone i have sex with come to think of it.
When aids came twenty five years ago, i was a Pulmonary Physician.I got them all and held their hand and cried with them. Realizing the need to know.sexual history entered my history taking. I would hunker down , look at floor in a dimitive way and ask "Are you Bisexual?" this question was very casual and I made a point to put my pen away before i ask ( as i usually made notes for dictation later.)
One day i ask a 40 year old man "are you Bisexual". After a loog deep breath and pause He responded How did you know? I responded i did not know, it is important, So i ask. He has been a good friend for 25 years. He said he had cough which he thought was due HIV and that he planned suicide when he left my office if i confitrmed that he had pulmonary disease. He would not have ask for hiv test..just pulmonary disease. He was negative and thank God he still is due inpart to my instructive care
My brother died from cancer of rectum. His doctor never checked for that till it was too late and doctor never knew he was "Bi"
I had no reservations about coming out to my doctor. Always remember who's paying the bill....YOU - via your medical benefit or out of pocket. So be up front at the beginning and you won't fell compelled to hide it...kinda the general closet rule I guess? Most doctors will likely not blink an eye at your medical outing if they do....then find a Doc who is more open minded! Later on down the medical road you'll be happy to not have to lie about you and your sweet partner! Good Luck!
Our doctor made it much easier for us by just asking. I think doctors should adopt this policy since it is so important in meeting your individual needs.
http://journals.aol.com/gayesteditorever/WorthRepeating/entries/2006/11/09/teen-fights-small-town-homophobia-in-we-belong/507
This is worth the time. Please pass along to everybody you know.
Thanks,
Darrell
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