'Project Runway' Meets 'Snakes on a Plane'

Spoilers ahead for the episode that premiered August 30.

'Project Runway' put some ohh la la in its step last night as it whisked the entire cast off to Paris.

The idea of this challenge was fun: Pretend you are a jetsetter, and design something for yourself to wear.

The only problem with this is that these people aren't jetsetters and, for the most part, their designs were painful reflections of this fact.

As I watched Angela and Vincent -- and the others -- board the aircraft in their jetset wannabe and mostly ill-fitting outfits, all I could think was: Uh, oh ... 'SNAKES ON A PLANE'!

So, I give you this week's cast, wearing their own designs, and matched up with actual quotes from 'Snakes on a Plane.'

Sit back. Relax. Enjoy the fright.




Tim: "Remember, time is tissue."




Michael: "Baby got back, front, and side to side!"
(P.S.: Anyone who can marry seersucker and hip hop should have won.)




Vincent: "This sh*t's bananas!"




Angela: "Someone get this snake off my ass."
(Sadly, that was not possible and Angela and her rosette-covered ass are now history.)




Laura: "Do as I say and you'll live!"




Kayne: "Don't you think I've exhausted every other option?"




Uli: "F***ing coach. F****ing Americans."




Jeffrey: "Who's your daddy now, bitch?"

Will Jeffrey's win this week go to his head? Naaaahhhh.

'Your American D-List Idol'

One can always count on The Malcontent blog to seize an opportunity to spotlight bad pop culture.

The Mal-men set their sights on the Fox's latest debacle, 'Celebrity Duets,' and rip the show a new one:

"You have to hand it to the Fox network - they are the masters of the orchestrated train wreck. Take one group of D-List celebrities, add an impressive list of famous musicians mostly past their prime, blend in limited musical ability during a live broadcast, and stir."

Catch the rest of their review and a riveting clip of the magic that is 'Celebrity Duets'.

 

Judging the Judges of 'Project Runway'

With Bonus Video that Will Make You Pee Your Pants



Are the judges on 'Project Runway' doing a good job?

PopWatch blogmeister Michael Slezak is defending the 'Runway' judges today, sort of in response to the biting aspersions cast by Scott Tobias over the A.V. Club Blog.

I have to totally side with A.V. Club on this one. Whether the judges are really "on crack" as Tobias suggests, I don't know. All I know is Angela, Jeffrey and Vincent should have been aufd long ago.

What in God's name are these judges thinking? I do not get it. Why are they getting rid of good people (Malan, Allison) and keeping on talent light-weights?

PopWatch-daddy Slezak actually defends the merits of Miss Angela BubbleSkirt and Jeffrey Yo-Mama-a-Bitch. He stands by the wisdom of the judges, though does at least concede that Vincent should be long gone.

Some of my readers have written in to say that the producers pull all the strings, and the judges are mere well-dressed fashion marionettes who really don't have the final say at all.

I can't see it. I don't think anyone tells Nina Garcia what to do. Ever.

What's your theory?




Perhaps the answers to the wisdom and power of the judges lie in this 'Project Runway' spoof. If you're depressed, listless or feeling down, watch this every morning for five days. You'll feel better, I swear it. Just click the PLAY icon below. 

 

 

L.A. Blogger Garage Sale

So the other day I get a note from my puckish pal, blogger How Was Your Day, Dan Renzi:

"Do you know any bloggers (or just people) in LA?  We're having a big sale."

Immediately, my two best pals, Curt and Alan, came to mind, but I had to dismiss them as candidates. I don't think people in Beverly Hills have garage sales, do they? Didn't think so.

I got to wondering though: Is there tag sale merchandise that's common to all bloggers? I mean, we bloggers live somewhat publicly, writing about our lives and/or observations, and it is that activity that bonds us together. Is there a common theme to blogger trash? Do other affinity groups have gang-garage sales? Accountants? Actuaries? Funeral home owners? What would make the blogger sale different from the others?

I shot Dan a note back, asking:

"What kinds of things might we expect from How Was Your Day, Dan? I want details, including estimated prices and any interesting provenance that might boost sales."

Dan's reply [with links and a couple notations added by me]:

There are assorted things to be sold at the sale, much of them of a very valuable personal nature.  I, for one, will be parting with a few shirts I wore on a recent Real World/Road Rules Challenge.  [Dan was a cast member in the 1996 Real World Miami] They are made of a nylon/polyester blend and they have "Dan" embroidered onto the left breast area.  Gorgeous.  The nylon/polyester blend aspect was so we could wear them for long periods of time while traveling through uncharted lands via bus, and then clean them with Windex.  I expect two dollars.
 
I am also selling a Tom of Finland porn collection, which I obtained when my neighbor dropped dead.  That should make someone good money on ebay.  I would ebay it myself but I'm too lazy.
 
Michael Lucas is sending me a box of porn.  Why?  Because he's my friend and that's what friends do.
 
Willam is selling some drag clothes, Carly Milne of Details Magazine (we are all about Details this month!) [Dan referencing the fact that both he and I are quoted in an article in DETAILS this month] is selling some sex toys she doesn't need anymore, and God knows what the others are selling. 

How f***-ing cool would it be if Calpernia Adams sold men's clothes?  I wonder if she has a twisted-enough sense of humor to find that funny?  I hope so.

