Thursday 17 August 2006

'Runway' Trashed by the Good, the Fat and the Ugly

Spoilers ahead for the episode that premiered August 16.


Designs left to right: Michael, Alison, Kayne

It's the day after 'Project Runway,' and I doubt the world will ever be the same again. Women are in counseling and restaurant business is slowed to a near halt. Jenny Craig's phone is ringing off the hook.

And it's all because of five seemingly harmless words from Tim Gunn: "She is a little large."

Tim was referring to Alison's model, fatty-fatty-two-by-four Alexandra Donhoeffner. In case you didn't know, she's a fat cow.

Alexandra (pictured, right) is a whopping size four (or is she a two?) In other words, she's zaftig.

Tim writes in his post-episode blog entry that "the bulkiness of [Alison's] pleated corset would add more girth to her already-plus-size model."

As soon as 'Runway' ended last night, I wanted to get on the phone to all my girlfriends (the ones who are real women) to find out which of them I might need to put on a suicide watch. Tim is going to cost me hours of providing best-gay-boyfriend time to my gal pals, reassuring them that no, their asses DO NOT look fat. Thanks, Tim, thanks a lot.

Everyone, including Alison herself, was blaming that big tub, Alexandra, as the reason Allison was delegated to the trash bin last night. They also blamed her hairdo -- a Minnie-Mouse-bow-on-steroids hair extravaganza. Was it that, or is Minnie Mouse too fat, too? I'm just saying.

Really, people, if the lovely Alexandra is fat, then I'm straight. Get real!

Plus-size excuses cannot mask the truth: I think the judges are dipping into Vincent's psych meds. That's the most logic-based theory for throwing out Allison, who has been consistently good, and keeping Vincent, who has been consistently horrid, last night included.

If anything, the bottom two should have been Kayne and Vincent. Kayne showed his white trash roots big time with a dress that spelled U-G-L-Y. About the trashy challenge he said, "This is kinda fun for me, because I grew up white trash. My sister and me used to go dumpster diving. I spent my whole life in the trash can." No arguments here!

Laura was only too glad to extend a little passive aggressive friendship to Kayne: "I swear to God I am worried -- I wonder about your choices so often, sweetheart." Does Kayne miss a beat? No. "Well, honey, I worry about your character, and that's worse." Bitch fight!

Even though he sucked, Kayne was given a pass last night based on past performance. Allison should have been given the same consideration.

Vincent's paper disaster was laughable. I suppose the producers think he gives good TV because he's so obnoxious? He doesn't. People hate him. They don't love to hate him, they just hate him. He'd be a great kindergarten teacher  clown  telemarketer  bail bondsman White House spokesman, but a designer? No. Keeping him on makes no sense.

The challenge did show that you can turn trash into treasure, however. Uli's braided dress was divine and, though I hate to admit it, Jeffrey demonstrated great artistry. But it was Michael whom the judges picked as the night's winner -- for the second week in a row. I just love him. "As long as it can be glued, stapled, sewn together, I'm good." Yes, you are, Michael, yes, you are.

 

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13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was appalled when I hear how large Alison's model was and how she would impact the design....and then when the model appeared I was even MORE appalled that she was considered plus-size.  Our culture is so ridiculously size obsessed and I really hope young girls DO NOT listen to Tim.  He owes women an apology.  I know the P.R. blog is full of response to Alison's being cut, but I am devastated.  I loved her creativity and fresh approach to design.  Big mistake to let her go.

Anonymous said...

Agree TOTALLY that Allison should've stayed, and Vincent axed. I thought Allison was going to go all the way.

And agree that Vincent doesn't entertain in any way--not funny, not bitchy, not sexy, not talented. Lunatic? Yes--it's only in waiting to see if he'll be pushed over the edge, losing whatever bit of sanity that remains, that it *might* be worth keeping him.  

And if they want to see real art, they shouldn't have 1-day competitions, especially if using alternative materials. Maybe they wanted to see trash.

Anonymous said...

I was really surprised to see the usually understated Mr. Tim Gunn get so to the point.  I guess the fashion folk just see the models as a moving clothes rack.  Which they kinda are.  But the truth is that Alexandra looked pudgy and uncomfortable in that, what did Michael Korrs call it?  Some kind of canoli wrapper or something.  It wasn't a good look.

Minnie Mouse did have a rather ample middle and bottom.  Thats the way Mickey liked his women I guess.

I think Vincent has been able to hang on because of his behavior.  Every season has "characters" and this one is a little lacking in comparison.  Over all I've only found one designer to cross my fingers for and thats Michael.  He has "it" whatever "it" is and he is so not all up on himself.  He has the personal quality that Laura tries to have with her way overdone Audrey Hepburn meets Talulah Bankhead severity and plunging necklines that were eyecatching at first but a little desperately pathetic the more one sees them.  OK already Laura, you have the chest of a 12 year old boy on bread and water we get it.

Kayne hasn't done good work since he won the Pageant Dress competition with that DQ gown that's been making the rounds for years.  Any Imperial Court Coronation will have a few and the Miss Gay Pageants are busting with poofy hems and jeweled neck things. I nearly blew milk out my nose though at his comeback to Laura.  She's with the Gays now, this isn't the tennis club.

I'm thinking this season is Michael's to lose.  I wish they'd cover up that thing on Jeffrey's neck.  Its just awful.

Robert
http://journals.aol.com/cowboyxxv/fromtoptobottom/


Anonymous said...

