*except same-sex lovers
According to a pretty fascinating article in yesterday's Washington Post, gays don't wish they could quit Virginia -- they are quitting it.
That is, they're leaving the state in what some might characterize as droves.
Post writer Kristin Downey explores the phenomenon in 'Feeling Unwelcome, Some Gays Vacate Virginia.' Downey talks to a several residents, realtors and others about an emerging trend in the 'Old Dominion' that has gays fleeing because they don't want to live in a place that has become increasingly hostile toward them.
The writer cites legal, codified discrimination against gays as the primary driver, including a two-year-old state law that bans "civil unions, partnership contracts or other arrangements between persons of the same sex purporting to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage." Downey also points to a proposed constitutional amendment on the November ballot that will ask voters if unmarried people should be allowed to benefit from any "union, partnership or other legal status similar to marriage." Or Not.
These laws threatens all kinds of life and death issues for gay couples, from child custody to estate planning to medical powers of attorney. Basically, Virginia has said that even those miniscule benefits of partnership are part of a slippery slope to gay marriage, and they want gays to have none of it.
There is a scene in 'Blazing Saddles' in which a church congregation expresses through song that it has had just about enough:
Now is a time of great decisionThis could become a theme song for Virginia gay folk. And right after they finish singing it, they'll pack up their Subarus, Saturns, Jeeps and BMWs and get the hell out. They'll close bank accounts, take their kids out of schools, stop patronizing local restaurants and shops, and cease paying taxes. They'll leave jobs in high-tech and, yes, defense, creating a brain drain in one of the country's most sophisticated professional work environments.
Are we to stay, or up and quit?
There's no avoiding this conclusion:
Our town is turning into sh*t. Amen.
In short, gays will abandon Virginia's economy. Without going into the dollar value of that impact, can we just generalize and say this isn't good for Virginia?
I'm not sure how I feel about the mass migration. One the one hand, who could blame people for leaving? No offense, but I would never live there. As a native Westerner and now 20-year resident of Washington, D.C., I only half-joke when I tell people that the South makes me nervous. My friends know me for what they call a Kenny-one-liner: "Once I cross the Potomac, I'm uncomfortable until I get to South Beach."
Why would I live in a state that has nullified any legal agreements that my husband and I have executed? We are already second-class citizens living without the same privileges and protections straight people have. Do Virginians think I would accept living as their neighbor when their state legislators see nothing wrong with allowing religious and "moral beliefs" to pro-actively create civil laws that further demean my life?
I had to
"Extreme homosexual organizations" might be trying to frighten their members by circulating false information about the amendment. She said it wouldn't add restrictions on gays but would simply underscore the ways their relationships are already restricted.
Ah. She just wants the law to be REALLY, REALLY clear: Gay relationships are less-than. Thanks.
The flip side, of course, is that if gays leave Virginia because they aren't wanted, have the right-wingers won? Should we give lots of support and encouragement to gay Virginians and worthy organizations like Equality Virginia who don't leave because Virginia is their home, too? Of course we should.
But which strategy is more effective: Leaving or staying? And what would you do?
You tell me.
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43 comments:
There was a time when I would have encouraged the folks in VA to stay and fight the battle. However, in recent years my mind has changed on the matter because of the acceptance gays and lesbians are receiving in many communities around the United States.
Why stay and fight with close-minded, narrow-sighted, self-centered people when you can leave and find a community that not only welcomes you but throws out their arms to embrace you as you arrive in town. There are many places across the U.S. that welcome gay and lesbians as well as same-sex couples. They treat them as equals and bring them into the fold of the community. They are recognized as people, not political pawns.
So why stay somewhere that doesn't want you? Let the close-minded folks live in their hatred. Life is too short to be fighting with people who put more emphasis on hate than they do on personal hygeine.
"Life is too short to be fighting with people who put more emphasis on hate than they do on personal hygeine."
^^I couldn't have said that better myself!! lol!
Lv Stevie
xxx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/stevietwain/ThelifeofSte/
Personally, there is only two views one can take on the subject of the "State Tourism Slogan: Virginia is for lovers- excluding same-sex lovers. One of these is to say, simply, that being gay and lesbian is wrong, period. The other is that gays and lesbians have an equal right under the U.S. constitution to do as they please. On the former, the facts pertaining to this argument is that many claim not only is it sick and wrong, it goes against Christianity and most other religions too, including judaism, buddhism, hinduism, and most others. People also say this, and I think it a very important part of the argument: NO ONE IS MAKING YOU LEAVE OR BE STRAIGHT, THEY ARE SIMPLY SAYING THAT THE STATE SLOGAN WAS MEANT FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE. It may upset many people to hear this rude awakening, but it pertains to the argument at hand, and that is: back in the day (that is, 300-some years ago, when this country and states were being founded, it was based not only loosely on Christianity, it was also based on a straight culture.