OK, first of all, I would NEVER part with my Tom of Finland porn collection but, Dan, I'll give you $2.00 for nylon/poly/Windex-friendly shirt.

For more Who/What/Where/When of the big blogger garage sale, click here:

 

Is Sabotage an Effective Political Tool?

Which is more important: Winning, or the tactics used to win?

That and many other questions come to mind after reading 'Shopping Spree,' an article by Noel Black in The Stranger which suggests that gays engage in some online guerilla warfare tactics as a means to bleed money out of our enemies.

Black has a call to action for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people to hit the Web site of the hyper-anti-gay Focus on the Family and start ordering like crazy all of the free stuff they'll send to anyone who wants it.

It's not illegal, it's just not a good idea.

Focus on the Family is rich with must-see CDs, DVDs and books to, you know, save you from being gay, or help others to save you. Their library covers lots of other sinful habits, too, but a quick glance at some of the titles under HOMOSEXUALITY includes fun stuff like:

'A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality'

'The Homosexual Agenda: Exposing the Principal Threat to Religious Freedom Today'

'Dare 2 Dig Deeper Series: Amy and Jason: Two True Stories Exposing the Truth About Gender Identity'

And, what every classroom teacher needs:

'Teaching Captivity?' Homosexuality is a lifestyle of imprisonment. In public schools, kids are being taught that it's normal. Here's what you can do to keep them free!

I could go on -- the site has five pages worth of homo-hating titles alone.

And, yes, all these books and materials are free. They ask for donations, but you don't have to give one.

So, Noel Black suggests that all us gays go to FOF's site and start ordering away, knowing that by us getting these things for free, it's costing FOF money -- money that could be spent to produce and distribute more hate-filled propaganda, not to mention funding for their lobbyists and other programs.

Black walks you through 11 easy steps on how to rip off Focus on the Family, including how exactly to get the free stuff, then what to do with it. Send to a friend? Resell it on eBay? He does acknowledge that the practice might make some of us feel guilty, to which he responds:

And if your conscience beginsto bother you, think of it this way: Focus on the Family would probably like for you to have the materials anyway, because there's that minute chance that, once in your hands, the materials may inspire you to have a personal relationship with Jesus.

Do you guys and gals think this is a good idea? I have my doubts. For one, I wouldn't want the crazy right-wingers to do that to, say, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force or any number of other GLBT groups.

What Black is promoting is dirty pool. And I know that the nut-jobs who want gays to burn in hell are pretty good at playing dirty pool themselves, but does that make it right for us to do the same?

Black himself points out that his guerilla war plan requires your time and energy. You can only order $100 of free stuff at a time, so he suggests you visit daily.

Personally, I think this kind of political action can end up making you feel worse rather than better. It takes a lot of mental and spiritual energy to do something meant to hurt someone else -- even if they're our enemy.

I would much rather see people use their time and energy for good. Write your congressman. Volunteer at a gay rights organization. Help NGLTF or the Victory Fund canvas door-to-door to get out the vote on ballot measures and elections that matter to our community. Better yet, come out to a Republican. That's the best political action any of us can do.

The Focus on the Family shopping spree sounds funny at first. And some of those titles would make some pretty clever gag gifts. But I think we have better, more effective things to do than engage in sabotage as a political tool.

What do you think?




MEANWHILE and in RELATED NEWS



Speaking of sabotage, more than 1000 people who believe they're proud owners of tickets to see Barbra Streisand may be holding phonies.

Theives used bad credit cards to buy tickets via Ticketmaster and then later sold them on Internet resale sites. Tour organizers have said that "anyone holding those tickets would not be admitted to the performances."  Get the rest of the story here.

There is nothing lower than defiling tickets to see Streisand. NOTHING.

 

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Tom Cruise-a-Palooza

In case you were wondering what the trajectory looks like for Tom Cruise as we watch his career go from illustrious master of the universe to "TOM, YOU'RE FIRED," my pal Neil pretty much nails it on his tickle-your-funny-bone Viral Video Blog with eight craftily chosen video moments that take you on the journey.

Like driving past an accident that's just happened on the road, you really just cannot look away.


Watch: Cruise-a-palooza

 

Watch One of Conan's Great, Gay Emmy Moments

As a follow-up to my Gayest Moments of Emmys 2006, here's a video clip of an opening segment that I talked about. Enjoy.

Big Broadway Dance Number ... About NBC's Shortcomings

 

 

Gayest Moments of Emmys 2006

The kick-ass opening for Emmy's 2006 didn't waste any time with getting gay references worked into the glam night of TV honoring its own. The brilliant opening montage featured Conan O'Brien inserted into sets/scenes on Lost/The Office/House/South Park et al. Host Conan O'Brien was felt up by 'House's' Hugh Laurie, right before retreating into Tom Cruise's now infamous 'South Park' closet. 

Unfortunate timing with a fatal airliner crash earlier that day in Kentucky has prompted some to call the 'Lost' reference in the opening skit "insensitive," but Emmy producers can hardly be held responsible for going on with the show and airing the pre-recorded segment that had been in the making long before the day's crash took the lives of 49 passengers.