Alison was my favourite of the designers. It was totally unfair to let her go when all of her past work was good and none of Vincent's past work was even remotely good. Vincent deserved to go home the very first time he was in the bottom two and the producers are sorely misunderstanding his role on the show. They are keeping him because either 1. they are so idiotic that they truly believe that he is a good designer 2. he is sleeping with a producer and has been promised to make it to the top three just like Santino or 3. they are so ignorant that they think he makes for good tv. In any case, he needs to leave on the next show. I can't stand him anymore. After he leaves, the silly middle-aged girl who likes to act like she's twelve and wear shorter skirts than my good looking legs have ever put on needs to leave. After that, the mean-hearted old woman who enjoys putting herself above everyone else but cannot deliver that same sentiment in her designs needs to leave. Alison was one of the best designers and should NOT have been kicked off. I think it's time for some new judges. Oh wait, the producers decide who stays and who goes. It's time for some new producers.

Anonymous said...

In the last challende jeffery absolutly should have won, even though I think he is a bully and a jerk I still think his was the best. It fit great and was the only outfit that really looked like a dress. Michael's was just too boring and easy to make. And the biggest mistake was to let Allison go, her dress was not the best but it defenately wasen't the worst. Maybe The judges thought she was too nice or not contraversal enough or somthing, it just dosen't make sense. Vincent should have left, keeping him on is retarded, I agree with what Laura had to say about him.
He is wierd.

Anonymous said...

I just want to say that they didn't call her fat. They said she was heavier. And that means if she is making a dress on a size 0 dress form and her models a size 1 that it won't fit the same. But I also want to say I liked that dress and thought it fit well. I thought Robert would win. Also Vincent is why straight men shouldn't be allowed on. Both of them(jeffery included) have been rude, and insensitive. And vincent was just gross. "I think its hot. Its turns me on." He is just this gross old man, icky. Not to mention hes a bad designer and the dress he thought was hot was ugly. I don't like Vincent. I design better then him and I'm 16.

Anonymous said...

omg i agrre so much with your article--vincent is NOT worthy to be in this competion and its true everyone hates him. i also get your point about the model being "too fat" when shes only a size 4..its rediculous.in my opinion alison should of stayed in the competion i loked her clothing and this was the onlt time she meesed up compared to that retched designer. (vincent) thank you soooooo much for writing this article--it shows a really good point
amanda

Anonymous said...

Ijust wanted to say she is a pig lmao  I was there for her as always but in the past all she showed me was she is still a thief and a liar and all she thinks about is herself so now she can have Mr Stouch the hack non working pc of trash that he is thats the one along with her that has been stealing and hacking my computer and they both our drug dealers and should never be aloud around children.Sad that I have this hate build up inside of me but they both put it there and now Mr.
Monte I'm challeging you a one on one session just to prove who the better man is for i'm telling you now the hurt I'm going to place on you your never forget so boy if you have any part of you that you call a man come here now so I can twist your head off for your a puss and gutless pc of shit...there you go loser now your chance comth here boy!  As for you miss stevens just go back to what you do best selling your ass and your filthy porn......You make me sick to my stomach just thinking about you and you have shown the world what you are and your fake web sites as .Pam Anderson ,Lindsey Loran ,Paris Hilton,Shakria.Beyonce,ect all part of AOL larcey by trick,and the under ground music that should be ban for you are destorying the real talent of our country present and past..Stop the filth from being played on your radio stations Cox now for our childrens sake you scum bag!

Anonymous said...

i agree what the hell is vincent still doing on that show and what the hell is up with jeffery he is so freakin jealous of everyones else work and his designs arent that great to begin with

Anonymous said...


Hmmm.  

I'm guessing that comments made on the show regarding that porky, waistless model were probably made within the context of fashion world and it's norms.  They were probably referring to her as being larger relative to the norms for models.   When stick figures dominate, a less bony figure likely appears heavy.  

Compared to the average American, she's still comfortably sveldt.

Yet again I was vexed to see Vincet avoid being unceremoniously booted off the show.  He's obnoxious, he's crass and continues to make appallingly bad clothes.  

As for Allison, I didn't care for her that much at first, but she seems to be one of the more genuine personalities in the cast as well as being one of the more talented designers - this week's beige "minnie house haystack" dress not withstanding.

For those who've read the disclaimer that flashes on screen at the end of every episode - the obvious injustice of tossing Allison and hanging on to Vince (and his delusions of adequacy) for another week is entirely about maintaining the tension among the cast so we can have our weekly dose of "good television."  

Allison's inoffensive and relatively bland personality did more to get her kicked off than her bad, bad dress.

Kayne's dress was worse...but he's very good on camera and comes from a background that huge segments of the audience can identify with.  (Oh, and he's made some good clothes too.)





Anonymous said...

Allison a size 2 or 4? LMOA
She is a 14..(look her up on the net you can see her composit yourself.

Let's remember here...these girls are on a TV show ...TRYING to become Models.
Not linebackers!!! The Sample size for all designers is a 4...simple. If you walk into a "go see/ audtion" and can't SLIP into the Sample "YOU ARE OUT"!

Anonymous said...

Vinvent's dress really was not that good.  I think that the judges gave him the win because it was so obvious that laat week he should have been sent packing. I personally liked Allison's dress.  It had a look of real cloth and seemed innovative with its sculptured look.  Vincent is always way out there and not in a good way.

Anonymous said...

Allison definitely should not have been "aufed".  She has consistently created beautiful garments for every challenge so I can't understand how she was given the boot but the likes of Vincent was given the chance to fight another day.  The more I watch this show the more I believe that the producers are the ones who make the final decision, not the judges!  I guess they think he makes good TV, but that's not necessarily the case if he keeps producing clothes that my 12-year-old could make better.

Kayne's creation was horrible BUT he has an awesome track record which kind of gave him a free pass.  They should have extended that pass to Allison too because she definitely deserved a second chance.

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