In some other countries- particularly pertaining to many african tribes- they would flog you in a hurry if they saw you even hint at being sexually close to another of your same gender. And at that, the gay-lesbian feeble argument stops. Personally, I must say, as judge of the arguments, neither of them win. DUH. There was never any fight, but all the lesbos and gays out there choose to make a big stink out of it. But if I had to choose one to be a better argument, I must say.... the former wins, and the latter suffers a catastrophic defeat in the face of society. TOO BAD! And not only this, but as a faithful CHRISTIAN, WORSHIPING THE ONE TRUE GOD, AND HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, JESUS CHRIST, I am morally obligated to say that NOT ONLY SHOULD PEOPLE TURN GAY OR LESBIAN, OR CONTINUE TO BE THAT WAY,
. That may offend some, but its too damn bad, obviously, because that is what our forefathers thought when they made this country. THEY, not YOU. And the other side of this argument is that gays and lesbians have an equal protection under the law..... but it bothers me a bunch to see all the queers- and YES, i'll say queers, because it means the same thing as gay and lesbian, and oh well if you dont approve of the term. It was there before you were born- parade this argument of protection under the law. Well, GOOD! THE LAW NEVER SAYS YOU CAN'T BE GAY. OUR COUNTRY JUST DOESN'T APPROVE, AND NEVER DID. Same with other countries, too, so stop griping about it. At least here you can do your stuff in peace.
BECAUSE OF CHRISTIANITY, they should also not stop believing in God because he KNOWS that those acts are impure- because WHY WOULD YOU RATHER LIVE A SHORT LIFETIME OF SIN AND AN ETERNITY IN HELL, RATHER THAN ETERNITY IN HEAVEN AND A GOOD STRAIGHT LIFE?! really folks, im straight, and i can tell you that, without a doubt, being straight is definitely fulfilling, and i would not want to be gay anyway. and even if someone wants to, they still shouldn't.
GET OUT THE STATE NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Being a gay Virginia resident, I have made a vow to myself that by the time I'm 18 and ready to get a life of my own I'm getting the heck out of this state! Although I don't know where I would go, anywhere would be better!
As far which strategy is more effective; leaving because when you just are not wanted and are overwhelmed by a hostile enviorment (Its all redneck country down here) it just simply doesn't make sense to stay. So, we can leave, but when doing so we take our cause elsewhere and let our voice be heard where we can actually make a significant change that would ultimatly make life better for ALL gay Americans. By leaving Virginia we are making a bold statement saying that the way we are being treated is simply not acceptable and not american.
Ive been thinking these very same things for a very long time and it goes for the whole country, not just virginia. Why should we be paying the same amount of taxes as everyone else when we dont have the same rights. Im tired of being considered a second class citizen and paying my fair share. How about that kind of economic impact, if all the gays of america paid at least one tenth less taxes than everyone else until we were allowed to marry, and adopt and have consensual sex in all 50 states. By the way, thank god I live in massachusets, the south scares me too.
I'd leave. Plain and simple.
Look, back when I was 17, I was dating guys. If anyone had come up to me and said, 'In the next year or so, you'll be dating women', I would have thought they were nuts!
Now, at almost 21 years old, I've been dating the same woman for almost 2 years. I didn't PLAN for my life to happen this way, just like NOBODY -PLANS- to get into a car accident. It just happened. LIFE happened. I'm happy and that's all I should care about!
Instead, I'm constantly confused because of the prejudice people have for 'people like us'. Constantly being told, 'Oh, you're going to Hell', and knowing unless I move somewhere like Canada, I'll most like NEVER get that wedding day I've been dreaming about since I was five - which is the ONLY reason my girlfriend and I have relationship oroblems. Does this actually make straight people happy? That their fear of something 'different' is destroying the love between two consenting individuals? I've tried to change but I can't. Just like some women can't help but fall in love with the wrong type of guy, I couldn't help falling in love with who I am today. It's love and it's supposed to be a GOOD thing. Straight people should be ASHAMED of themselves for the way they treat us. Instead, they have turned love into a NIGHTMARE for some of us.