Conan, who happens to be my favorite late-night host and one of the funniest men in America, was fully in command of the evening's events and the audience's attention. Although I love Jon Stewart, Stewart's turn as host of the Oscars lacked Conan's variety-show talent and ease with this format. Conan rocked all night long.

Capping off the opening sequence was a Broadway show tune (yay!) dance extravaganza (gay!) set to 'Ya Got Trouble' from the "Music Man,' in which Conan's self-deprecating wit made fun of NBC's low ratings and rankings, the very network that carried the Emmys, and home to 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien'. Ironically, it was NBC that took home the most Emmys among the major networks.

All in all, the Emmys skipped along at a good pace, thanks in part to the fact that comedic legend Bob Newhart was held hostage in an airtight bubble, "forcing" winners to keep it brief or Newhart would be completely out of oxygen at 11:01 PM Eastern. I almost always feel bad for winners when the music starts to shoo them off the stage, though.

The most insipid parts of the night were on NBC's own pre-show red carpet and E!'s red carpet broadcast. Can we not get interesting and smart people to do these interviews? Ryan Seacrest on E! was only slightly less vomit-worthy than Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell, and I only say that because the latter were SO bad that Ryan looked almost good in comparison.

The best pre-carpet moment was when 'Entourage's' Jeremy Piven rebutted Bush's rude, incessant, tabloid-y inquiries about whether he had seen celeb-babies Suri and Shiloh since, you know, he too lives in Malibu. Priven wears a face that says "you are such a moron and I can't stand you" while he basically tells Bush he needs to find a new job and get a life. It's best viewed on video.

Other highlights and gay moments included:

Sexiest Man: Patrick Dempsey

If it's possible, the 'Grey's Anatomy' stud seems to get more handsome with each passing day. People made a huge fuss over his luxurious head of hair and I have to admit, I found myself wanting to wrap myself up in those silky locks myself. Although he copped to the fact that a stylist had worked on him for the evening's festivities, he told one interviewer that he only lets his wife cut his hair.  Can he get any more adorable?

Sexiest Woman: Heidi Klum

Yes, there were better dresses, but the 'Project Runway' aufgabe-master gets 1000 bonus points for showing up pregnant and still looking sexy and elegant, revealing lots of leg and of course, voluptuous pregnant-lady breasts.

Worst Dressed Woman: Paula Abdul

Paula never looked as poorly as she did last night. Her up-do was pulled so tight that it contorted her face, which also seemed kind of bloated. And the weird slurred speech didn't help. Paula dear, pull yourself together.

Worst Dressed Man: Jeremy Piven

Although I loved him standing up to Billy Bush, he should have done the same thing to whoever suggested that wearing an ascot looked good. Jeremy: Never do that again.

Gayest Moment of the Night: Leslie Jordan Onstage

All actor Leslie Jordan has to do is walk into a room and POOF!  -- it's gayer. Way gayer. It was thrilling, and deserved, that he won for best guest actor in a comedy series. And Cloris Leachman and he make an adorable couple.

Most Subtle Gay Moment of the Night: Chris Meloni

No, it wasn't Barry Manilow singing his tribute to Dick Clark -- that was anything but subtle. Try super-hottie Chris Meloni, who scooted across the stage on a Segway  making two or three subtle and slightly hard to hear gay jokes along the way, including a reference to one of his ex-wives, "Sherman." None of this would have been funny if say, Mel Gibson had said it, but since Chris is a great friend to the gay community, we're more than happy to let him get away with it.

Best Bi Moment: Megan Mullally Winning

Kudos to Megan Mullally who won the award for best supporting actress in a comedy. 'Will and Grace' seemed like ancient history at the Emmys, but Karen was always my favorite and I was glad her boozy, rich and wicked portrayal of Karen Walker was recognized. It was also fun to see her flirt with Howie Mandel's 'Deal or No Deal' sex kittens on stage.

Diva of the Night: Joan Collins

Kids, if you want to know what glamour is, look no further than the incomparable Joan Collins, aka Alexis Colby, who was on hand for the tribute to the impressive career of Aaron Spelling who died this year. She still looks like a million bucks, and she knows how to work it.

And finally ...

Most Exciting Moment of the Night: Charlie's Angels

Please tell me I wasn't the only homo who screamed when the original Charlie's Angels walked out, also for the Aaron Spelling moment. The "three little girls" who took us away from everything each week for five years in the late 70s were a sight for sore eyes. Kate Jackson talked too long. Farrah Fawcett is still goofy, though she does know how to wear a dress. And yes, Jaclyn Smith is absolutely perfect in every way. Seeing the three of them together brought back fond memories of watching TV with my guy friends in high school -- them trying to decide which Angel they most wanted to marry, me trying to decide which Angel I was most like: Kelly, Kris or Sabrina.

I couldn't have loved it more.


More Coverage of Emmys 2006 on AOL

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'Project Runway': Mother's Day, With Bonus Bitchfest

Pictured: Mama-drama instigator Angela's mother (left) in a design by Jeffrey,
and Vincent's sister wearing Robert Best, who was the worst.


You should never call any friend's mother a bitch -- unless you mean it in a loving way.

But that's what someone did on this week's 'Project Runway.' (Not in a loving way.) It may have been the best episode of the season so far.

