Gayest Moments of Emmys 2006

The kick-ass opening for Emmy's 2006 didn't waste any time with getting gay references worked into the glam night of TV honoring its own. The brilliant opening montage featured Conan O'Brien inserted into sets/scenes on Lost/The Office/House/South Park et al. Host Conan O'Brien was felt up by 'House's' Hugh Laurie, right before retreating into Tom Cruise's now infamous 'South Park' closet. 

Unfortunate timing with a fatal airliner crash earlier that day in Kentucky has prompted some to call the 'Lost' reference in the opening skit "insensitive," but Emmy producers can hardly be held responsible for going on with the show and airing the pre-recorded segment that had been in the making long before the day's crash took the lives of 49 passengers.

Conan, who happens to be my favorite late-night host and one of the funniest men in America, was fully in command of the evening's events and the audience's attention. Although I love Jon Stewart, Stewart's turn as host of the Oscars lacked Conan's variety-show talent and ease with this format. Conan rocked all night long.

Capping off the opening sequence was a Broadway show tune (yay!) dance extravaganza (gay!) set to 'Ya Got Trouble' from the "Music Man,' in which Conan's self-deprecating wit made fun of NBC's low ratings and rankings, the very network that carried the Emmys, and home to 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien'. Ironically, it was NBC that took home the most Emmys among the major networks.

All in all, the Emmys skipped along at a good pace, thanks in part to the fact that comedic legend Bob Newhart was held hostage in an airtight bubble, "forcing" winners to keep it brief or Newhart would be completely out of oxygen at 11:01 PM Eastern. I almost always feel bad for winners when the music starts to shoo them off the stage, though.

The most insipid parts of the night were on NBC's own pre-show red carpet and E!'s red carpet broadcast. Can we not get interesting and smart people to do these interviews? Ryan Seacrest on E! was only slightly less vomit-worthy than Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell, and I only say that because the latter were SO bad that Ryan looked almost good in comparison.

The best pre-carpet moment was when 'Entourage's' Jeremy Piven rebutted Bush's rude, incessant, tabloid-y inquiries about whether he had seen celeb-babies Suri and Shiloh since, you know, he too lives in Malibu. Priven wears a face that says "you are such a moron and I can't stand you" while he basically tells Bush he needs to find a new job and get a life. It's best viewed on video.

Other highlights and gay moments included:

Sexiest Man: Patrick Dempsey

If it's possible, the 'Grey's Anatomy' stud seems to get more handsome with each passing day. People made a huge fuss over his luxurious head of hair and I have to admit, I found myself wanting to wrap myself up in those silky locks myself. Although he copped to the fact that a stylist had worked on him for the evening's festivities, he told one interviewer that he only lets his wife cut his hair.  Can he get any more adorable?

Sexiest Woman: Heidi Klum

Yes, there were better dresses, but the 'Project Runway' aufgabe-master gets 1000 bonus points for showing up pregnant and still looking sexy and elegant, revealing lots of leg and of course, voluptuous pregnant-lady breasts.

Worst Dressed Woman: Paula Abdul

Paula never looked as poorly as she did last night. Her up-do was pulled so tight that it contorted her face, which also seemed kind of bloated. And the weird slurred speech didn't help. Paula dear, pull yourself together.

Worst Dressed Man: Jeremy Piven

Although I loved him standing up to Billy Bush, he should have done the same thing to whoever suggested that wearing an ascot looked good. Jeremy: Never do that again.

Gayest Moment of the Night: Leslie Jordan Onstage

All actor Leslie Jordan has to do is walk into a room and POOF!  -- it's gayer. Way gayer. It was thrilling, and deserved, that he won for best guest actor in a comedy series. And Cloris Leachman and he make an adorable couple.

Most Subtle Gay Moment of the Night: Chris Meloni

No, it wasn't Barry Manilow singing his tribute to Dick Clark -- that was anything but subtle. Try super-hottie Chris Meloni, who scooted across the stage on a Segway  making two or three subtle and slightly hard to hear gay jokes along the way, including a reference to one of his ex-wives, "Sherman." None of this would have been funny if say, Mel Gibson had said it, but since Chris is a great friend to the gay community, we're more than happy to let him get away with it.

Best Bi Moment: Megan Mullally Winning

Kudos to Megan Mullally who won the award for best supporting actress in a comedy. 'Will and Grace' seemed like ancient history at the Emmys, but Karen was always my favorite and I was glad her boozy, rich and wicked portrayal of Karen Walker was recognized. It was also fun to see her flirt with Howie Mandel's 'Deal or No Deal' sex kittens on stage.

Diva of the Night: Joan Collins

Kids, if you want to know what glamour is, look no further than the incomparable Joan Collins, aka Alexis Colby, who was on hand for the tribute to the impressive career of Aaron Spelling who died this year. She still looks like a million bucks, and she knows how to work it.

And finally ...

Most Exciting Moment of the Night: Charlie's Angels

Please tell me I wasn't the only homo who screamed when the original Charlie's Angels walked out, also for the Aaron Spelling moment. The "three little girls" who took us away from everything each week for five years in the late 70s were a sight for sore eyes. Kate Jackson talked too long. Farrah Fawcett is still goofy, though she does know how to wear a dress. And yes, Jaclyn Smith is absolutely perfect in every way. Seeing the three of them together brought back fond memories of watching TV with my guy friends in high school -- them trying to decide which Angel they most wanted to marry, me trying to decide which Angel I was most like: Kelly, Kris or Sabrina.

I couldn't have loved it more.


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