Okay, people say this country won't approve of gay marriages or anything of the category because of religion. You guys are fucking morons! Sure, this country was built on religion, but OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK AROUND! This country is NOT religious anymore! We have different religions in this country now, INCLUDING ATHEISM! If this country and you people are going to bring up the religious battle of your FEAR, and yes, I say FEAR, because that's the ONLY/MAIN reason you guys are so damn prejudice against us gays, but you don't want to admit it. You're AFRAID of something you don't understand. Homosexuality isn't a fucking disease. You're NOT going to become gay by being friends with one. Anyway, if you guys are going to bring up the religious battle of this fight, then you might as well start protesting against... Well, let's see... GAMBLING! DRINKING! SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE (Couples who live with each other but aren't married). Using religion as your reason for not accepting us... It's BULLSHIT! Because that would mean you MUST also no accept Gambling, Drinking, Unmarried sex, etc. If you do, then you're not entirely religious... Are you?
I live in DC as well -- and while I have many wonderful friends who live across the river, I don't plan on moving there anytime soon. As divided as the country is, it would be great if we could all centralize in some of the "bluer" parts of the country (DC, Massachusetts, Oregon) and create a power base at the local level. I support those who are leaving -- in fact, is there a way that we could organize a Big Gay Underground Railroad to better facilitate the Virginia evacuation? I'd volunteer ...
I hate people that say this discrimination and clear violation of equal rights is ok. "Too Bad" as someone wrote. This is all to simmilar to the arguments people used in the 60s to deny black people equality. Now only a complete idot somewhere in the South will dare say anything about blacks deserving unequal treatment or try to argue that its ok. We all know its a political suicide. This is just another civil rights movement and one day, hopefully not so far from now, homophobs will realize that they are just like white supremessists and shut up ones and for all. If I lived in Virginia I would leave. I'm not gay, but I detest this treatment and would move out of respect for my fellow Americans. Its disgusting to listen to any kind of argument against equal rights. And when it comes to religion, fine, if they take everything so literally why dont they bring back slavery? After all its there in the bible. Its ok to stone someone to death if the disrespect their father or husband, why not do that as well? If people buy this "sanctity of marriage" bullshit, they are simply STUPID.
It isn't surprising to me that gays and lesbians are finally standing up for what they believe in. My partner of 14 years and I had it all - our dream home in Florida in a gated community, great school district, lot's of kids in the neighborhood - something we worked very hard for so we could start our own family by adoption. After doing research and finding out just how horrible the laws are in Florida for gay the gay and lesbian population across the board, we sold everything and moved. Why should people invest in their neighborhoods they are not going to be treated like anyone else?
I say "good for you" to each and every person, gay or straight, that makes a change - no matter how drastic - to put themselves in a better place, a place that recognizes them as more than just a tax payer, a place that respects them as a citizen.
the State of Virginia will be the first of many to feel the sting of the loss of gay tourism dollars. The "bridge" is on fire, and it may never get rebuilt.
I used to live in VA, but I was so happy to get out of there. Before Lawrence v. Texas was ruled on by the Supreme Court, it was 5 years 1st offense for HOLDING HANDS in public. There isn't enough love or money in the world that would make me move back to that Gods forsaken, uneducated, backwoods, redneck Commonwealth.
I think it'll hit them where they live (in their pocket books) when they discover that Gays and Lesbians pay a lot of tax, that suddenly won't be there. To you, my dear Virginia, BITE ME.
LEAVE! Plain and simple, get out of Dodge. If all gays left Virginia, the state would suffer. Money talks and we as gays have some. Take it away in droves from one state and then see what transpires. easier said then done, I know, but if it could be, what a statement it would make. Go to Vermont, Massachusetts, somewhere that welcomes, for the most part, us. Virginia is the worst state in the union as far as discrimanation toward gays is concerned. A few other red states are not that much better, but it sure would be a start. We as gays have put up with far to much for far to long. The time is now to make a stand, and standing in Virginia is one place I choose not
Kitandrox@aol.com
What is the State of Virginis doing right. Maybe California can learn from Virginia.
The gays are not happy just being treated normal any longer. They want more then normal folks. And most of them want to flaunt it infront of children and church groups.
Why can't the gays be happy with being equal and normal. Why do they have to have the rest of the world become Gay?
Yes, I would leave that f#$% place and let them have it to them selfs. Let them pay the taxes and be marry and go to their wonderful churches and listen to their own bigotted priests. Pack up and go to greener pastures, I would!