The challenge for Episode 7 was to design a look for the everyday woman. The catch? The everyday women were the mothers -- and a couple sisters -- of the contestants. And guess what? They, like most everyday women, are hardly candidates for size 2 couture.

For the most part, the designers failed miserably. Only three of the eight designs were any good, the rest looked like donated Lane Bryant outfits in the sale bin at the Salvation Army. And that isn't even really a joke.

The weekly challenges are meant to distinguish the very talented from the less-so, and this week was a true test of versatility. Turns out, this cast needs some versatility training.

The best work came from Uli (she should have won), Michael (he just couldn't have won three times consecutively) and Vincent -- who was the official winner. His design is pictured, right.  Both Michael's and Vincent's models (Robert's sister and Uli's mom, respectively) were among the three or four guest models who would traditionally be considered to have "nice figures."

Uli, on the other hand, made a quite pretty and appropriate pant outfit with a flowing top for Kayne's mother, who is lovely but a bit more plus-size than the other two. For that reason, I think Uli should have won.

It was fascinating to see how the moms matched up personality-wise with their children. If you really want to know someone, get to know their mother, right? Laura especially seems like she's a chip off the ol' block. Michael Kors, too, whose mother was a guest judge.

As with all family get togethers, there was quite a bit of drama going on, including one incredible train wreck involving Angela's mother and Jeffrey. During a mid-design check-in, Angela's mom tells Jeffrey that she thinks his design is too matronly for her, and from there a display of tears, anger and disrespect gave the evening the sort of bumpy ride that Bette Davis would have loved.

Jeffrey, who was mean to Mom and disrespectful and called her a bitch, wasn't a very good boy to say the least. It's unanimous among everyone I've talked to since the show: People pretty much hate him for it.

I already hated him. However -- and I'm probably going to get hate mail for saying this -- he's not entirely at fault in this mama-drama. Angela's mom, who at first blush seems nice (which is in and of itself kind of surprising considering she's Angela's mom) could have been a little more giving in her exchange with Jeffrey and, in fact, was a little out of line. He's the designer. This is his future he's sewing, not hers. As a guest on the show, she should have kept her opinions to herself and walked the runway graciously in whatever was designed for her.

Should Jeffrey have called her a bitch? No. Did she kind of deserve it? No.
Was the dress hideous? Yes. Did she kind of deserve it? Yes.

Then there's Robert. Robert, Robert, Robert. We had such high hopes for this WeHo boy with the big biceps who has that job at Mattel that legions of gay men would kill for. But really, is it any surprise that the man who designs fab outfits for Barbie, the archenemy of all plus-size and everyday women, would fail wholly and utterly when faced with designing something fashion-forward for Vincent's lovely (but let's face it, large-ish) sister?  He himself confessed on the air, "I don't understand proportion on this kind of body."

I am sad to see Robert go, mostly because I will miss the girl talk he shared with best-girlfriend-Kayne. Now there are only two gay boys left on the show, and the other one is way less obvious (but you know who it is, right?). By the way, what was with Jeffrey's crybaby angst at Robert's goodbye moment?

Robert spills his guts about getting kicked off in his exit interview with Entertainment Weekly -- a good read if only to hear what he has to say about Laura's sex life.

Finally, 'Project Runway' is the cover story in this week's EW. Find out why this show is  such a hit, what makes it work, and why Tim Gunn is quickly becoming the most beloved gay man in America.

Click to Read: 'Sew Addictive'

Maria Sharapova: 'I Feel Pretty'

Take a world-ranking, tough-as-nails female tennis champion and match her up with one of the most beloved show tunes of all time and what do you get? A fabulous grand slam.

NIKE has hit another ace with their new ad campaign, this time featuring super gorgeous superstar Maria Sharapova. As she travels from her hotel to the tennis stadium, Sharapova maintains a focused demeanor. She's very much in her own head, and is completely oblivious to the chorus of hotel staff, gawkers and others who are singing 'I Feel Pretty' to her.

You have to see the punchline to really appreciate it (and you get to, below), but essentially the commercial's message is that, yes, you can be pretty AND strong.

The impact of the piece is fun, even if the message is sort of duh! for those of us who already admire strong (and pretty) women. Still, it's nice to see it packaged up and sent out to the world to reinforce girl power and empowerment for all women.

Especially when the packaging is so, well, pretty.  And I'm not talking about Maria (though of course she is) as much as I am about the song, which only happens to be a camp anthem that gays adopted long ago. Naturally, I love it.

'I Feel Pretty' was originally sung by another Maria -- Maria from 'West Side Story.' With a book by the ingenious Arthur Laurents (gay), music by the incredible Leonard Bernstein (bi/gay), and lyrics by the incomparable Stephen Sondheim (gay, gay, gay), 'West Side Story' is one of the greatest musicals of all time.

In 1957, 'West Side Story' had its world premiere onstage in my now-hometown of Washington, D.C. It was later made into a movie, which premiered in 1961 starring the beautiful Natalie Wood as Maria.

What many don't realize is that the lyrics for 'I Feel Pretty' changed slightly when it moved from stage to the silver screen. The movie lyrics, which are the ones most people know, most especially every gay boy who ever sang this into a mirror (you know who you are), go like this:

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty, and witty and gay,
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me today.

