I received an e-mail a couple days ago from a reader who thought AOL Gay & Lesbian should be more serious:
"When the numerous serious conflicts around the world and here are playing themselves out you choose to display drag queens and clowns riding floats. Why not talk about the Bush anti-gay amendment; gays in the military (like those serving now) etc. Instead of further alienating straights and conservative gays or just plain mainstream gays, you could do more."
When it popped in my inbox, I slipped into a momentary shame spiral and pondered my own shallowness. I even rattled off a short e-mail to the guy with links to "serious" blog posts I've written over the past month or so.
I don't know why I got defensive. I do cover serious topics. But later that day, I thought more about his e-mail and several, more rational thoughts ran through my head. The first was that the guy probably wrote to me while sitting in his mother's basement, in his underwear, watching reruns of 'Gilligan's Island', surfing gay Web sites of ill repute. He accidentally stumbled on my site and decided it was my fault his ex-boyfriend dumped him for someone way better, so he proceeded to dump on me by telling me *I* could do more to help the gays. Isn't that usually the case?
But more importantly, I thought to myself, listen Mr. More-Serious-Than-Thou: Drag queens, dykes on bikes, faeries, leather queens and yes, clowns on floats -- ARE serious. In case you forgot, drag queens gave us the Gay Pride you're walking on.
Gay Pride, while we make it look fun, is still a serious political action, especially in smaller communities. Gay Pride is about visibility, and not just visibility for guys who drive BMWs, have good jobs and wear fabulous clothes. It's for everyone. It's not by invitation only.
I've really been sort of amazed at how many people just like Mr. Serious -- and it's mostly gay MEN, I'm ashamed to say -- have shared comments just like his with me this Pride season. They don't want to see freaks on parade. I say too bad. Get a life. Why is it that people who are part of an oppressed community, who want their civil rights, who want to be treated with respect, don't see the failings of their wanting that for themselves, but not for any other GLBT folks who don't look or act exactly like they do?
Frankly, these Mr. Serious types are the ones giving us a bad reputation, not the drags, sissies and butches.
And another thing: One of the best things about being gay, les, bi and trans, is the homoceptional ability we have to play and be silly. I think it's a homo-coping mechanism. We make people laugh, including ourselves, as a way of getting our message across. If you've got dramatic flair, why not leverage it?
It would empower the wrong people for me to say we laugh to keep from crying. Just because we're being funny or fiercely fagulous, don't think we're not serious. We want the right to live life as WE see fit. We don't need discrimination from society in general, and we don't need discrimination among the ranks either.
Bottom line: Let's be serious, but not take ourselves too seriously.
And with that, I want to share this awesome video which is part of L.A. Pride's celebration this year. It's seriously a blast. Watch it. I know you'll think so too.
And Happy Gay Pride!
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7 comments:
Kenny has a commercial and journalistic obligation to cover as many bases as he can here. That means being serious sometimes and being fun other times. Gay pride is a big, fat hairy deal (or big buff hairless deal, depending on the float), and hello, it's a parade! Parades are not for people in blue dress shirts to slip by with somber faces, gay or straight.
If you want a quiet, restrained good time, go to a church picnic with a bunch of Log Cabin Republicans, I say.
Right on! And write on!! There is enough doom and gloom out there to keep us all down. We need to CELEBRATE and be joyous at this time of the year, especially- because we HAVE come a long way- hell just the fact that the president of the USA is even talking about us is way, way, way ahead of where we used to be. Keep up the good work!!
Michelle in Omaha
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Gay people need their own AOL Welcoming Screen! I get so tired of seeing photos of pregnant women, straight families, kids and nursing hints all the time! It would be great to have gay issues and interests greeting us every time we sign on.
This seems to be implying that if anyone is attracted to the same gender, then that person is automatically a total clown; that all straight people have sticks up their asses.
People, by nature, do not hate gays. However, by nature, people ARE wary of whatever is different from them and what they perceive as being the norm in their own lives. This doesn’t just apply to fetishes and sexuality. Say you're at a birthday dinner for a friend from work and someone arrives wearing an expensive suit and shoes (his watch probably costs three times as much as your monthly rent). His hair is impeccable--his eyes are cold and calculating. And suddenly, he sits next to you. I can only imagine that you might feel a little anxious and more than a little uncomfortable.
There's so much stereotyping in this article that it makes me wonder how the person who could have written it would expect any group to accept him when he clearly does not accept other groups in turn.
The way to gain respect is not to wear a clown suit and say, "I'm wearing this because no one accepts me and I need a hug--LOVE ME!" You just show others the truth: that you aren't so different from everybody else. My siblings all know that I'm bisexual, and yet they totally accept me. It has nothing to do with unconditional love. They accept me because I do not present myself in a false way. I don't parade myself around half-naked and screaming about nipples and rainbows and all that nonsense. I'm probably sitting on the couch in my pajamas instead, eating the last of the cookie dough and watching Nickelodeon with everybody else. It's not apathy; it's truth. Most people who call themselves gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered are fairly normal people.
And as normal people, we’d appreciate some serious news once in a while, like any other normal person would. Being normal doesn't make us stiff-necked Republicans on yachts just like being gay doesn't make us drag queens in bondage riding pink ll
Having fun is fine. It's also fine to express OTHER gays issues. there are many. America is shot to hell, we all know that. Why then act like theres nothing we can do.
I see ther pride thing over. It's dead, and looks that way. Don't say it isn't, because many of you that have written that that is the issue. So, live live and live, till you die. That's what i hear peole saying in here. Like no one cares anymore. that life is that full of quacha! Well then, I do think this gay thing or whatever it's called now, is over. If you can't keep it alive, then it will die. Thats what i mean. Just like Rome. it's a shame, but the BEST, already happened! Then death followed, and still does. Fun? Where? Rent "The snake pit", to see what everyone see's, sooner or later. A rat race, with no future. to bad
Tina Buscos
by the way, try and have a day filled with something else to do. do what you like to do, then fill a need!
Tina Buscos
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