A "gay" friend in Hawaii
I think it is rather funny that our taxes are welcome,our mortgage payments, and other dollars we spend are welcome, but we are not.In a country that is so free we are not free.Sort of like when all the japanese were rounded up and put in camps because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.This is a country where the politicians are high into family values and morale values. This is a good one. Don't let the gays and Lesbians adopt the kids of the "straight people" that does not want them,instead throw them into the streets to grow up as criminals.Teach the kids of "straight christian people" to hate. Where in the Bible does it say that we are to hate one another?Show me please.Oh and the Golden Rule? Does this now mean that we can tell "straight" people that they can no longer marry?
The only thing is about gay marriage,and I will try very hard to say this with out offending anyone. There is no life less we have the opposite to regenerate life. I do believe this ends the issue. Imagine in the first years of the begining of man, and woman, a man did not take a woman's hand and complete what needed to be done. Life ended before it began. Oh I know what would come next. We have the tec to change that now, yes true' but back then we did not have. So the story go'es something like this. Man is the seed, and woman is the carrier so now what comes next? Baby BOY OR GIRL wow we keep life going. So how surprising this all can be said with out brining god in to it. Science runs hand in hand with GOD. Good luck on destroying life
I think Gay's have a real problem. They really want alot from us normal humans. Think about this my girl friend and I have been living together for more than 3 yrs and we cannot recieve the benifets that a gay couple can. What is this you say, we are willing to contribute to life bring more people into the world, and keep the world turning, yet be punished for this. And they just want to have sex, with out the bother of creating more life. So lets have all the fun, and no responsibility to the human cause." Oh "but they can adopt a kid and help out with that part of life. I think the beging is enough. You see it is simple I have a craving to eat alot of junk food wich will make me obese and lead to clogging of the arteries and die. Same with being GAY, no more opposit sex partners hence end life. So if I just stop eating the junk food everything is ok. If you just stop being GAY everything is ok. Contribute to life you see you can do it stop the craving that is killing you.
Virginia is not where I want to live! There for 50 years, gone now honey!!!
Ex gay Virginian
hooray to Virgina...for defending the fundamental rights of humanity to exist as Male and female without the perversion of the Sodomite homosexual spreading its poisonous influence. All americans must stand against this incursion against humanity and how we were created...Man and Woman....these two ONLY shall be one. Marraige...as God created it...
I am just so sick of this.. Get it straight ( no pun intended) you are perverts. A mans penis was not designed to be forced into another mans anus. God you people are so blind. You are turning more and more people off with your incessant nonsense.
While I am not 'gay' I have known and continue to know many people who are. There has only been one incidence in my life where I was actually frightened. Everyone else have have found to be good, kind and caring people. I would never presume to tell anyone how to live their personal life. And as far as I am concerned what goes on in the privacy of a persons home is their business.
I'm not a Fag, but I'd leave if I lived there, nothing says more to the politicians than for them to see the money and intellegence leave, besides, the Gays would be the winners on basis that the state and local governments would see the Tax base and economics take a dive. Then the so called "righteous " would face a Tax increase that they can't afford right now and have to stew in what they sewed.
Serve them right, take that, those of you that cast a stone.
Rex
MY GOD WHAT HAVE WE DONE Virginia is losing out on some of the best and loving people in the world!!! what if we were to condemn gay people in world history? we wouldn't have history!!! okay just a few thoughts...
Well, well, well... Too many haters... That's what I have to say about it. People are afraid of what they do not understand. Ignorance really pisses me off. I don't go around hating people because they are straight, gay, or a nun. Whatever people do in the privacy of thier own home is none of my business. This world is to caught up in other people's life. As long as people are being productive memeber's of society, there should be no problem. This is suppose to be a place where EVERYONE is treated EQUAL. But we all kn this no to be true, whether it is being first class, middle class, or GHETTO. We all have a place and are judged, put in a category and then labeled. I think people should leave and settle else where, where they're presence will be appreciated and accepted. Nobody should be exposed to hate in a place where they dwell. I mean c'mon these people help keep the city running, and they want to treat them as people that are not good enough to have what STRAIGHT "normal" people have. Ridiculous. GET A CLUE VIRGINIA.
Why go and spend money if they don't give us any protections.I wouldn't feel safe. I will only spend my money in states or cities that truly care about our community. It's government opression of a certain type of people.