In the original libretto for the stage, the lyrics read:

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

It's the latter that appear in the NIKE commercial.

The meet-up of of the strong and pretty Sharapova and the beloved Bernstein/Sondheim masterpiece is worth a peek. It's great to keep this music alive this way, and pairing it with the Russian belle seems a perfect match. Way better than -- what? Some ol' Paris Hilton song, right?

Click Play Icon Below to Watch: 'I Feel Pretty'


Also available at NIKE.com

 

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'The Hill' Makes Cable TV a Little Gayer

Yesterday, the Washington Post ran a story about the decline in GLBT characters on broadcast series TV. Although the number only dropped from 10 to nine this year over last, GLAAD, which issued a report on the subject (prompting the Post article), came out saying, "After a landmark year of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender representation in films such as 'Brokeback Mountain,' 'Capote' and 'Transamerica,' the broadcast television networks continue to underrepresent their LGBT audience."

The Post article goes on to say that cable television is taking up the slack, with no fewer than 25 GLBT characters set to make cable way gayer with the start of the new fall schedule.

One such new show premieres tonight on the Sundance Channel: 'The Hill.'

'The Hill' is a documentary that reads somewhat like reality TV. The program follows the young, smart staff of Congressman Robert Wexler (D-Fla) as they keep the machine that is a congressional office running as smoothly as possible in the whirlwind (some might say insane) world of Capitol Hill.

Working for a member whose party controls neither the House, Senate or White House makes it hard to get anything really done, save for running interference and trying to keep the majority party on guard. Still, there's enough action and drama to make for good TV. Issues of the day play main characters too, and it's interesting to watch behind-the-scenes strategy sessions on ways in which the Congressman can have (or not have) an impact. If you fancy yourself even a little bit of a political junkie, this is some awfully good junk food.

More than anything else, the show does a good job of representing what it's like to work on the Hill. The staff know that first and foremost, they need to make their boss look good. They do a decent job of it, and the group operates very much like the little families that make up many Hill offices.

Congressman Wexler appears to be a stimulating and fun guy to work for. I should also note that the congressman isn't hard on the eyes at all -- in fact he's rather a hunk, which makes the show even more entertaining to watch, of course.

Gay and lesbian viewers will enjoy observing the forceful drive of Eric Johnson, the openly gay chief of staff who runs the office. At 33, he's an old-timer on the Hill. Eric's partner and their young son appear on the show as well, and it's here where this program will win some big points: Eric's gayness and his family life are handled very openly and matter-of-factly. It strikes the kind of chord the gay community is always striving for, which is to show the TV-watching American public that gay people are part of everyday life. For the general viewing audience, the fact that Eric is gay is an interesting element to this story, but it's not the story. For gay and lesbian viewers, it's a welcome place to see our lives reflected.

'The Hill': Official Site, Schedule (Sundance Channel)

Click Here to Watch a Clip

Pictured: Eric Johnson, the openly gay chief of staff on 'The Hill'

Paris Hilton *Might* Make Me Cry

Some people have accused me of derided me for told me I don't deserve to live because I promoted Paris Hilton's new album last week and the free listening party on AOL.

My boss A friend sent me a note that said, "Tsk, Tsk... And you like this???" -- along with a link to the article where Paris confesses, "I, like, cry when I listen to it, it's so good."

One of my favorite Worth Repeating readers/commentators left this nicely-put reprimand:

OK -- I'm awake again.  You know I love you, gayesteditorever, but some of this sounds horribly like that awful 70's-era "More, More, More" by the Andrea True Connection.  "Ooooooh, how do you like your love . . ." And I LIKE 70's era disco. Comment from leweslips1

Someone not as nice told me I should stick to reviewing reality TV.

Whatever.

First of all, I said I like her hit song, 'Stars Are Blind.' I haven't weighed in on the album yet.

Yes, perhaps most people seem to want to cry, like Paris, when they hear the album --  though probably not for the same reasons Paris cries (i.e., all the way to the bank.)

However, I reserve the right to like it. I haven't decided. Even good albums sometimes take a while to sink into my ears, and I'm still listening to it. You know, giving it a chance?

Meanwhile, Dan Aquilante at the New York Post on Sunday positively gushed: "Sorry, but we like it."

So bite me. So there.

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'Abercrombie' Age Debate: Votes Coming In

The debate from last week continues: How old is "too old" to wear Abercrombie?

Place your vote, then see the tally so far:

Well, at least that's settled.

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MATT LAUER: Hot Daddy

I don't like to traffic in paparazzi paraphernalia, but I can't help posting this photo of my longtime companion crush, Matt Lauer, caught vacationing in Southampton by photographers.

Matt, you are H-O-T, hot.
(Call me.)


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You Can Open Your Eyes Now: 'Nip/Tuck' Preview

Plus: The Gay Rumors -- True or False?



Here's a sneak peek of the 'Nip/Tuck' hotties talking about the new season of one of nighttime TV's sexiest shows (blood and bandages notwithstanding).

For those of you not in the know, 'Nip/Tuck' is about two plastic surgeons who operate in glamourpuss Miami. The FX cable hit won a Golden Globe last year for best television series drama. Season Four premieres September 5. Several guest stars are planned for this year, including Brooke Shields, Larry Hagman, Kathleen Turner and Rosie O'Donnell.

The show is not shy (<<<understatement) about topics that most programs won't touch with a 10-foot leather whip, including S&M, anal sex, three-ways, swingers and miscellaneous racy gay and bi stuff.  Good times.

There's a lot of other racy stuff that isn't so "good times" at all, including rape, incest and necrophilia, not to mention people doing some REALLY stupid things to themselves and to others, like a grown man who decides to try a do-it-yourself circumcision on his own penis.

There's been a big fat gay rumor circulating that there would be some homo-action between Christian and a new doc played by uber sexy Mario Lopez.  It is with extreme regret that I tell you that, according to TV Guide know-it-all Michael Ausiello, it's not exactly true:

Many of you misinterpreted my intentionally misleading Ausiello Report item about the relationship between Christian and Mario Lopez's hot new Dr. Mike. Yes, Christian takes "more than a passing interest" in Dr. Mike, but it's nothing sexual. Homoerotic? Yes. Sexual? No. Basically, Christian meets him at the gym, and while in the locker room he observes — and subsequently covets — Dr. Mike's stunningly perfect physique. Methinks it's the start of a whole midlife crisis for Julian McMahon's aging alter ego.

See,I told you straight guys look. [Note to self: Renew gym membership.]

Here's my queery for YOU: Where do you fall on the question of plastic surgery? Would you, could you? Ever?

Not that you need it, of course.

'Nip/Tuck' on Video: Behind the Scenes First Look

 

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Tags: Nip/Tuck, Gay, Television, TV

'Runway' Trashed by the Good, the Fat and the Ugly

Spoilers ahead for the episode that premiered August 16.

Designs left to right: Michael, Alison, Kayne

It's the day after 'Project Runway,' and I doubt the world will ever be the same again. Women are in counseling and restaurant business is slowed to a near halt. Jenny Craig's phone is ringing off the hook.

And it's all because of five seemingly harmless words from Tim Gunn: "She is a little large."

Tim was referring to Alison's model, fatty-fatty-two-by-four Alexandra Donhoeffner. In case you didn't know, she's a fat cow.

Alexandra (pictured, right) is a whopping size four (or is she a two?) In other words, she's zaftig.

Tim writes in his post-episode blog entry that "the bulkiness of [Alison's] pleated corset would add more girth to her already-plus-size model."

As soon as 'Runway' ended last night, I wanted to get on the phone to all my girlfriends (the ones who are real women) to find out which of them I might need to put on a suicide watch. Tim is going to cost me hours of providing best-gay-boyfriend time to my gal pals, reassuring them that no, their asses DO NOT look fat. Thanks, Tim, thanks a lot.

Everyone, including Alison herself, was blaming that big tub, Alexandra, as the reason Allison was delegated to the trash bin last night. They also blamed her hairdo -- a Minnie-Mouse-bow-on-steroids hair extravaganza. Was it that, or is Minnie Mouse too fat, too? I'm just saying.

Really, people, if the lovely Alexandra is fat, then I'm straight. Get real!

Plus-size excuses cannot mask the truth: I think the judges are dipping into Vincent's psych meds. That's the most logic-based theory for throwing out Allison, who has been consistently good, and keeping Vincent, who has been consistently horrid, last night included.

If anything, the bottom two should have been Kayne and Vincent. Kayne showed his white trash roots big time with a dress that spelled U-G-L-Y. About the trashy challenge he said, "This is kinda fun for me, because I grew up white trash. My sister and me used to go dumpster diving. I spent my whole life in the trash can." No arguments here!

Laura was only too glad to extend a little passive aggressive friendship to Kayne: "I swear to God I am worried -- I wonder about your choices so often, sweetheart." Does Kayne miss a beat? No. "Well, honey, I worry about your character, and that's worse." Bitch fight!

Even though he sucked, Kayne was given a pass last night based on past performance. Allison should have been given the same consideration.

Vincent's paper disaster was laughable. I suppose the producers think he gives good TV because he's so obnoxious? He doesn't. People hate him. They don't love to hate him, they just hate him. He'd be a great kindergarten teacher  clown  telemarketer  bail bondsman White House spokesman, but a designer? No. Keeping him on makes no sense.

The challenge did show that you can turn trash into treasure, however. Uli's braided dress was divine and, though I hate to admit it, Jeffrey demonstrated great artistry. But it was Michael whom the judges picked as the night's winner -- for the second week in a row. I just love him. "As long as it can be glued, stapled, sewn together, I'm good." Yes, you are, Michael, yes, you are.

 

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'TransGeneration': Do Ask, Do Tell

Four College Students, 'Switching More than Their Majors,' Answer Your Questions



Think college was hard for you? Ha.

Try being a student while having to balance books, grades, boyfriends/girlfriends and, oh yeah, transitioning from one sex to another -- while cameras follow you around school documenting the whole thing.

The incredibly moving, funny and very well done 'TransGeneration' led us on a campus romp earlier this year as we followed four students on their respective journeys to become who they really are.

Now, a forum has launched on the Sundance Channel site where you can post a question for any or all of the show's fabulous foursome, Raci, Gabby, Lucas and T.J. Starting next week, the cast will be online to post responses.