Perhaps my own comments are finally in order and though I'm quite sure that those opposing my view will not take heed for it's well known that these people who oppose such things are so hard-set on their own lack of understanding that any other opinion will fall upon deaf ears; but for the hell of it let's try anyway.
First off 'Marriage' and it's definition will vary depending on the way you were raised and the area in which you were raised in. According to such religion it's to be understood that getting divorced was unheard of back then and well, let's not get into the bit about intercourse outside of marriage, children outside of marriage and the ever-irritating bit about the bible being written by people and not by "God" himself; he merely provided the ten commandments which to my understanding are what you're supposed to be following.
Don't take me wrong, believe what you want to. If you decide that fluffy pink sheep are your particular god then fine; be that as it may just don't force it on me. To force a religion on another person in a place that claims you have 'freedom of religion' is pushing the bar a bit too far in my own opinion. Yes, people may get married in churches and "under god" but this doesn't mean that they shouldn't be able to go up to the courthouse and get a little slip of paper that says that these two consenting adults want to be recognized as a couple by the government and other people.
How many straight couples actually stay together now? The levels of divorce are rising rapidly where as many homosexual couples stay together for far longer in my personal experience. It's irritating to hear the "marriage is about reproduction" bit. If that's the case then shouldn't infertile couples be denied the right of marriage considering that they cannot have a child?
If by chance you enjoy rants then this rant is good for the issue:
http://www.ranting-gryphon.com/Rants/2rant-gay_marriage.mp3
The more I think about this the more confused I become. I have come to the conclusion that maybe we need to create a "normal" society. I am a lesbian so I feel I can sarcastically cast this stone. Lets start with burning witches at the stake.We have a lot of magicians that should be burned. And then we have the offspring of all these people that can not read or write.Does this mean they are stupid? Then we need to put them into an institution away from normal society.What about all of the drug abusers and alchoholics. Lets see.. We can put them in the mental wards, apparently they have something wrong with them. Oh the fat people!!! They have committed a sin by being gluttons. They should be stoned or turned into the hills where they cannot mingle with normal people. As for all of us gays and lesbians I guess we should be given land by the government where we can live away from the straight and normal people of society.If I left anything out then I apologize.
Sorry..but you don"t have a"husband"..you have a companion, lover, room-mate..but never a"husband". I am sure that "ole Dominion" will recover from the loss of the gay element and yes, you can just leave if you are uncomfortable with those who disagree with your lifestyle.
Leave and Boycott the Sh*thole!
A complex question: "To stay and fight, or go" in a state like Virginia.
The same can be said about one's religion. Do you stay in an intolerant faith tratidion and work through the system for years to try and change it from within? Or do you find another denomination that does not judge Gay people?
Do you stay in an abusive relationship with a spouse and try to work things out as a couple, say through therapy? Or do you leave the relationship and the abuser? Where do you draw the line? How much abuse is too much?
When it comes to Virginia laws and restrictions on gay legal rights, I believe the abuse has escalated to an intolerable point. If it were me, I would leave, but then I had a abusive dad and vowed that I would never tolerate it again, in any form.
Nelson Bennett
First off, this constitutional amendment not only threatens the gay community it affects heterosexual couples who choose to maintain a domestic partnership who do not proceed with a legally binding marriage.
Secondly, if the answer to this amendment by the gay community is to flee because you don't like it, you are reinforcing the right wing agenda. If the gay community does not stand up and fight for themselves no one else will. So the moral of the story is don't run because you don't like what is going on, step up to it and face it.. Do something about it instead of running out of a state that you and your family have made a home.
I'll start by saying I'd never be in Virginia in the first place. I, like you have an aversion to the South and have no intention of ever going there. Five years ago I had the opportunity to move to St Petersburg FL with a friend who was relocating there. I'm a California born guy and never thought I'd leave the state. I lived in San Diego, San Jose, Costa Mesa, Laguna Beach and at the time the move to FL was contemplated I lived in San Francisco. Sure I'm spoiled, or was. My boyfriend at that time was planning on moving to Reno NV which is nice but I'd never considered moving there but when he made it clear that he wanted me to join him and make a home together I weighed the options and followed my heart right to Reno NV. Luckily Reno is quite Gay friendly and honestly I've experienced far less in the way of hostility and the occasional name calling than I did in SF!