The message board is one of several new online enhancements Sundance is launching for the show as it gears up to air a 'TransGeneration Reunion' on August 28. The reunion will catch back up with the cast to find out what they've been up to since last we saw them.

So, if you have a burning query for a cast member, or just have a question about the transgender experience in general that you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask, here's your chance: Click here to post a question.


Side Note: 'TransGeneration' won a GLAAD award this year for Best Documentary. Here's some footage of the cast accepting. [Warning: Kleenex moment ahead.]

 

Tags: Gay, TransGeneration, Sundance Channel, Transgender

Abercrombie Wars: Young Gays vs. Old

Sewing its way through the Missed Connections section on the Washington, D.C., Craigslist is an interesting thread which embodies several poignant issues at play in the gay community. The setting is local, but the themes are universal.

The brouhaha starts with an aborted bathroom rendezvous of sorts at the Duplex Diner, a neighborhood hangout whose clientele skews heavily gay male. But at the heart of the matter are some fairly insightful, even heartfelt, postings about gay culture.

As background for the non-locals, the Duplex Diner is a bit of a Washington institution. The place has a loyal customer base in a convenient gayborhood location. Its basic but good diner fare (go Tater Tots!) and strong drinks are served by friendly wait staff, most of whom have worked there for years. In the spirit of full disclosure, I should say that I'm "a regular" there.

Despite what some critics on the Craigslist thread say, Eric Hirshfield, the proprietor, has achieved restaurant success of the highest order: The diner has a bustling atmosphere, and people have a good time. There's a mysterious and rare alchemy involved in creating a dining space that stays popular week after week for eight years. In short, it's the kind of place most restaurateurs would kill to have, but few do.

To my mind, the diner is a comfortable place for people of all ages. And it's casual, so you can go there directly from the office or from your kickball game. It doesn't much matter what you wear.

Or does it? Here's where the Craigslist drama kicks in: Some people have their 2xists in a bunch over older men wearing Abercrombie. And so ensues a spate of people spilling their guts in Craigslist's Missed Connections on a range of issues, including:

-- Young gays hating on old gays
-- Old gays hating on young gays (though clearly not as much)
-- The general practice of gays judging gays
-- The general dilemma of feeling judged
-- Amateur fashion critics, and an attempt to identify the elusive age after which one should cease sporting anything by Abercrombie & Fitch.

Aging is something I think about more and more -- since it's happening to me. But then, it's happening to us all, right? There's almost an out-of-body-ness to seeing yourself get older. Recently, I've been referred to as "a daddy" by a couple of people. When blogger Joe.My.God. posted a (super sweet) comment about me on my MySpace page, "Kenneth is the Hot Daddy Bomb Diggity," I was flattered, but taken slightly aback. I think of myself as being attracted to daddies -- not being one. I don't know when exactly this happened, but all a sudden it seems as though I'm becoming my daddy. Weird.

The truth is, if I take a good look in the mirror, see the graying temples head of hair, and wrinkles laugh lines, the only honest response is, "But ya are, Blanche, ya are." This process makes me wonder when I'll start becoming invisible to the younger gays, if I'm not already.

It also makes me wonder why age discrimination is so entrenched in our community. Don't we gays face rejection enough from the outside world? What exactly is so icky about older guys? As a young gay, I never bought into that or felt that way. My unscholarly guess is that we're all afraid of becoming that older guy, and that fear of aging, of being less desirable because of waning youth, freaks the hell out of the Peter Pan that seems to exist in most gay men.

To be fair, I have heard men my age reveal their disdain for young "kids" and the places they hang out. Again, I don't get it. All of us have things to share and learn from each other. I want young guys to tell me I need to tune in to 'Kyle XY'. And no young gay man ever was harmed by learning about the contributions of Bette Davis and how she's partly responsible for him being the way he is.

As far as fashion goes, I think people should wear what makes them feel good. Why should young gays care if an older man is in A&F? Twenty-something fans of Madonna (who turns 48 tomorrow, by the way) don't seem to mind one whit that she dresses like an 18-year-old. Hell, she's now designing and modeling for H&M, one of the youngest "fashion houses" out there.

So what's our big gay problem? Check out these excerpts from the Craigslist thread -- or read the whole string (from the bottom up) -- then tell me what you think.


CRAIGSLIST, August 4-14:

Re: Duplex Diner Saturday Night - m4m - 35 - m4m - m4m - 32
OK guys. Does anyone really like the Duplex Dinner? In my opinoin, it is a bunch of guys in their thirties acting like they are in college again; wishing they had the bodies they have now back then. It screams tragedy. It makes me so sad.

Re: Re: Duplex Diner Saturday Night - - m4m - 24
Yes, I have to agree. It's like the college bar for washed up older men. I think you were being *kind* when you said thirties...I was thinking most of those A&F wannabe trolls are in their 40's if not 50's. Oh well, I guess they need a place to go too.

Re: Duplex Diner - m4m
There is nothing wrong with older gay men being out at a bar with everyone else (shouldn't have to be said) but there is always something wrong (women, men, straight, gay) with people dressing inappropriately for their age. It comes across desparate and insecure. It shouldn't be so hard to dress well when a gay guy over 38 (this number varies) goes out. Leave the tight sleevless t-shirts at home and wear a tailored collared shirt and some well-fitting pants or jeans instead. Believe me, an older guy that knows how to dress is sexy, not an older guy who is desparate. Give it a try, let me know what happens.

Duplex diner people just chill - m4m - 42
There is no reason that I, a gay manof means over 40, cannot dress in current styles. There is no reason that I, a self assured very fit manover the age of 40, cannot wear a sleeveless shirt that shows off my 16" biceps. The amount of work I put into them gives me that license. The way that youboys in your 20s are treating us "old" guysis shameful ...It isbecause my generation (and the older guys that are still around in the next generation) had the courage to be OUT withfamily, work, and others that the process of YOU coming out has been much easier. You should be thanking us, not dissing us.

Re: Duplexdiner people just chill - m4m - 42 - m4m - 23
Honey, you can wear whatever you want, sleeveless t-shirts included - but please realize that you look like an a**hole. I'm 23 years old, and, Jesus, even *I* realize that the window of opportunity for wearing A&F slammed shut years ago. You say you are a "man of means over 40" and that you have a right to "dress in current styles" - but, really, what *is* the current style? A&F is today's snake oil salesman. When you walk up to that hunk o' teen meat behind the register, you aren't purchasing a sleeveless T-shirt emblazoned with an (un)ironic "My Boyfriend Is Out of Town." You're purchasing youth in its most cynical, synthetic form. This is why you see only 14-year-old girls and 40-year-old gay men shopping at the Pentagon City A&F. Sure, you have every right to shop there, but you're fulfilling a destiny imposed on you by some marketing firm in New York.

No one is saying your closet should be filled only with cardigans and orthopedic shoes. But consider your persona, your individuality, and - yes - your age before you hit the stores. And if you can't do that, then don't be insulted when my friends and I can't help but poke fun at you.

Bitter Duplex Haters... - m4m - 27
You all sound catty, bitter, uneducated and lame. If you dont like an establishment, don't go.

If the fact that some older guy was there in a A&F t-shirt turns you off from a bar for good, I'm sure people at Duplex will never miss your company. Personally I'm amazed people still wear stuff like that, but to each their own. Why does what someone wears inspire so much anger in you? My guess is that you suck at life :) Who cares!

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Tags: Gay, Abercrombie & Fitch, Fashion, Washington D.C., Duplex Diner, Craigslist

Hear It Here First: Paris Hilton's New CD

Since I went down the path of proclaiming my love of 'Stars Are Blind,' I may as well tell you that AOL Music has an exclusive listening party starting today where you can hear Paris Hilton's new self-titled CD in its entirety -- a full week before the album hits stores.

I'm still taking it in, but feel free to love or hate it with a comment here.

Paris: Full CD Listening Party



Also in music news: Elton John reveals the track list for his highly anticipated fall album: 'The Captain and the Kid.'

 

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Tags: Paris Hilton, Stars are Blind, Elton John, Gay

Gay Movie Fantasies Meet 'Project Runway'

My mind drifted a little during Project Runway this week. In fact, I fell asleep watching it Wednesday night -- and I never fall asleep watching TV. Thank the goddesses for TiVo.

Having now seen it, I know why I fell asleep: It was a little boring. It just seemed kind of cotton-jersey to me and darn it, I want taffeta. It was weird, too, because I
thought that the design-for-an-icon set-up was interesting. Unfortunately, it fell rather flat.

So I'm watching, and I think to myself: This episode could really benefit from some drama -- and by drama I don't mean Jeff going "quack, quack, quack, quack." Would someone please slap him?

That's when Norma Desmond came to mind. For you neophytes, Norma Desmond is a character brilliantly played by Gloria Swanson in 'Sunset Boulevard,' only one of the greatest movies of all time. It's ripe with black comedy and high drama. There are even elements of crime and horror in it. In other words, it's a lot like 'Project Runway.'

 In my gay fantasy mind, I saw judge Michael Kors channelling Norma Desmond. Michael, whose recent whereabouts have been a big mystery and of concern to viewers, turns to the camera, tilts his head back and says, "It's a return, a return to the millions of people who have never forgiven me for deserting the screen." <fade lights>

Michael, we forgive you, but where in the hell have you been? You think you can just waltz back in, no explanation, no nothing?

From there, in my gay fantasy mind, I pictured each contestant having to turn to and face their respective icons -- while spurting out lines from famous movies. Yes, I am easily distracted.

Laura to Katharine Hepburn:

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." The Silence of the Lambs


Bradley to Cher:

"You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." On the Waterfront


Allison to Farrah Fawcett:

"Why don't you come up sometime and see me?" She Done Him Wrong


Jeff to Madonna:

"You talkin' to me?" Taxi Driver


Vincent to Twiggy:

"I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" Network...
Followed by: "I'm walking here! I'm walking here!" Midnight Cowboy


Angela to Audrey Hepburn:

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning." Apocalypse Now


Robert to Jackie Onassis:

"Don't ask because I'll be forced to bore you to death with the details of my tortured existence." Love and Other Catastrophes


Uli to Diana Ross:
"
As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again." Gone with the Wind


Michael to Pam Grier, in reference to Angela:

"I'm not trying to play Captain Save-a-Ho, as we say in the hood." Project Runway, 2006

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Tags: Project Runway, Gay