But you asked if leaving or staying was more effective. That is a matter of what result one desires. If I wanted to escape the Political/Religious anti-Gay mindset, and that is what lies at the bottom of the issue I'd hope that I'd realize that that is something that exists in even the most liberal of towns. If I were being harrassed and had no recourse to the Justice system..I'd leave. That would please them and lessen the stress on me. But in the long run the fact is that WE ARE HERE and eventually there will be legal equality. Prejudice isn't something that can be legislated away or shifted from pole to pole. It fades slowly, very slowly and running from it only placates the bigots. Certainly we should support the Gay Community in every corner it resides and it is important for many Big City Gays to realize that there are great numbers of Gay people that love their small towns and southern or mid-western homes. The right wingers wouldn't win in the event of an exodus, we would lose.
Robert
ht
I would leave. Actually, I never would have moved there in the first place. When I was applying to grad school, I didn't apply anywhere that would make my marriage a problem--schools without domestic partnership benefits, schools in states that passed outrageously bigoted amendments against gay people. So much for Texas-Austin and Michigan. We moved to California for a lot of reasons, but most important was that gay people have rights here.
Virginia isn't for lovers, it's for Nazis.
LEAVE THE DAM STATE. WHO THE HELL WANTS TO LIVE WITH BACK WOODS HOMOPHOBES.
VIRGINIA IS NOT FOR LOVERS.......IT'S FOR RED NECK BIGOTS.
WHO NEEDS IT.
Anybody who's SOMEBODY should leave. Virginia should feel the absence of the immense intelligence, creativity, charisma, and power of the gay elite. They should be forced to suffer and go through withdrawl until secretly they yearn for their streets to once again be overflowing with homosexuals. And for the regular, normal gay men and women - we need to stay and fight. We, who don't own huge businesses or make big campaign contributions, or lead in our scientific or scholarly fields, we, the regular gay men and women, we need to stay and fight and never stop fighting. We are the foot soldiers in battle fighting the war and the war won't be won until all the labels have been destroyed.
Anybody who's SOMEBODY should leave. Virginia should feel the absence of the immense intelligence, creativity, charisma, and power of the gay elite. They should be forced to suffer and go through withdrawl until secretly they yearn for their streets to once again be overflowing with homosexuals. And for the regular, normal gay men and women - we need to stay and fight. We, who don't own huge businesses or make big campaign contributions, or lead in our scientific or scholarly fields, we, the regular gay men and women, we need to stay and fight and never stop fighting. We are the foot soldiers in battle fighting the war and the war won't be won until all the labels have been destroyed.
I've read through these comments and here's something many responders don't get... we have families here! Sure are relationships are important to us but so are our 97 year old grandparents, our neices and nephews, and siblings.
We can't just "pack up and leave" because regardless of state law WE are the caretakers of our elderly. Too many of our other family members simply can't do it. My partner and I didn't buy our house just because it was big and we could afford it, we bought THIS house because his reverend mother is 82 and in a wheelchair and Bishop father is 85 and legally blind. Our house is where they will come and stay when they cannot be independent any more because his siblings' homes are much too small and putting them in a nursing home is NOT an option. Folks, we CANNOT leave because regardless of state law, WE are the ones the family depend on and in chatting with our other gay friends, we are not alone in this!
MOVE? It's not an option because some of our ancestors were brought over as slaves and we have investments (non-monetary) in our families. We also have investments-monetary (hard won because of great great grandpa's life as a slave). We have property that has been handed down through generations. We cannot leave because the fight is NOT just about our rights as gays in the commonwealth, it's also about the other issues where we are making progress and we simply cannot give them up!
I've read through these comments and here's something many responders don't get... we have families here! Sure are relationships are important to us but so are our 97 year old grandparents, our neices and nephews, and siblings.
We can't just "pack up and leave" because regardless of state law WE are the caretakers of our elderly. Too many of our other family members simply can't do it. My partner and I didn't buy our house just because it was big and we could afford it, we bought THIS house because his reverend mother is 82 and in a wheelchair and Bishop father is 85 and legally blind. Our house is where they will come and stay when they cannot be independent any more because his siblings' homes are much too small and putting them in a nursing home is NOT an option. Folks, we CANNOT leave because regardless of state law, WE are the ones the family depend on and in chatting with our other gay friends, we are not alone in this!
MOVE? It's not an option because some of our ancestors were brought over as slaves and we have investments (non-monetary) in our families. We also have investments-monetary (hard won because of great great grandpa's life as a slave). We have property that has been handed down through generations. We cannot leave because the fight is NOT just about our rights as gays in the commonwealth, it's also about the other issues where we are making progress and we simply cannot give them up!
Let them go and the sooner the better
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